Amy’s Pwus
So they stopped posting questions for The Friday Five last month …
And I really haven’t done any sort of Getting to Know Amy type questions since then. (What’s that ?? Is that a collective sigh of relief I just heard ?? :))
Anyways …
I’ve got some questions stockpiled that have been e-mailed to me in the past, so though I’m waiting to pick a jury as I write, I figure I have the time to answer one such question before I have to do my blah, blah, blah spiel.
This one is from Stacy. (And don’t forget to check out her fun screenplay Blue Hand, White Knuckles based on my The Move experience while you’re at it.)
“What is in your purse at the present time?”
Interested in finding out ?? Then …
You know … I’ve never really looked into another woman’s purse, so I have no idea what most toke around with them … my guess is that my purse contents are somewhat similar to the average single girl, but who knows. Anyways … here’s what I’m carrying around … gleam from it what you will about my personality ! 🙂
My Coach wallet which contains a debit card, an American Express card, a Visa card, a Discover card, some assorted change, $82 in cash, plus some extra in a hidden compartment;
A Nordstrum’s Rack receipt in the amount of $14.87 for an undersized light blue top (go figure);
Bath and Body Works hand lotion in Mango Mandarin;
Glasses;
Tissue;
Somebody’s phone number (I don’t know who, but it’s local);
A coupon for a Quizno’s sub;
Travel-size Clinique Happy Heart perfume;
MAC Fibre Rich Lash Mascara (I really am not a fan of it, despite the claims … it clumps);
A receipt from Marshall Field’s for some shoes (not the ones I purchased in Chicago, but some others … along with with blue tops, I have a thing for shoes. Oh yeah, and overpriced jeans, plus cheap screened graphic tees);
Nail File;
Maxipad (No, I don’t “need” one per se, but I often use one to smooth out the look when wearing something tight or short);
Two 2-packs of some generic cold tablets;
MAC Compact (I rarely use it for anything but the mirror. It’s not a product that works well with me … but then again, other than gloss, I seem to be fighting this whole make-up thing period, so maybe it’s just me. :));
A receipt for 3 Coors Lights;
Another phone number (also local);
Two barrettes and three little hair rubber band thingies (blue, white, pink);
Four quarters;
Matches;
Two Certs (cinnamon flavor);
A Tootsie roll left over from my recent Chicago trip (well, not anymore, I just ate it);
Another nail file;
One 100 mg spironolactone tablet;
A sampler of Clinique Happy perfume;
Aveda Lip Glaze in Mango Juice;
MAC Lip Glass in Oyster Girl;
MAC Lip Glass in Lovechild;
4 video game arcade tokens;
Hidden bail money; and finally,
My travel letter.
Which reads as follows:
____________________________________________
date
To Whom It May Concern:
Mr. Joe Hairdy, also known as Amy Preston, is a patient of the Comprehensive Gender Services Program. This letter establishes that she is under care for gender reassignment surgery from male to female. At times it is necessary for her to dress in the female role. She should be treated accordingly. You should immediately tell her how pretty you think she is and ask her out to dinner and a movie, or at least for a drink. She likes comedies, action/adventure or sci-fi flicks and she can make going out for hamburgers and fries a great first date. Her drink of choice is Coor’s Lite. Bud Lite is her second choice, but she’s not a fan of the new bottles. Sure, they look cute and all, but there is no longer a label to tear off, and Bud Lite labels were the best labels of all to remove from the bottle when you were re-directing your nervous energy. Should you have any questions, please contact me.
Sincerely,
Program Coordinator
____________________________________________
In the over 3 years of carrying this folded up letter in my purse, I’ve used it a total of 0 times. None, nada, el-zippo. But now that I’ve mentioned it, I’ll probably need it this weekend ! 🙂 lol And yeahhhhh, you’re right, whatever … there are a few sentences in the above letter that I totally made up … I’m sure you can figure out which ones ! 🙂
Anyways, that’s what was currently in my purse before I started to do the inventory in order to answer this particular questiooooon ! 🙂
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Ahhh. But as Nancy points out, the letter is a talismen. I carry mine all (both of them) all the time. I’ve never had to use them. Of course, at this point, my ID says F so it might be even more confusing than ever to pull out the letters.
Jennifer
Or how about pale pink? It’s _the_ colour over here.
I was just curious about:
A receipt from Marshall Field’s for some shoes (not the ones I purchased in Chicago, but some others … along with with blue tops, I have a thing for shoes. Oh yeah, and overpriced jeans, plus cheap screened graphic tees);
Now I can understand the shoes, I am guilty of that also (You see, your honor, my client was the child of a shoemaker and is still in therapy for this). But this pre-occupation with blue tops…
You do look fab in blue, but have you considered green? I would think that you might want to try a nice mint julep green top to go with a pair of jeans.
But that is just my opinion and I am sure you know what those are worth…..
Is that a State law or local ordinance, Stacy?
About six months into transition I boneheadedly managed to leave my bag at a fast food hamburger place. Later while I was trying to imagine where I’d lost it I received a call from the manager. He went throught my bag, found my wallet and got my number to call. I was glad I didn’t have a carry letter for him to find as well.
“the letter” is kind of like a switchblade–
you might feel safer carrying it,
but in most cases,
it will do you more harm than good…
the only situation i can think of
that might help
is the restroom problem–
in nebraska,
there’s no longer a law against “cross dressing”
but it is still illegal to use the “wrong” restroom;
if a TS is apprended in or just after leaving a restroom,
having the letter /could/ spare her a lot of trouble,
although there’s no guarantee of that…
Amy, hi I am Nancy for Milwaukee, we talk by phone about Dr. Z. a few months ago. I saw your mention of your letter in your purse. I too have carried a letter around for several years without a need to use it. One day on a trip to Chicago I changes purses for the day and left the letter in my other purse. Of course this would be the day I would get stopped by the Illinois State Police for speeding and driving without my seatbelt (you don
Tamsin, I’m talking about my thinking in 1972 in a very conservative city that had a law against crossdressing. I had a couple of friends jailed for it. In 1973 one friend caused a stink when she was arrested because she was being treated for being TS and got the D.A. and police to agree to lay-off arresting us. They continued to arrest us if they could charge solicitation. I assume the law against crossdressing was later repealed. At least I don’t recall hearing about any TS arrested after my friend complained.
I’ve been wondering the exact same thing Yodette. At this point, the only thing that really seems out of place in my pwus is The Letter, which makes it its own risk … and it would only be useful if I was actually arrested for something, which I don’t expect to have happen … held in contempt, sure, that’s always a possibility, but arrested, let’s hope not ! 🙂
I’ve thought about ditching it, and probably will imminently, but for now I have all folded up and hidden along with my secret stash of bail money.
I so wish I could take credit for the term “function”, but as I’ve mentioned before, credit totally goes to Kate who used it first when she was updating her site. However, my open, continuous, exclusive, adverse and notorious use of it might entitle me to make a claim of ownership under an adverse possession theory, say in about 15 years … absent that, all royalties go to Kate until she decides to gift the copyright to me !! 🙂
Hmmmm … in a weak moment I actually saw this flick I think … This Boy’s Life with Robby DeNiro ?? I think that’s it, but I also want to say Bob DeNiro in Meet The Parents … so I’m not sure … I guess I’m just Focked Up !! 🙂
Yodette, do you mean that you can get locked up for being TS? Are your police that paranoid they’d arrest you for having a male ID card and female clothes?
Amy,
That letter is just too funny…..of course, if the law ‘gig’ doesn’t work out – you can always go into script writing LOL, yeah, I know there are made up lines but it’s still funny. Love the site.
cl
When I started out, my shrink offered me a carry letter. If the police caught me without a letter I would probably have been jailed. I said no thanks to the letter. I judged I was at greater risk someone would discover “my function” (courtesy copyright holder Amy Preston) by finding the letter than by clocking me.