If you would have told me
five three years ago,
That there would be moments,
Where I would be socializing,
Interacting with people,
And absolutely, kompletely forgetting My Function,
I imagine I would have said something like “I wish ! “
I can honestly say that particular wish has come true.
It’s really an incredibly great, kickbutt feeling.
Though the reason I know it’s an incredibly great, kickbutt feeling …
Is because at some point,
I’m always subsequently reminded of My Function .
Which usually makes me appreciate what an incredibly great, kickbutt feeling I had been experiencing,
Now don’t get me wrong,
It’s not like being reminded of My Function is necessarily a bad experience,
It’s not …
My Function and I are on really great terms with one another,
And neither of us are the least bit bothered or embarrassed by the other.
(Ahem, well, apparently it’s more accurate to simply state that I’m not the least bit bothered or embarrassed by My Function. My Function wants to speak for itself later. 🙂 )
That being reminded on My Function is totally different than experiencing gender dysphoria.
That latter, of course, being what one aims to dissipate by dealing with their Function in the first place.
And for me,
That was a complete success.
Gender Dysphoria BeGone – Apply directly to head. Gender Dysphoria BeGone – Apply directly to head. Gender Dysphoria BeGone – Apply directly to head.
Seriously, for those Viewers that have never had to deal with gender dysphoria, be glad … it sucks. And for those of you that have to deal with gender dysphoria, *hug* … I know how it sucks.
But back to the winding road leading to the point of this point …
In this particular instance,
I’m simply talking about being reminded of My Function,
In a very specific, extremely rare type of instance:
First, being reminded of My Function from a friend or friends;
Second, the friend or friends are aware of My Function; and,
Third, the friend or friends have absolutely no problem with My Function, meaning that in such situations I’m usually reminded of My Function indirectly and unintentionally from my friend or friends.
Yeah, I don’t blame ya, me too.
I’m still trying to sort out the experience myself,
Hence this post.
I’ll try to klarify:
Sometimes this whole sex change thing really feels incredibly Twilight Zone-ish,
Especially since I’ve transitioned and stayed around my hometown,
It’s as if I’ve went to a parallel universe where everything is the same,
Except I’m a girl.
Which is great,
Exactly what I wanted,
Phreaking really great ! 🙂
But at times …
Where the aforementioned elements are present,
I find myself experiencing what I call a My Place moment.
A sort of deja vu feeling,
Where I get caught off guard finding myself treated differently,
By people I wouldn’t expect to be treating me differently …
Solely because I’m a girl.
I’m put in “My Place”.
Now I’m not talking about inclusion or exclusion of group outings, events or anything like that,
I’m talking about interactions between people that in many ways is based on perceived societal placement,
Now as a woman,
I’m used to it in many ways,
And have no gripes about it …
It is what it is,
Just comes with the territory.
But in My Place moments,
It’s an utter mindphuck, hiccup.
Because for me,
From my perspective,
In those situations where I’m really comfortable around folks of past,
Nothing has really changed visually when I’m hanging out with them.
They appear the way they have always appeared.
And since I’m really not looking at myself,
I’m not visually aware of of my changes,
Making it easy for me to forget anything has changed,
Just be comfortable,
And lulling myself to a point where I expect to receive the same type of social respect, treatment …
I received before.
That is …
Until I’m put in My Place . 🙂
It’s usually nothing major by any means,
Sometimes it’s simply a guy talking to me like I don’t know what I’m talking about, doing the “Are you sure about that? ” thing that guys do to women all the time, implying we’re stupid. Something they don’t do to men;
Sometimes it’s overhearing a mean spirited, catty comment about me shot from another woman; and,
Sometimes it’s just being relegated to subservient tasks and omitted from tasks I would just have expected to be ask for assistance.
I’ll be the first to admit,
It always catches me off guard,
Sometimes feels like a cold slap in the face, and …
Occasionally hurts my feelings.
I think it’s a great thing to experience.
It’s reflective of complete acceptance,
At least on a subconscious level,
By the friend and friends.
It’s just that because I hung out in the parallel universe before …
I’m able to notice the difference in this one.
I’m definitely adding it to my list of things that I think are pretty kewl about having a Function.
Though just for the record,
It’s still not as great a thing as being able to drink all night on five bucks ! 🙂