More Stupid Amy Tricks
I resumed sleeping in a bed about 7 months ago.
Prior to then,
Since around 1999 …
I always slept in my recliner.
It seemed many people found that odd.
Though I didn’t.
I had a perfectly good bed,
A nice bedroom set,
And a comfortable mattress,
But I just never felt like sleeping in the bed.
The psychoanalysis of such behavior of mine …
Has become a graduate studies course at some of the leading educational institutions of the world.
Now most people seem to think …
It is a byproduct of either my divorce,
Or My Function.
I think it’s much more basic than that …
Simply being the result of three very fundamental Amy phacts:
- When I get home from work and finally get a chance to veg, I’m lazy. Sleeping in a bed would require me to stand up, walk to my bedroom, and get into my bed. Why go through all that effort when I could just fall asleep right in my recliner?
- In my recliner, I have all the creature comforts of life: my television is easily viewable, my computer is right next to me and a bottle of water is within reach. So berry, berry nice !!!
- I’m a hibernating bear sleeper. I sleep on my side, hugging tightly one pillow, another big comfy pillow under my head, all while curled up in almost a fetal type positioooon. This fits well and snuggly into the confines of a recliner. It’s very, very comfortable. Especially when you pull a blanket all over you where only your nose pokes out. A bed on the other hand … it’s just got too much room.
Succombing to societal pressures,
I decided to give sleeping in a bed another try.
Though hardly as great as so many people seem to think.
My back seems to be in better condition now,
But a loveseat or recliner sleep is still so much more snuggly.
And another downside to the whole sleeping in a bed behavior is that …
It runs contrary to my being lazy when I’m vegging at home mantra …
‘Cause I have to make my bed !
And I do …
Every morning before I leave.
Apparently I got the gene that causes great internal trauma to oneself if they leave the house without making their bed.
I simply can’t do it.
(Proof once again I should have been paying more attention when I was doing my gene shopping at conception. Oh well, at least I’m comfortable leaving the house without clean undies. )
We are now finally at the point of this post …
Today’s Stupid Amy Trick.
Every single day …
When I make my bed …
I make it while leaving my remote control buried someplace within it.
Under the covers.
And then when I go to turn the televisions off,
I have to find the remote control that is now hidden in my bed,
Rub my hands over the bed until it is located,
Push and slide it to the edge of the bed,
Slide my hand up and under the covers,
And pull out the remote control …
While trying not to cause any wrinkles.
Then, of course,
I have to re-smooth the whole bed.
I’m phucking stupid.
I could see that happening once every few weeks or so …
But every, phreaking day ???
There’s probably an alien Marlin Perkins narrating …
And here we see The Amy going through her morning ritual. Notice how every morning as she refreshes her sleeping area, she hides her electronic triggering device but then retrieves it after she has refreshed her sleeping area, which causes her to refresh her sleeping area one final time. She does this every, phreaking day. We are not sure why she engages in such apparently redundant acts, but the psychoanalysis of such behavior of hers is a graduate studies course at some of the leading educational institutions of the galaxy.
Have a wonderful holiday and may 2006 be even better than this monumental year.
By the way, I find your “Amy Today” photo diary strangely compelling. It’s a very naughty but satisfying feeling being able to watch another person’s life unfolding…
(Do we want to know? Well, I suppose so. You know, inquiring minds and all that…..)
Amy, why were you doing your best Bullit impression with Mom as your sidekick?
Miss Amy, hope you enjoy your holidays and are with family and friends.
All my best to you, James
Shaft, I think Amy was practicing for her soon to be released promo video for the Amy School of Driving.
All, ask Amy McQueen why she was doing her best Bullit impression with Mom as a sidekick. Thanks, Amy. I sure didn’t want you to risk life and limb but I really do appreciate your efforts.
Where is the Hibbit room , and why are all the photos between
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Outside My Front Window
Grooming the Amy
not available except as thumbnails?
30 White Castles for only $0.2309 apiece. That sounds like another interesting Amy trick.
Geoffrey, only TWO nights? Whoa! You must be one GOOD husband!
I slept on the couch for two nights once, but I eventually apologized and she let me back in bed.
I agree with the bed idea. It’s much more comfortable, and there’s nothing like curling up under a warm blankie.
I’m now taking applications for a partner willing to share the space. A non-snoring cuddler is preferred.
Oy vey! Although I totally respect your own preferences, I have to say that nothing beats a king-size bed with fresh cotton sheets, warm blankets and lots of pillows and a cuddly toy (or a handsome chap!) to snuggle up to. Sure, duvets are convenient and comfy, but nothing beats the cool, clean feeling fo sliding in between the sheets.
Wow! It’s 8.20 AM and I already want to go to bed…yawn…
Your reason for sleeping in a recliner is perfectly logical in that if you like it, do it.
Why change? i haven’t noticed that societal pressures have very much to do with your actions except maybe in the courtroom.
Don’t weaken! Stay in the recliner. Be happy and comfy and as a dividend, there is no bed to make up in the morning.
Sleeping in a recliner? If I slept in a chair my lover would be most unhappy. Do you sleep
in your jammies? If I slept in a recliner the leather would stick to my keester. For comfort I sleep in a bed with nothing between me and my percales.
Ironing? IRONING? I thought an iron and ironing board were quaint cultural tokens of yesterday, kept in a closet to gather dust and remind us how hard life was in olden days. Except for my padwan, who in the galaxy would iron a Jedi robe?
***thinking back to a pic of you dancing on your bed***
…so, dancing on your bed is ok…but sleeping is not? Marlin Perkins has much more to talk about!
and…the “unclean undies” thing…just gross sweetie…
I love sleeping in my bed…and to feel snuggly, I surround myself with pillows (on all sides) and pull the covers all the way up to my nose (I can’t breath under the covers)…
I can’t start my day without making the bed, try taking classes at your local Jr Colege on Bed making….. LOL
I usually wear new undies … it’s that I’m okay not wearing new ones. On the other hand, I hardly ever eat anything for breakfast … I just polish off one, sometimes two pots of koffee in the morning before I head out the door and straight to the nearest restroom once I get where I’m going !!! 🙂
Before I leave I must have have eaten, showered, have clean undies on (shame on you, smelly old fart!) and made the bed. Otherwise I feel totally off for the day.
Yeah … I have this ironing issue. It’s well established. I iron everything. And when I’m done with my stuff, I’ll iron other’s things. Just ask any of the girls when we all get together for a weekend bash someplace … they all bring their things to my room to iron … cause they know I will. Ironing is good because you are accomplishing something, you can do it while watching television, and it’s quiet so when you’ve got a hangover, it doesn’t hurt.
Iron your socks?? Now I’m really worried.
It’s okay Amy, I have that gene too. My husband, on the other hand, hates making the bed, which drives me nuts. I’ve been known to straighten the sheets/blanket before actually crawling into bed. Somehow it just makes the bed feel better.
Question is … Do you still iron your socks?