146 Days

Now the task for my first day back in my home court in almost 5 months …

Was a court-appointed case for sentencing.

I had previously represented my client,

When I was Joe.

She was a big fan of Joe’s,

So I had made it a point to have a consult with her earlier,

Where I told her my function,

As I do in these settings, I offered to make arrangements to find her alternate representation if she had any problem with me respresenting her.

Fortunately for me,

After convincing her that I was serious …

And really did used to be Joe,

She didn’t hesitate for a second before telling me …

“You were great for me before, I know you’ll still do great for me. The only difference is now you’re much prettier.”

Seriously … she really did say that !! 😛

Anyways,

As the elevator doors opened to the 8th floor,

I hesitated only ever so slightly before stepping off.

Time to rock and roll.

First stop …

Courtroom to find my client.

I made my way to the assigned courtroom and checked inside to see if my client was there yet …

But she wasn’t,

Which is what I expected.

Since I had actually arrived there early so I could catch up with the judge beforehand,

And now …

It was time to do the deed.

Now let’s be real kids …

I had more than a fair amount of control over which court appearance was going to be my first one back.

And I specifically chose this particular appearance for a few reasons:

One, I knew this judge’s court reporter fairly well and wanted her to get confirmation of the rumor first. Plus, she’s a nice person and even if she turned out to be totally phreaked by the news, I figured she’d still be kewl enough to have a calming effect on me that day;

Two, I liked this judge. He’s a good person, smart, fair, respectful … so I figured he’d give me an even shake. Actually, all of my judges are good people, smart, fair and respectful … as I’ve said before, I know I’m biased, but my judges kick other judges asses !! And I would have been comfortable enough for my first appearance to be in front of any of them, and there were actually a total of four that I had previously identified in my mind as being who I wouldn’t hesitate to show up in front of first, but again selfishly … even in the past when I’ve totally dorked something up … this judge has displayed a kewl sense of humor and calming smile, both of which I figured I could use today; and,

Lastly, Because I like symmetry. This particular judge was the last one I appeared in front of in that courthouse as Joe Hairdy. Which I thought was kewl. 🙂

So I took Joe’s super secret back hallway access card and used it to get to the judges’ suites.

This being no time for hesitation or thinking,

I walked right up to the office of the court reporter I knew,

And poked my head in her door.

I don’t think she recognized me right away,

And I do think I surprised her,

But she recovered very smoothly …

Acknowledging that she did here the rumor,

And putting me totally at ease with her laugh and just talking with me.

The judge had someone in his chambers,

So her and I gabbed for a bit,

Which helped me relax even more.

Personally,

I felt pretty normal and except for seeing this one attorney I know walking back and forth in front of my court reporter friend’s office door …

Appearing to look at me,

It really didn’t feel much different than any of the 2,632 times I’ve hung out in her office shooting the krap …

Waiting for my turn to talk with the judge.

Eventually,

I peeked my head into the judge’s chambers again to see if the person with whom he was chatting had left.

Now …

For those of you who believe in a supreme being,

And have prayed for me,

In a positive, non-Timmy, way …

Your prayers were answered.

‘Cause of all the people in the world that it could possibly be …

Who would be sitting in the judge’s chambers at that moment,

It turned out to be Kewl Attorney Friend !!

What are the odds of that happening, Spock?

So I told my Court Reporter Friend that Kewl Attorney Friend was with the judge …

And she stood up and said,

“Oh, Kewl Attorney Friend? Let’s go then.”

So she took the lead,

Walked me into the judge’s chambers …

Interrupted the two talking …

But didn’t say who I was.

The judge stood up behind his desk as I approached and held out his hand to shake …

I wasn’t sure if he had recognized me or not,

So I shook his hand and delivered my soon to become famous opening line …

“Good morning your honor, I’m Amy Preston. I’m not sure if you recognize me or heard the rumor, but I used to be Joe Hairdy.”

The judge’s eyes opened wide …

A huge, friendly smile crossed his face …

And he said,

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” accompanied with a very kewl laugh.

I don’t think he recognized me,

But yuhp, I could tell he had heard the rumor ! 🙂

“Hey Kewl Attorney Friend,” I said totally nonchalantly, turning my head slightly towards him and tapping his arm.

“Hi Amy,” he responded.

“You already know Amy?” The judge said, still smiling, setting a comfortable stage to talk as he lowered himself to his desk chair.

“Yeah, I’ve known for a while. She had the misfortune of having chosen me as her mentor years ago and still seems to reuse some of my losing arguments in court.”

“Actually, Kewl Attorney Friend gets the credit for coming up with the idea of me approaching the judges beforehand and disclosing my function.” Editor’s Note: Yeah, I really do call it my function in real life. “He’s also one of the people that gets the blame for talking me into trying to stick it out here in town.”

“Well, you’re certainly always welcome in my courtroom ….” the judge started,

And then we proceeded to have a good 15 minute or so conversation.

Kewl Attorney Friend even brought up an administrative question which I wasn’t even going to mention …

Certainly not wanting to make things complicated for anyone.

However the judge said he’d check into it and get back with me when he had an answer.

Amazingly kewl !!! 🙂

Well then …

With that done,

It was time to get some work done.

So I left the judge’s chambers and went back into the courtroom.

By this time the courtroom was getting full with parties and their friends/families/bondsmans …

Attorneys were meandering in …

A sheriff’s deputy was there doing his thang …

The bailiff was there …

As was another person assisting with distributing the presentence investigation reports (psi).

I went to track down the psi for my client, but couldn’t find it.

The person assisting with the distribution handed me one …

Thinking I was the attorney on the case,

But I wasn’t.

Hmmm … can’t people tell I used to be Joe?

So I went to the bailiff …

Who I knew quite well,

And asked her if she had the psi for my client.

“What’s the name of your client?”

The question surprised me …

The attorney’s name is on the cover sheet of the psi,

I’ve know this person since I’ve been practicing in this court …

And honestly,

Since others had heard the rumor …

I just assumed most in the court had and that she would recognize me.

“Don’t you recognize me?” I asked … looking right at her.

She paused …

Looked at me …

And after more than a couple of seconds silently mouthed,

“Joe?”

To which I smiled and nodded yes.

“Oh my gawd, you look amazing !”

Gawd luv her !!! 🙂

So she gave me my psi and I went to have a final consult with my client before court was in session.

As far as my client’s case went …

Things were pretty much what I expected …

The psi was what I had anticipated,

And I went over with my client some expected outcomes.

Unfortunately,

One component of what I anticipated the sentence to include,

She wanted me to request of the court an accommodation that I just knew this particular judge wouldn’t be willing to fully extend,

Actually, no judge in their right mind would be willing to extend.

Granted,

He would be understanding and all towards a partial component of my client’s request,

But not the entire extent of it.

Yet despite telling her such,

She insisted on me making the request of the judge …

Which of course I would do,

It’s my job.

So we went back into the courtroom and I saw the attorney who had kept looking at me when I was talking with my Court Reporter Friend, speaking with my bailiff friend.

Hmmmmm.

Though oddly enough …

I wasn’t even feeling paranoid.

I turned in the psi which let the bailiff know that we were ready to get in queue when court was in session …

Went over to the prosecuting attorney’s side of the courtroom,

Sat at one of their chairs,

Lowered the seat,

Smirked,

And then went and took a seat on my rightful side of the courtroom furthest from the jury box.

Kewl Attorney Friend’s partner was sitting there and I gabbed with him a bit.

Now I can honestly tell you …

My self confidence in my presentation is still at such a point that I just couldn’t believe people weren’t recognizing me right away,

So I was shocked that he didn’t seem to have a clue of who I was.

Too weird.

Anyways,

Soon enough the judge took the bench,

Court was in session,

And cases were being called.

While waiting for my case to be called …

Kewl Attorney Friend took a seat next to me …

And asked me how my stomach was doing,

Which I mistook for him asking how my nerves were.

I said I was a bit nervous, but doing good,

Which I’m not sure he heard completely,

Because he proceeded to show me some of the grossest pictures of dog waste that I’ve ever seen …

Way too kewl way to distract me from being nervous !! 🙂

Of course, this evoked the obvious whispered response from me …

“That’s one shitty case you’ve got !” 🙂

Finally my case was called …

My client and I approached the podium.

Nothing special by any means,

Something I’ve done hundreds of times …

And thanks to the totally wonderful people that were there,

Treating me as me …

And making me feel welcomed back,

I was finished doing my thang …

Before I even realized that I just accomplished a personal milestone.

Been me,

In one of my courts.

Heck,

The judge even got my name right,

“Ms. Preston, would you like to say anything before sentencing?”

Way …

Too …

Phucking …

Kewl ! 🙂

Anyways,

Once I shut up,

I fully expected the court to immediately shoot down the request I made at the insistence of my client.

However,

It didn’t happen.

And I was more than a little shocked when the court just started into the sentencing portion,

Not even addressing the request.

What the heck?

Am I losing my touch?

I take pride in my work,

And part of my work is knowing my judges’ inclinations and tendencies …

So I can best advise and prepare my clients.

Sure …

I’ve been gone 5 months,

But I can’t believe I misread this one …

Geezuz.

It was an easy one.

Didn’t I make it clear what I was asking ??

What did I do wrong?

It should have been thrown right back in my face.

This was one of those requests that you have to sincerely make and argue before the court on behalf of your client,

But you hope in the back of your mind that the judge knows you’re just doing your job,

And not dumb enough actually think you could convince anyone of actually going along with it.

Krap.

Am I phreaking losing it?

“However,” the judge stated after he seemed like he was finished, “with respect to your request that … ”

He then continued saying that my specific request was something that the court would not do, but then said what the court would do.

Which was exactly what I had said would be the result.

I was happy now …

Not because I just did the court thing there as Amy,

But because I was doing my job

And knew what the phuck I was talking about !

Well, as close as I actually come to know what I’m talking about ! 🙂

So …

That was that.

My client thank me more than a couple times out in the hall,

And went on her way.

I went back into the courtroom,

And gabbed for a minute with my bailiff friend while court was in recess …

Who in addition to having a totally kewl and positive talk with,

Also told me that the attorney I knew that kept looking at me earlier was just shocked at how well I looked.

Which, of course, was a relief to hear ! 🙂

Then when I went to leave,

Kewl Attorney Friend’s partner even held the door for me …

Confirming he had no clue who I was !! 🙂

Not bad for my first time back, huh ??

In fact …

My first court appearance back in my home court couldn’t get any better, right ??

Well …

I’m not sure it could get any better,

But it certainly hasn’t gotten any worse.

As I made my rounds over the following couple of weeks to introduce myself to my judges, some of the court staff, and fellow attorneys I work with …

The kindness and support I have received simply cannot be described.

Sometimes when I think about it …

My eyes still get watery.

I’ve been back to my courthouse at least a half dozen times since …

And though it’s still new and novel in many ways,

As people are often seeing Me 2.0 for the very first time still,

Not once have I felt unwelcomed or uncomfortable.

In fact,

Many, many people have gone out of their way to make me feel welcomed back.

Which is a testament to the fact that I work with, encounter, some of the most amazing people you’ll ever meet.

I’m not going to rehash every little experience I’ve had since my first home courtroom outing,

The detail of this post was for my own personal purposes of journaling.

However,

I’ve had some special memories created as I’ve worked my way back into the local bar (as is bar association, people, not drinking establishment !!) …

And will be posting those for my own preservation desires also.

If you tire of them,

I apologize,

But rest assured,

Some of them are quite amusing ! 🙂