I resumed sleeping in a bed about 7 months ago.
Prior to then,
Since around 1999 …
I always slept in my recliner.
It seemed many people found that odd.
Though I didn’t.
I had a perfectly good bed,
A nice bedroom set,
And a comfortable mattress,
But I just never felt like sleeping in the bed.
The psychoanalysis of such behavior of mine …
Has become a graduate studies course at some of the leading educational institutions of the world.
Now most people seem to think …
It is a byproduct of either my divorce,
Or My Function.
I think it’s much more basic than that …
Simply being the result of three very fundamental Amy phacts:
- When I get home from work and finally get a chance to veg, I’m lazy. Sleeping in a bed would require me to stand up, walk to my bedroom, and get into my bed. Why go through all that effort when I could just fall asleep right in my recliner?
- In my recliner, I have all the creature comforts of life: my television is easily viewable, my computer is right next to me and a bottle of water is within reach. So berry, berry nice !!!
- I’m a hibernating bear sleeper. I sleep on my side, hugging tightly one pillow, another big comfy pillow under my head, all while curled up in almost a fetal type positioooon. This fits well and snuggly into the confines of a recliner. It’s very, very comfortable. Especially when you pull a blanket all over you where only your nose pokes out. A bed on the other hand … it’s just got too much room.
Succombing to societal pressures,
I decided to give sleeping in a bed another try.
Though hardly as great as so many people seem to think.
My back seems to be in better condition now,
But a loveseat or recliner sleep is still so much more snuggly.
And another downside to the whole sleeping in a bed behavior is that …
It runs contrary to my being lazy when I’m vegging at home mantra …
‘Cause I have to make my bed !
And I do …
Every morning before I leave.
Apparently I got the gene that causes great internal trauma to oneself if they leave the house without making their bed.
I simply can’t do it.
(Proof once again I should have been paying more attention when I was doing my gene shopping at conception. Oh well, at least I’m comfortable leaving the house without clean undies. )
We are now finally at the point of this post …
Today’s Stupid Amy Trick.
Every single day …
When I make my bed …
I make it while leaving my remote control buried someplace within it.
Under the covers.
And then when I go to turn the televisions off,
I have to find the remote control that is now hidden in my bed,
Rub my hands over the bed until it is located,
Push and slide it to the edge of the bed,
Slide my hand up and under the covers,
And pull out the remote control …
While trying not to cause any wrinkles.
Then, of course,
I have to re-smooth the whole bed.
I’m phucking stupid.
I could see that happening once every few weeks or so …
But every, phreaking day ???
There’s probably an alien Marlin Perkins narrating …
And here we see The Amy going through her morning ritual. Notice how every morning as she refreshes her sleeping area, she hides her electronic triggering device but then retrieves it after she has refreshed her sleeping area, which causes her to refresh her sleeping area one final time. She does this every, phreaking day. We are not sure why she engages in such apparently redundant acts, but the psychoanalysis of such behavior of hers is a graduate studies course at some of the leading educational institutions of the galaxy.