So …… I told her ….. yes …. Singer …. now knows …… my ultimate secret ……
We weren’t able to speak in the manner I wanted ….. but she insisted on knowing …. and rightly so …..
So as she requested ….. I send her an e-mail …..
And I have yet to receive a response …
This is the post-disclosure anxiety ….. and while I’m well aware what her lack of response means …..
At least the burden of maintaining that secret from her has been removed.
(aka “The Flux Capacitor”) “If you keep doing the same ol’ thing, you’ll keep getting the same ol’ thing.” I overheard someone say that yesterday as I was walking down the street …. makes sense …. good observation ….. whatever. I fully expected that once I got to this point ….. the Decision would be…
(aka “What the Phuck?”) Sorry for using the “Ph” word …. but, that is the sort of reaction this Option’s consideration eventually provokes …. from pretty much everyone. I don’t blame them. I had the same reaction when I first starting venturing my thoughts into this territory. I still do. How can one not have…
The last time my parents and I spoke about my transsexualism … they asked “What does it mean to have a gender identity disorder? What is it like? ” They had searched the internet for definitions, and found plenty, but didn’t understand what those definitions meant. Well, I wouldn’t say didn’t understand, but the definitions…
I’ve mentioned before about how ….. in a non-physical way …. I, as Joe Hairdy, must die …… and how there are a lot of memories I have as Joe Hairdy ….. that I cherish ……. but that ….. all of the relationships I have had in this role ……. will eventually cease. Anyways ……..
“Why would you tell anyone you are even considering having a sex change if you are not definitely going to do it? I mean, because, once you tell anyone, things are never the same, so even if you don’t start living as a girl, don’t have a sex change, any relationship you have with people…
Though every time I imagine, reflect or think about an Option 3 implementation, I see nothing but sadness for myself, lost life and going through the motions … I’m finding that doing the Option 3 act lately is not nearly has difficult as it had been for me … It seems that once I Decided…
Thanks Si 🙂 I so hope not to impose on your time, and am trying to be strong, but this one is …. well …. kicking my butt.
Oh well … my insomnia needed to become reinvigorated anyways ! I had actually been getting some occasional sleep the past couple of weeks !! 🙂
You did the right thing, m’friend, and no matter what the outcome, you’ve done what needed doing. The future is bright, even at the darkest moment.
Ride it out, and I will make myself available via email or phone (email me for #) and even by greyhound bus if it comes to that
*hugs*