A Long, Long Week
Wow … I’m pretty worn out.
So far this week I’ve had the talk with someone new each day …
Monday – Dr. 172;
Tuesday – Golf Snob;
Wednesday – Nickname to be assigned later;and,
Thursday – Another Nickname to be assigned later.
Now in many ways it’s obviously getting easier for me to talk to people …
I mean, that just comes with the practice,
However, anyone who I deem worthy enough to get the scoop from the mouth of the babe (ahhh, that’d be me folks),
Is a person who is important to me in some way.
Making,
Each talk very, very stressful to me,
And leading me to become one whipped, exhausted, drained chica.
Add to that the extreme frustration I’m experiencing in my attempts to wrap up a few cases,
Getting totally phucked over by an alleged friend who found gossiping about me behind my back more rewarding that respecting me; and,
The whole ego-crushing, confidence-defusing, self-esteem-eliminating interactions I seem to have so frequently now with people and my related confusion over whether it’s caused because somehow I’m turning into a jerk, them channeling an angst riddled reaction to my transsexualism towards me with aggression, or whether it’s just some of the krap you have to put up with being a girl;
And,
You’ll find that the result is me sort of walking around in a fog.
Oh well.
I’m still smiling ! 🙂
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It WAS a hat!
M
Oh and just to remind everyone…
Amy has a birthday coming up soon, so if you want to get her something, make it quick…
M
I’m with ya Amy.
You know that, right?
M
I thought the quote was I feel like I should wear a hat, but I sure wouldn’t place any money on that. Either way … any quote that references raining shit is worthy in my book !! 🙂
Thanks Yodette ! 🙂 I know I’m a challenge at times … but your training is not going to waste !! lol 🙂
Aims,
You’re the movie buff, what was it William Hurt said in “Bodyheat”? . . . “sometimes the shit comes down so heavy I have to wear a raincoat” (or was it an umbrella?) Hopefully you can put this week in that catagory and keep stuff in perspective.
Marcia
Negative energy flows from the dark side. Sheds it a Jedi does, as rain on a dewbak.
🙂
Welcome to the jungle, Amy,
Maybe it’s the nature of people, or maybe it’s just that being trangendered in this town is just too juicy a tidbit of gossip to let alone…
I’m glad that Amy is the only person I’ve met — I’ve no inkling that Amy is, was, or ever has been anyone other than Amy. This is different from some of the other players…not that they’re not good people or anything…it’s just that I am, quite fortunately, unable to compare Joe with Amy.
The good news is that support, friendship and real love comes sometimes from where you least expect it. I am often surprised and even amazed at who and how such occurances manifest themselves day by day.
I’ve my own legacy to overcome…of having been “that guy…” If I’ve not had any contact with a friend or associate for some time, no matter how well I try to prepare them for my obvious change, there is sometimes this peculiar, “sideways-look” at me. Occaisionally it’s immediate, but far more often some subtle distancing happens weeks or months later. They are convinced that I’ve completely lost my mind, and becomes rich fodder for coffee clatches and locker room jokes. And that’s after, AFTER, I transitioned, finished college, and graduated with honors.
I’ve learned to live with the dynamics of it all, and I’m sometimes just as guilty of creating distance from others to protect my emotional needs, but there are days that it is, as you say, “exhausting.”
If there’s a “Great American Success Story” here, It’s still in rewrite.
🙂
delia
Hi Aims, sounds like you have been pretty busy… the good news is your still on track and have not spun off your path. That’s a lot of personal work you have laid out this week. Don’t forget to pat your self on the back (or is it the rear now) for your excellent follow through. Love your work Babe.
🙂 AC