One white footie
A Simon and Garfunkel Album
A cookie tin of 45’s – top one was The Carpenters – Rainy Days & Mondays
Gift in the glove compartment that was never able to be given
5 of Joe’s business cards
18 3-year old tablets of Vicodin (I flushed them down the toilet)
Sticky Note reminding me to “Get cigarettes and Beef Jerky” (Not for me, I’m thinking it was for Singer and Sister)
Three empty cans of Red Bull (Actually, I honestly think there’s a chance they were leftovers from a Sister and Miss Daisy outing where we went to some party just east of BFE)
Key chain in the shape of a small Florida license plate that says Amy
8 McDonald Monopoly tags
$3 in McDonald’s gift certificates
Garage door opener to Ex’s old house
House key to my old house
Room key to the place we stayed at 5 years ago during the golfing outing with my old college buddies
2002, 2003. 2004, 2005 Court Rules for my home state
2003, 2004, 2005 Criminal Statutes and Rules for my home state
2005 Court Rules for my home state – another copy
Playbill to Blue Man Group
1 Unused condom (Trojan – lubricated)
Receipt from Jake’s Pizza for a 14 inch mushroom, sausage and pepperoni thin crust pizza that Shaft ordered delivered to the hotel room the night of my FFS while he was taking care of me
Receipt for the room and golf package for Joe’s last golf outing with his old college buddies – arrival date was June 26, 2003
Printout of Joe’s last bowling sheet before my FFS – He rolled a 537.
Printout of the first bowling sheet when Joe bowled with the group after my FFS (November 19, 2003. Our series totals for the night were Singer: 349; Sister: 257; Miss Daisy: 435; Runner-Up: 431; Joe: 436. Please note for the record that I did have the team high series ! 🙂 )
5 Megamillion lottery tickets – all losers
An uncashed check made out to Joe for $750.00 (too late to cash it now)
Pictures from a GP gathering in Chicago
Program to my cousin Jet’s wedding
A brand new tube of mascara
A worthless tube of lipstick
Another sunglass case
And yet another sunglass case
Map of my home state
Map of my home county
Map of my second home county
Tire pressure gauge
Two old cell phones
Tube of emollient
Starbucks gift card – $10
A large Maxwell House coffee can full of change
A 2 liter Mountain Dew plastic bottle full of change
A 2 liter Coke plastic bottle full of change
5 umbrellas (Ahem … yeah, apparently Shaft was wise for putting me on Umbrella Probation – it does appear I never return a borrowed umbrella.)
4 containers of hand lotion in various stages of emptiness
Boy golf shoes
Girl golf shoes
Boy bowling shoes
Boy overnight bag (empty)
A pair of Joe’s navy Docker shorts
One of Joe’s old favorite ties
Tollway change stash stored in a small container in which I get my Chinese Chicken Noodle Soup
Abdomen sticky pads I had to wear under the girdle which I had to wear for an annoying number of weeks after my waistline liposuctiooooon
5 baseball caps
Always thin pantiliners
Notes for an opening statement
Parking garage card
9 travel coffee cups
4 different types of handsfree head/ear phones for various mobile phones
A golf ball mark from The Masters
A golf ball
A golf tee
A container of bandages
Car registrations and proofs of insurance for 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006
A Nautica floating key chain with nothing attached
An Olympus voice recording device
Approximately 1,806 blue, fine tipped pens
1 Westlaw labeled highlighter
A picture of all 5 of us from my old Wednesday night gang taken the first time we hung out as a group
And The Question is …
What did Amy find in the Grand Amy incarnation of the Amymobile before she turned it in upon the expiration of her lease?
We had been through a great deal together,
The Grand Amy and Me.
As reflected by its significant quantity of mileage.
It seems like just yesterday that I got her …
Before my FFS.
Before my BA,
Before my GRS.
I remember when I first got the Grand Amy …
How some commented,
“Nice car, Joe, but it kinda looks like a girl’s car.“
Just give it time, folks …
It’ll all make sense soon enough. 🙂
A lot of memories in that there car,
63,490 miles worth.
Last year I cleaned out my old house …
Disposing of all sorts of things of Joe.
Tons of stuff.
Inevitably I kept coming across items, momentos, that triggered all sorts of flashbacks of times past.
I had rented one of those big butt garbage dumpsters and things were either in the keep and move to some new digs pile,
Or I steeled the nerve to toss the remnants of Joe’s past in the dumpster.
(The exception being Joe’s clothes … most of those I distributed to friends, family or charity.)
The cleaning out process was brutally hard for me,
It was sort of like attending my own funeral,
As I came across so many keepsakes from life moments …
That made memories of a life past and gone seem so fresh and current.
I’d do good for a few hours of cleaning and then stumble across something that strained me.
Uber quantities of tears at times,
But it was a good cleansing,
Part of the moving on process.
I sorta thought cleaning out the Grand Amy was going to be hard on me like that,
As I stumbled across so much of what’s been going down in my life the past three years.
But it really wasn’t.
Instead it was kinda fun …
Not quite knowing what I’d find next as a reminder of what the Grand Amy and myself had been through together.
It took me a full morning emptying the Grand Amy and getting her in returnable condition.
I wanted her to look good as we parted ways, yo.
When I arrived at the dealer,
There was some mild confusion as why I was returning the car for Joe,
But it really wasn’t a problem …
He is unavailable you see,
And I’m sorta his gopher taking care of things like this from time to time. 😉
After signing all the paper work,
Mainly just initials really, not that much signing …
I went back outside to check on her one last time,
And removed the two items I had left in the Grand Amy,
That I was thinking would make it’s way to the new Amy Mobile:
Joe’s license plate that he had since 1984, and …
The picture of my old Wednesday night gang taken the first time we hung out as a group which I always have in the Amy Mobile in the passenger seat visor mirror.
The car return lease dude took my picture next to the Grand Amy, and …
I handed them the keys thereafter.
And that is how the end came for the last item of mine in Joe’s name.
Yet totally uneventful. 🙂