So I was leaving the building,
On the ground floor,
When some woman,
With movements and gant …
Suggestive of recent alcoholic intact,
Also sporting a singular tooth,
Walked/stumbled/danced towards me,
Arms a’ flailing.
When she was several steps away from me,
She looked away from the direction she was heading,
Which was towards me,
And turned her head back towards the entrance of the building,
Saying something to the guards behind her.
Her move must have distracted her,
Causing her to forget where she was walking.
She definitely didn’t see me …
As she approached me rapidly,
For a drunk person that is.
So I swerve to avoid her running into me.
Though as I swerved out of her way,
She turned around just after the moment of avoided impact,
And spun one of her arms in a 180,
Which had in its hand a pocket book.
Now though I had gotten out of the way enough that she didn’t run into me,
When she spun her arm,
The pocketbook she was carrying hit my leg,
At which point she dropped it.
Now instead of an “I’m sorry” or an “Excuse me“,
Which silly enough I actually expected to hear from her …
She looks straight at me and says,
“What are you doing?”
In a fairly attitude filled manner.
I hadn’t had a good day up to this point,
And was far from being in good form for prime retorts,
So I offered the incredibly weak reply of …
“What are you doing?”
But I learned as a child that a good response to a situation where you don’t want to put any thought into the response,
Yet mildly annoy the person calling for a response from you,
Is to simply repeat what they said.
Considering I just had to do a tap dance to avoid being run into by this woman,
Yet she’s taking the approach of getting in my face for her inability to cordially navigate a phreaking large entranceway,
It was pretty damn certain I wasn’t going to put much thought into a response other than just reiterating hers.
That’s all I wanted to do.
So I turned to continue leaving the building,
When she tossed out the comment of comments …
“You look like a man !”
And the way she said it,
Was mean mean.
I didn’t see that one coming.
Getting hit below the belt doesn’t really carry the same impact with me as it used to in the old days,
That was a hit below the belt !
It was a lucky hit,
Because I really don’t think she executed a Function Call.
I think she just blurted it out because I was wearing a suit (sans tie of course),
And since I wasn’t staggering all over the floor,
Was considerably taller than her.
Now one might think,
At this stage I’d come up with a witty response,
But no …
Oh trust me,
I did have to bite my tongue,
Because there were numerous delicious morsels of snide at my disposal,
But it was neither the time,
Nor the place.
I just wanted to leave,
Without creating a scene.
So I did one of my patented,
“Head bob up and down while slightly extending my neck in a Jar Jar Binks fashion while lifting my right upper lip just a notch below a snear and stating ‘Nice’ in a prolonged manner synchronized with the head bob“-moves,
Then turned and walked away.
She said something more to me as I walked away,
Not sure if it was trash or not,
Damage was already done.
My feelings hurt,
And confidence taken down even lower than it already is,
From the random shot of a drunk walker.
As I would say,
Editor’s Follow-up: Now this singular incident did bum me out,considerably. It definitely ruined the rest of my day, my evening, and led to a nice night of insomnia. I was extremely aware the very next morning when I was in the same place where the Walker Under the Influence event did its damage to me. I had to keep myself from looking around to see if anyone was watching me. It sucked.
I figured that the rest of the day would be a bit of a mess for me too,
As a result,
It’s hard to shake those experiences,
At least for me.
Though I got a gift a few minutes later,
From the following words of a fellow attorney friend.
Friend: “Hey Amy, remember that drunk woman that ran into you yesterday?”
Silent thought: Gawd luv ya dude, thank you !!! I knew she was drunk.
Me: “Oh yeah, I remember her. She ran into me, didn’t she? I didn’t create the scene, did I?”
Friend: “Oh no, I was walking right behind you, I saw the whole thing. You were quite nice to her. Anyways, she got in the elevator I was in … and took offense at me when I called her “ma’am” and asked what floor she needed. Just so you know, she told me where she was going and the floor she wanted to go to, but it was the wrong floor … anyways, I let her get off on the wrong floor, probably still wondering around here for all I know. Paybacks, justice … one in the same. :)”
There is no way he can ever imagine how much him sharing that helped me.