Is it April 9th Yet?
Since the beginning,
I’ve been fairly methodical in evaluating and implementing my transition …
(Whatever ! :P)
And when approaching something in the manner that I have,
I think sometimes you get overwhelmed by the mechanics of everything that needs to be accomplished …
And become engrossed in the details.
Unable to see the forest through the trees as a certain Jedi Master as found herself having to tell me repeatedly.
Even now,
I see no way I’m going to have everything done that I need to have done before April 9th …
There’s just too much to do.
But …
Lately,
For the first time …
Since I started all this …
Instead of utter fear, shear terror, overwhelming anguish, mindnumbing self evaluations, exhausting self re-evaluations, endless hurt and total numbness while lost in the all encompassing magnitude of what I’m doing …
I realized I was phreakin’ excited about my imminent fulltimeness !!
And when I say “phreakin’ excited” …
I mean “PHREAKIN’ EXCITED” !!!! 🙂
Sure, I know …
I’ve still got all this stuff to do,
All that has to get done first.
But that’s not stopping me from wishing …
It was April 9th !!
What an incredilble feeling !! 🙂
Editor’s Note: Seriously, if you think I’m annoyingly perky normally, you’d want to beat the livin’ krap out of me and my bouncy giddiness of late !! 🙂
LOL, right on! Your stunt double looks and acts pretty much just like you I’m sure so it can’t be that confusing. However you look at it though, I’m so glad your back near the top rung once more!
Congrats on the impending bumper upgrade too–I hope you’re going color keyed, chrome is so much more Droid than Jedi. 🙂
I get the feeling mentally you went full time a long time ago, so even when you were dressed as Joe, you were still Amy, just in a suit and tie.
Hey Yo Amy…
I kinda know you’re not M-D…but I just threw it in there to be difficult:-)
You’re such a sweetie to put clients first like that! I don’t know if I could do that for so long..but you’re a stronger woman then I am. I love the idea that BOWLING is one of the things keeping you from F/T. Love it! Such dedication!
Ok…enough razzing from moi…you’re doing a hellavajob…and don’t let anyone say otherwise!
Makenna
LOL Whatever !! 🙂 I’m very rarely ever in the dumpster !! 😛 Sure, I suffered from a few weeks of bummedoutness there recently … worse than my previous worse, which was about 3 – 4 weeks after my ffs … but generally speaking, I think I’ve maintained a decent level of moderation in my emotiooooons ! 🙂 From the other pre-transition journals that I’ve been able to follow, it doesn’t seem that uncommon to experience such shortly before going ft … I just viewed it as my own opportunity to mourn the death of Joe. Sure, I hate the sonofabitch, but still, I’ll miss him. I really don’t think it’s manic at all, that’s the one thing of which I’ve NEVER been accused !! I’m soooo going to kick your ass for that one !! 🙂 Though now I’m almost hesitant (but not hesitant enough) to post the summary of the other odd emotioooon that I was experiencing the past coupla weeks … you will have a field day with that one !! 🙂
Well … there are dynamics there as far as my time for fulltimeness that are really out of my control … I have a responsibility to some remaining clients … that’s just the reality of it. If it was earlier in the game on some cases, I could send them to other attorneys, but there are a few cases where my involvement is so extensive that I wouldn’t feel right doing it.
Yuhp … once with the boobs, it’s sorta hard to hide ’em. 🙂 I committed to finishing the season bowling as Joe … that ends on April 7, I’m getting my boobs on April 9, there’s really not much delaying there between the two. And I’m pushing things as hard as I can to get the clients I need to be a boy for taken care of before then. It’s the later obviously that’s delaying things … if I was all set to go ft but for the bowling, I’d have transitioned long before now, I feel much more uncomfortable being in front of The UnUsual Suspects playing Joe than I feel being around them as me … fortunately for me, they pretty much treat me as me regardless of what I’m looking like, which is beyond kewl … I personally like Singer’s reference to my appearances on Wednesday nights as being played by my “stunt double” !! lol 🙂 Besides, I think my stunt double showing up on Wednesdays is just as hard on them as it is on me … I think they’ll be just as glad as me when I’m not flip flopping. 🙂
Yea…boobs would be a bit much to try to hide while in boy mode. 🙂
But…she can go F/T sooner then that. Its just a matter of moving on.
Makenna
April 9th is 23 days away. If you’ll examine her countdown list of “Some Up-coming Events”, guess which one is 23 days away?
(Hint, no more “joe” mode when visiting mom and dad.)
Well, THATS good news.
Can I ask a silly question. What the heck more do you need to do?
Oh…yea…THROW OUT THE BOY CLOTHES.
Thats it. Done.
Everything else is incidental. Really.
BTW, you sound like a manic depressive personality. One week you’re in the dumps, the next week you’re fling high…
Makenna