10 Things I Learned On My Last Golf Trip

(This is a bit outdated. I’m just going through some of my draft entries that I never finished.)

1. If it’s really windy, I mean really windy, and most of the holes are facing into the wind … then I can hit the ball as far as the boys most of the time, because the wind knocks down the boys’ balls and not mine for some reason. (Yeah, I’m laughing.)

2. Otherwise … playing from the 6,300 yard plus tees is just too much for me now.

3. Only one of the guys in the last golf excursion has a cute butt.

4. I can never golf again without a sportsbra. (Not wanting to take the risk of wearing a sports bra around the guys, I opted for my Boys Large A-style Undershirts for compression … terrible idea … even with my tastefully understated hooters … there was no support whatsoever and by the 15th hole in the first round I was noticing it … but worse, my breasts were irritated by the rubbing movement of the undershirts. Terribly irritatated to the point of extreme discomfort.)

5. Rubbing generous gobs of condo-provided hand lotion onto your breasts in an attempt to alleviate the pain from the chafing … feels real, real good. Real good.

6. I can still drink with the boys and can comfortably claim A-drinker classification.

7. Apparently I remain a funny drunk.

8. I still rule in euchre.

9. The change in my appearance has been noticed.

10. It’s really nice being given your own room AND bathroom !!

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  1. “tastefully understated”

    imitation is the most
    tastefully understated
    form of flattery…

    and, yes,
    public boobie massages
    are not a good idea…

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