Not My Mutha’s Daughter
My mom and I got into a mild bit of a rumble yesterday …
Nothing serious, just mildly irritating.
In some ways, I think it’s typical mother/daughter stuff … which is kinda amusing,
In other ways, I think it’s not … which is grrrrrrrr.
Here’s what we scraped over …
Yesterday was my parents’ 41st wedding anniversary !! Whoa !! Super kewl !! Congrats Mom and Dad !! 🙂
And I totally forgot !!
Phace it kids … I don’t remember anniversaries … in fact, it was probably the straw that broke the camel’s back in my marriage … I forgot my OWN anniversary.
I don’t try to forget,
I don’t forget them out of disrespect …
I just don’t have anniversaries in my calendar.
I actually think it’s sort of a coping response to my transsexualism … each year passing with reminders … was reminding me of not being happy. I really tried to avoid such occasions, such reminders of wasting my life.
Now birthdays, I remember.
I have them in my calendars and I try hard to make each person’s birthday special even if it’s just in a tiny way.
But that’s because I view birthdays as more special for the recipient, and I want them to feel good.
My own birthday … was not a celebration for me. I didn’t want to be reminded of it … it was just another day.
So yeah … once again … I forgot.
And I laughed it off when my mom and dad reminded me.
“Yeah, that’s the first thing I thought of this morning when I woke up.“, I said with a laugh.
“Really?“, Mom answered.
“No, not even close, totally forgot, sorry. Happy Anniversary though ! You’re going to expect me to remember when I’m Amy, aren’t you?”
Side note 1: I didn’t need to add that last sentence, and really should not have. Especially on their anniversary. Totally foolish on my part. I had been having a krappy day and was phishing for some support. Bad, selfish move on my part. Bad Amy. Bad. I know.
“Yes, you’ll have to, you can’t just laugh it off like you are doing now, it’s a lot worse being a girl and you won’t be able to get away with it, you’ll have to follow worse rules,” Mom said in a harsh, serious tone.
Side note 2: In retrospect, the “worse” word sorta got me going, meaning … instead of just dropping it … I was probably going to moderately engage.
“I don’t think so ! Maybe you think there are two sets of rules, but there are at least three … yours, there’s … and mine,” I said smiling but with some firm attitude.
“NO. Two sets, and the girl set is worse.”
Side note 3: Okay, I’m sorta getting pissed off at how BAD my mom keeps saying it is being a girl, this “worse” thing is really starting to irritate me. I suspect she’s of that opinion just based on upbringing … her era and the expectations and limitations she had to endure growing up in the time she did …. and …. she’s probably highlighting, emphasizing the worse because she’s trying to discourage me, but still … it makes me so sad that she must have hated her life as much as she’s implying to me she did. Oh yeah, and it just pisses me off. Wisely though, chica Amy chose not to pursue this further. [See ! Contrary to popular opinioooon, I’m not a mean arguer (hmmm, is that a word? and if it is, how do I spell it?)]
“Fine then. Everyone else’s rules and MY rules … two sets, there ya go.”
“No, two sets, boys rules and girls rules, and girls rules are awful.”
At this point … Dad decided to intervene, apparently having received a sufficient dose of amusement for the day (hehe) … he managed us nicely.
Dad totally rocks !
Mom rocks too, but she’s so wrong ! 🙂
And if this gets her going, boy … is she ever going to be pissed off when she sees what I’m planning on wearing to prom !! LOL
Side note 4: “And if there are different sets of “rules” … then I think the set of rules for girls like you, even if they are as BAD as you’re implying … are a helluva lot better than the “rules” for TS-girls like me … I’m well aware of that … and consider yourself lucky !” … I didn’t say it … but I thunk it !! 🙂
shawna IS a fictional character,
even though she may seem eerily familiar,
or even just eerie…
That was the greatest play EVER!
just so you know, I don’t do screen plays. just raw unpolished fiction. And I don’t have a resume. whatever.
Thanks for the cameos for Mom and Shaft !! 🙂
Yeah, I know … I do have to remember them, I know I have to remember them, I will remember them … I just don’t want to be told I have to remember them.
Childish, I know ! 🙂
emily’s mom got a cameo…
okay, i think i’ve mentioned before
that the typical mtf ts has no idea
HOW convoluted the mother/daughter
another okay; your mom is right…
but i have often said,
when asked why,
“I want to take full advantage of the
economic advantages women enjoy.”
then pause a moment before bursting into
some natal women are resentful of the way
TSs appear to cheat–
we got the advantages of being male,
(including but not limited to
we often arrive late in the game
and make it look so easy…
it’s not as easy as we make it look…
more than anything,
your mom is expressing concern
that you might not realize
what you’re getting into…
your mom is not as deluded as mine,
but i’m thinking she still diesn’t
understand that it’s not a matter of you
WANTING to be a woman…
write anniversaries in the back of your book;
the book of your days–appointments,
there should be some pages with months and spaces
to put notes…