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Amanda and Nicole – Day 4
So … Bright and early on Monday morning, Mom and Dad came to my rescue with a McDonald’s fix … Sausage Egg McMuffin, Along with a Breakfast Burrito. The two items were really more of just an appetizer for me … But it sure was nice to have some greasy fast food to whet my…
Telephone Action
Ring … Ring … Ring … “Hello” “You didn’t watch the football game Saturday because Amy was doing stuff, right?” “I didn’t watch the game because we were playing Houston and if we didn’t blow them out, I’d just be pissed.” “Oh, okay. Bye dear.” “Bye.” Ring … Ring … Ring … “Hello.” “You’re wearing…
It’s No Big Deal
So …. I had to go to my primary care physician this afternoon …. I’ve got my MRI at 3:45 AM tomorrow …. ugh …. and just wanted to go over a few things with him …. “Few things” meaning bringing him up to speed on all my TS issues …. diagnosis, hormones …. you…
Post Day 5 – Routine
Swelling has finally started to abate !! Woo hoo !! 🙂 Ouch … shhhhh … please quiet down. The headache on the other hand … remains !! 🙂 Things have pretty much settled down into a normal routine and my recovery seems to have grooved into a nicely blah mode ! My stomach hurts still,…
I’m Nutz
Personally … I don’t think so. I don’t think I’m crazy in the least. I don’t think I’m nuts. I don’t think I’m the victim of brainwashing. I don’t think I’ve been entrenched into accepting the beliefs of a cult. I don’t think my decisions have been made because of the misdirection of some evil…
Cinco De … Baked Apple
So after our feeding freenzy at Hooter’s, During which we had many laughs … Most at the expense of poor Spuddy, We returned to the office for an afternoon of flurried work. I had an afternoon filing deadline to make, So there wasn’t much time for further goofing off. Which was nice … as once…
ROFLMAO Ouch LOL OwWW !! ROFL Son of a … LOL 🙂
Or, she could break into a rendition of a revised version of Bob Hope’s themesong:
“Thanks for the mammaries. …”
Somewhere in between curing the ill, rolling drunks, and making a corned beef sandwich, I found a little time to call Amy and wish her well…Well, actually, I was calling on behalf of the repossession comapny I work for, but given that her big day was coming up, I thought I give her one more day of enjoying the naugahyde Barca-Lounger, and decided to share my warm wishes instead…
Well, as could be expected, Amy was somewhat worried. I’m sure she was a little worried about the implications of this next big transition ste step, but her greatest concern was that she had not thought of a snappy line with which to regale the assembled post-op staff once she emerged from her miasma…..
I know it’s a bit late, and the moment has since passed, but here are some lines you could have used, which would almost certainly have guaranteed your being smothered with a chloroform soaked rag….
5. “I couldn’t help but notice the lack of an implant under my superfluous third nipple…”
4. “Just to clarify, you did fill these implants with rich, creamy nougat?”
3. “So….now that I have pornstar boobs, when do I get to fellate Ron Jeremy???”
2. “Hey…I was coming here for a breast augmentation, not to get my feet amputated….Wait, there they are….my bad….”
and No 1….
“How come nobody told me after the ultrasound that I was going to have twins….”
Bah-dum-dum, Ching!!! Well, it’s not bad considering I’m not getting paid, and I’m not preternaturally funny….
Anyhoo…hope you’re not in too much pain, and if you are, don’t stop screamin’…..
Laura
Frtunately, I was never confronted with this challenge. “To augment or not to augment” was never the question.
I had mistakenly assumed that my mother’s diminutive cup size would be my legacy. My doctor told me that sometimes the gene pool gets “a bit shallow” from generation to generation and my GRANDmother’s breast size would be my legacy. Both of grand mothers seemed to have been well endowed, and the fruits of their nature were passed on to me.
So, despite all information to the contrary, when the hormones “woke them up,” they just “grew.” They didn’t ask permission, they just kinda “happened.” And, after just so much wearing big shirts, vests and jackets to hide “the ‘B-cup’ girls,” I went “full time.” There was little choice.
Keep us abreast of new developments.
🙂
Delia
I’m thinking of you Amy…Good positive thoughts streaming your way…
love ya sis!
Makenna
Hmmm. A fake ad for fakies??? Perhaps there are real ads for real ones??? Makes me wonder where I’ve been all my life.
No … that’s a fake billboard … check out the site … they’ve got a whole bunch of really funny ones ! 🙂
Yeah … I’m a marketer’s dream !! 🙂
You’ve obviously read Prozac Nation!!!! funny girl – the poster ain’t that bad either. Is that a real poster?
so you saw that and said,
“Gee, Doc, sign me up!”