Honest Answers From A Certain Point of View
Guy at the bar who overheard me commenting to no one in particular about the dude pushing the ball down the court in the basketball game on the tube.
“Dolt, he should of fed. Totally manned. And he had numbers on the left. What the … ”
“Geezuz, where did you learn so much about basketball?”
“What can I say, I was a tomboy growing up.”
Editor’s Note: I use this line more than any “Honest Answers From A Certain Point of View” response, because it always makes me laugh … I so was a tomboy growing up. 🙂
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Exchange with a guy who I just wasted in a game of pool.
“Nice shot. Where did you learn to shoot like that?”
“I spent a fair amount of time in a fraternity house during my college years. It had a pool table … oh yeah, and a houseful of guys. Let’s just leave it at that.”
Another Editor’s Note: I’m not bad at pool, but I’m really not that great. Back in the college years, I rarely was able to win a game against any of my fraternity brothers. For some reason, the same shots seem to work better now that I’m usually making them while wearing a short skirt, tight jeans or a snug top. Also, to any of my fraternity brothers who are reading this krap, the reference to “a houseful of guys” was simply for misdirection purposes of this response. It in no way means I ever found any of you attractive or the least bit desirable. I didn’t. Definitely didn’t.
*rant on*
One of the more annoying things for me in transitioning is dealing with former male friends who get all phucking weird thinking I must of had these secret thoughts or desires about them over the years … get over yourself.
Seriously.
It’s not the case.
Back then … I was doing the guy thing. I’m transsexual, not gay. So boy-boy things have never had any interest to me and I never looked at a guy and thought “desirable” before I transitioned.
As far as now … give me a phreaking break. Besides it simply being way too weird to even consider some guy I’ve known before as possibly desirable … look at it from my perspective:
Over the years I’ve probably heard you talk about masturbating, watched you pick your nose, flick boogers, tilt-fart-giggle, walk out of the bathroom smelling your finger and muttering something to yourself like “my finger poked through the toilet paper“, jumped around doing dry humps as you told some story that really never happened, listened as you shared every one of your insecurities, fears and phreakish desires while you were drunk or high, and heard you relay your sexual conquests or defeats to others in the most graphic of terms while making reference to certain body parts now of mine in ways that I certainly don’t appreciate.
Now I understand the guys that I hook up with now or in the future do the same thing, but I haven’t had to witness it or experience it – meaning I can do that whole “pretend my guy doesn’t do that” thing women do until we find ourselves emotionally invested in a guy, at which point guys start behaving as previously mentioned around us.
With that being said, all you guys from my past can rest comfortably assured that there’s no way in hell you will ever find me making a move on you.
And don’t even think of me in any way like that !! If you find yourself thinking of me like that, STOP IT !!! Categorize me as your annoying kid sister that tattles on you ever chance she gets … and if you still find yourself thinking arousal of me after that … move to Kentucky tool.
If I’m nice to you, it’s simply because I’m a nice person. If I compliment you, again, it’s because I’m a nice person. I compliment people. Maybe in your case, I thought you could use a compliment – not as a come on, but as a friend being nice. And for some of you, I’m undoubtedly your best chance to be seen talking to a woman that’s not inflatable or without the police arriving and carting you away.
Whatever the case … just appreciate my kindness.
And stop phucking avoiding me.
Fools.
*rant off*
Uh. sorry … that one was building up for some time now. 🙂
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Conversation with this dude who I just impressed with some totally trivial automotive information that Shaft told me to use if I ever wanted to show off to a guy.
“You are amazing ! I’ve never met a woman like you before.”
“I’ll bet !! And don’t you forget it.”
A Non-Rant Containing Editor’s Note: I’ll admit it, Shaft gives me some tips on lines for me to use to invite guys to hit on me. And though they all involve topics of which I have absolutely no interest … hockey, cars, hockey, cars, hockey, cars … they are all extremely effective.
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“Let me get this straight Amy. You came here, all by yourself, just trying to find some people to hang out with, and you didn’t know anyone here?”
“Ahhh, yeah. That’s pretty much it.”
“Gawd girl, you’re brave !”
And Yet Another Editor’s Note: An understatement maybe ?? 🙂
Girl, I was just giving you a hard time. Here in Louisville we don’t really think of ourselves as Kentucky. I’m still reading the archives so I can catch up to the present day and this is where I got to today when I should have been working. Aims, I just love this story of your life, so thanks for sharing.
I think my guy friends always have it in the back of their minds that I’ll suddenly be into them. I can assure them, it isn’t going to happen as I have better taste in boys than that. 🙂 Take care!
LOL Sorry girl !!! I take pot shots at pretty much any stereotype from time to time … certainly no offense intended. *hug*
And don’t forget, I grew up in Tennessee, and most Northerners can’t seem to distinguish Kentucky from Tennessee, so I’ve had more than a couple “cousin luvin'” comments/jokes tossed my way. So I kinda rationalize it further that since I’m subject to them, I can toss them out too. Granted, it’s not a very sound rationalization, but it’s the one I use from time to time, nonetheless.
On an unrelated note, being an older post … I wasn’t sure of what I said that was bothersome to you, so I re-read my post to find my poorly chosen words. Have I ever mentioned how weird it is for me to read some of my old posts? Anyways, please bear in mind that this was a rant post and I was fairly pissed off about the topic of rant … I can say, the “word of message conveyance” in that sentence was not Kentucky, but “tool“, meaning that Kentucky could be replaced with Tennessee, Arkansas, or West Virginia, though honestly, I use those states for other jokes.
Lastly, that particular topic of that rant is still something that pisses me off to this day, and if written today, I’d write it the exact same way, except that now that I know you’re from Kentucky, I’d use a different state. 🙂
“Categorize me as your annoying kid sister that tattles on you ever chance she gets … and if you still find yourself thinking arousal of me after that … move to Kentucky”– Ah, not funny! As a proud resident of Kentucky I can honestly say that our siblings don’t do it for us, cousins on the other hand….
it is probably just me – but did anyone else noptice that it does not matter where the fart is placed as it relates to the tilt – giggle?
Not attitude; with your looks and personality, why should you lower yourself to “old” standards?
New and improved requires new and improved, does it not?
Laura a
I’ve kinda got an attitude, don’t I? 🙂
Well, I think in many instances, people are distant or quiet not because of any issues they have with me, but just because they really don’t know what to say … and maybe self-conscious about saying the wrong thing.
Say someone is diagnosed with a terminal illness, it’s not uncommon that people sort of avoid talking to them … trying to come up with the right thing to say and failing to realize that the only wrong thing they can say is nothing.
Those such instances I understand … what annoys me though is guys freaking out because they think I’m into them … which is never the case with men from my past. They should be so lucky.
Cool post Amy; I’ve noticed that some of the guys I knew before are distant. I never thought of it like you presented it. I always assumed they were staying distant for fear that someone might think them gay if they showed any interest in me. Anyone who is attracted to us must be gay, right?
laura a
ROFLMAO … Well, a padawan must do what her Jedi Maahhster instructs !! 🙂
No no, Amy. Those delusions are tools of twisted delight! I rub my hand together just imagining the evil. 🙂
Don’t get me wrong … my fraternity brothers are getting a free pass, sure … they deserve it and as I said, one has been incredibly nice, and phreaking funny, which goes a long way with me !! Besides, the rant was not about them at all. I just wanted to clarify the whole “house full of guys comment” and sort of got on a roll ! 🙂
As far as some other guys from my past … if the thoughts have ever crossed their mind that I’d ever let any of them touch me or desire to touch them, they need to stop thinking that a nice gesture or compliment on my part is anything other than just me being nice.
Lord knows I’m all about tweaking … however, I’ve found that when it comes to guys from my past, I have to go to the total extreme of caution in an effort to prevent the dolts from forming delusions that “I want them“.
What? You’re letting the thuds off the hook so easily? I would tweak their insecurities and let them twist in the wind. _That_ would be funny.
🙂
LOL You should see a couple I haven’t yet posted Tyler !! LOL 🙂
I do need to clarify this though … the rant wasn’t directed at my fraternity brothers at all. I just understand that some visit and wish the butts would say ‘hola’. I honestly never kept in touch with any of them after graduation … so non-communicado is the norm. They were all good guys back then and I would expect they are the same now, unless I’m not the only one that had a sex change. 🙂 Plus, one of my fraternity brothers does communicate with me and is exceptionally kewl, even considering that I probably now him owe dinner, in addition to drinks for the evening, for my obscenely slow e-mail responses ! 🙂
It’s an intersting dynamic … many guys from my past do seem to be way more uncomfortable around me than guys that know my past, but only know me as Amy.
Thanks Glen ! 🙂 I might at some point.
I have nothing against on-line match-up services.
Right now though I’m totally enjoying my dating life, however I’m not seeking nor ready for an exclusive relationship or anything that has its purpose a serious relationship. If it happened, fine, but I’m not looking for Mr. Right. I want him so sort of just sneak up on me and then someday I go … oh, wow, he’s been there all the time. So with that in mind, these days I’m just interested in social fun and interaction … something which is contrary to the goal of many a dating service.
I go to bars and social activities now mainly for the real human interaction and frankly, practice, for when I am ready for the exclusive or serious relationship !! 🙂
Holy raging hormones, Batgirl!
When you go off on a rant….I can feel the heat radiating from my LCD screen.
Why are the kewlest ts girls I have ever known former fraternity guys? One of my best friends in New Orleans (a ts) was in Kappa Sigma. It blew me away when I found that out. She also ranted that her “brothers” all shunned her since transitioning. So much for that “fraternity for life” stuff. (There’s probably a movie script in this somewhere).
You really must understand your former brothers’ thought process. If they see you as attractive, they worry about that slippery slope toward homo-land. They of course do see you as attractive and that sets off all sorts of conflicts in their psyches. Too bad girl; you are good looking and you are just going to have to deal with that “burden!” (Everyone should be so cursed).
As for the others who act weird, I would just chalk it up to those still lagging behind in the last century. Transexualism will eventually be just accepted as another variation among our citizens. Just as there was once a time when one’s religion was cause to be ostracized by other religions, transexualism will become more readily tolerated over time.
I read recently that there are two distinct groups of transexuals. In one group the TS prefer the company of girls In the other, the TS want men as companions. Some want to be girls so they can be accepted among girls, while others want to be girls so they are more attractive to (straight) men. I think this study is pretty accurate, although I would leave a ten per cent factor for those folks who never conform to behavioral patterns just for the sport of it.
I think it sucks that you are getting shunned. One thing about transition is that you surely find out who your real friends are. Of course this is true whenever we take a big risk or take a controversial stand.
I never liked the bar thing very much. First of all, smoking stinks and I hate getting that smell in my clothes. By the way, smoking for TS girls is way stupid, since the risks of cancer quadruples with the combined effects of hormones and tobacco. Secondly, I met my ex-wife in a bar and I learned my lesson about that mistake about ten years ago.
You have a particularly challenging situation, similar to my own. You obviously are outgoing and social, but in your case, it is difficult to find enough enlightened people to share time with the new you. I found that meeting people who are intelligent and stimulating to be around is just impossible where I live now. That is one reason I am moving to Iraq. I figure that I will probably not be bored over there, even if I still do not find many stimulating companions or conversations. There is something about incoming mortar rounds that have a special stimulating quality all of their own.
Amy, with your leadership qualities, I am surprised you haven’t started a number of philanthropies and social groups of your own. I have no doubt that with your vivacous personality and “tomboy” background you will have no trouble bringing together the best sort of people in your area.
***That rant of yours was a good one. I know you feel better just setting those thoughts free.
Tyler 🙂
Amy ….why don’t try a dating services like Match.com? Gat away from the bar scene. You would have no problems your a great looking woman and lots to talk about other than hockey & cars.