S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y Night

Confirming the pathetic state of my social life since I’ve decided to curtail my validation activities until after my srs,

Once again,

I found myself having a boring Saturday evening.

This week …

My evening of fun was …

Grocery shopping.

Big wow !

(Yes, that’s sarcasm drippping off the exclamation point. I’ll get some paper towel.)

So there I was …

After I had picked up some Beggin’ Strips for Indiana Jones Lando Calrissian …

And as I made my way to the produce department,

I stopped in the paper product aisle,

Where I tried to decide which brand of paper towel to purchase.

It was during this decision-making process that I noticed and made eye contact with two twenty-something men.

One carrying several packages of blue plastic cups …

You know, the kind you use for drinking beer out of a keg (at least, so I’m told :)),

And the other guy operating a videocamera.

Something was going on …

My guess it was a bachelor party.

So I tossed them an Amy-giggle to connote my amusement.

Hi,” said the dude with the plastic cups.

Hi,” I answered while giving them a suspicious, yet flirty, eye squint and smirk.

Hey, he’s getting married next weekend and it’s his bachelor party tonight,” the guy with the videocamera said, taping me as he continued, “how about giving him a kiss for good luck?

So the question for you dear viewers is …

How did Amy respond?

Choose A, B, C or D:

A. “Okay.” *shrug*

B. “Thanks, but I think I’ll pass. Have fun tonight though !” 🙂

C. “Sure, why not? Heck, I’d give him a lap dance for a beer.

D. “I’d like to, but my boyfriend has issues with me kissing other men. Good luck though !

Anyways, if you’re interested … this is what I ultimately decided upon. Hehe 🙂

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  1. Ahhh Laura … I thought everyone agreed that we were adopting the Las Vegas motto for me in Chicago … What Amy does in Chicago, Stays in Chicago !! 🙂

    Yeah, I like the new Brawny guy too, though ya know, I still seem to be attracted to the geeky look … now if they put Bill Gates on the cover of some paper towel … oooo la laaaa !! 🙂 Oh wait, I’m attracted to him just because he’s phreaking wealthy … forget it … bad example !

    *pondering whether to toss out a ‘tube steak’ response*

  2. So let’s see….Amy’s a skank…. Is this still (Amy)news???? I also heard that the Beatles may be breaking up, and that J. Edgar Hoover may have been a crossdresser. Feel free to email me for the details….

    As for myself, I would have stuck with the Brawnyguy, especially now that he’s got a decent haircut, shaved off his ‘stache, and had some FFS….Can’t say no go to a guy who you not only wouldn’t throw out of bed for eating crackers, but can also help clean it all up afterwards…..

    Heh…and as for “The Bet”….I don’t think any of us are suffering in the “loud and obnoxious” department…Whether that counts as “personality” is fairly open to interpretation. But I think my chances of enjoying that steak dinner as so low, that I may as well go vegan…..

    And just to trump Amy’s obvious comeback….”Yes, I will still eat SOME meat…..”

  3. I guessed C as well…after C’ing you in action in Chicago, I knew that was your only logical course of reaction.


  4. Makenna,
    The only problem with going to Costco is that you’ve got to take home a six pack of boys, instead of just the one or two from your local grocery store.

    On second thought, that’s not a problem!


    You go, girl!

  5. Well, I know my jokes aren’t funny enough for me to laugh at myself, but I sure do get lots of guffaws laughing at Amy -wans’!


  6. Rewind to college, yup it can happen. The main thing is the ability to enjoy those moments and laugh at them (there has been plenty of things I’ve done that people are either A)shaking their head in disbelief,B)in shock or C)still laughing their ass off at what I did in some public place then and to this day).If you can’t laugh at yourself how can you enjoy laughing at someone else.

  7. I agree with dana….what fun…so it seems it was not such a boring Saturday night…you’re a riot.

  8. I figure most people reading this krap think I make it up too ! It’s those that know me who shake their heads and go … “yeah, it sure sounds like something she’d do”. 🙂

    Well, there’s always that issue about safety in the back of my mind too, but as far as stupid things I’ve done … this isn’t even close … very little risk just giving a guy a kiss in the grocery store … too many people around, security cameras, store employees, the like.

  9. i don’t know if i’m a chicken,
    or simply safety-concious,
    but i just go home and make up stories
    about things like this…

    note to self:
    do not offer amy a beer

  10. WE … I’m the darkhorse in that little competition. You and Laura are Miss Personalities and all, next to you two, I just disappear into the background. 🙂

    The guys are much better and nicer to flirt with at Home Depot than Lowe’s … at least that’s what I’ve been told !! *snicker* *snicker*

  11. Amy,
    I think I would cheer you on :)..and stop that middle age crap. You don’t look like a 40 something chica. 40 something just means that you know a hell of alot more (and look better in your case) than those that are younger and who think they know everything and try to convince everyone of that without success to us that have to endure them 🙂

  12. Now ya’ll know why it going to be so darn difficult to beat her in “The Bet”. I mean how many chicas do you know that can turn a lowly trip to the supermarket into a boy fishing trip?

    I’ve got to start practicing. Perhaps I need to go to Costco or Home Depot and hang out in the “tools” department for a while.



  13. Hmmmm Pat …

    You mean like seeing a middle-aged woman being videotaped while kissing some twenty-something boy in the paper product aisle of the grocery store? 🙂

  14. Ahhhh … thanks Danna. 🙂 Part of it is certainly just my attitude (credit goes to my family, Singer, and Shaft for developing that within me). I also tend to be a people person and do seem to engage in conversations with people on a whim, which puts me in some interesting situatioooons … nonetheless, I do think sometimes I just have a beacon over my head saying … let goofy stuff happen to this girl !! 🙂

  15. I should have known I’d be suckered in to following an “Amy-able” joke. Honest, I selected C before I read your last post. Thanks for the morning smile.


  16. Amy,
    Ah yes the Saturday night trip to the grocery store. What is really funny is you can really observe people (which is entertaining in its self)usally in their unprimped,somewhat natural state unlike at the mall where the opposite occurs. Both places have their unique people observing qualities, most of the time I have to strain to keep from laughing my ass off at some of the thing people do.:)

  17. Amy,

    One of the things I love the most about you is your ability to take a trivial event such as buying paper towels and turn it into an EXPERIENCE we all love to read about. You have such fun adventures.

  18. Wow !!! I’m impressed Clio !! You’re a real Shelia Holmes, the lesser well-known, but equally skilled, sister of Sherlock Holmes.

    Your deductive reasoning was sound …

    And correct !!

    Actually … I think every one of those answers was something that I might have said. However, if I was going to say no, I would of went with D. Since I have no problem kissing guys, as long as they don’t look dirty or sleazy, I figured this was something to do that would amuse me some … besides, it’s been waaaaaaay too long since I’ve enjoyed a boy-girl kiss, so my first internal response was … A – Okay *shrug* (you were close Danna !) … but when I opened my mouth to reply, I muttered C for some reason. 🙂 I don’t have any idea from where it came !! LOL Anyways, for what it’s worth … afterwards they asked me if I’d like a beer ! lol (To which I replied … “Good luck”, laughed, put some Brawny in my cart, and made my way to the produce department … my work was done ! LOL)

  19. Paper towels…..we doan nee noo steekn paper touwel….wat about de amigos….Too shagg’n funny:)…the URL goes nowhere, does nothing….veeellllyyy intelesting.

    all jokes aside, it’s an interesting situation to find yourself in. If I didn’t know the Purple Neon incident in the Windy City…I’d prolly come to the conclusion that you opted for D (you didn’t want to offend, yet decline in a very sensitive way all the while ensuring that they knew you were attached, prolly didn’t bother to check your wedding finger) but…….seeing as you were the star attraction in Chi town in May, one thinks you’re well able to handle yourself so a littuw kisss isn’t going to hurt anyone….so which option

    option A or option C

    Well – I’d prolly tend to option C, why? Becuase Amy is a funny gal, who was having a seriously boring evening shopping for Paper Towels and treats for her dog with the incredibly long quad-barrel name so yeah, anything to liven up the evening.

    Count your lucky stars it wasn’t two “Jake & Silent Bob” types……gawd only knows what they’d have asked you….I’m laughing my ass off at the dialogue that might have resulted had those two guys turned out to be of similar mindset to J & SB.

    Funny gal, waaay funny gal.

  20. Thanks Yodette !! 🙂 I must confess a lack of knowledge when it comes to paper towel product preferences … my mom bought me one of those super duper packages of about 8 million rolls a few years ago and I just ran out last week … unfortunately I couldn’t remember what brand it was that she had purchased for me back then … which is understandable … I only went through about 8 million rolls of them ! 🙂

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