A Few Good Tears

And then …

Moments after I posted the previous entry … I received a telephone call from my Sister-In-Law …

“Your Mom came over while Bro was talking to me about you. We asked her some questions and her answers seemed inconsistent with what you told Bro and it shook him up really bad. He broke down. He’s at your parents right now.”

“Thank you. I’ll call them right now. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m only concerned about Bro and Nephews.”

“Well, I’m concerned about all of you. Thanks for the info.”

So I call Dad … Yes, Bro is there. Yes, Dad thinks it is a good idea for me to come over. So … I re-boy, best I can … and leave.

And boy am I angry. I don’t know what the hell Mom could have said that I didn’t tell him, because I thought I had been totally forthright … in fact, I was more disclosing that I usually am with the Disclosure I gave him yesterday. But he’s my brother … he needed and deserved a thorough rundown. Honestly, he deserved it a helluva lot sooner than the week before my ffs.

Anyways.

Did I mention I was angry? Geezuz … was I ever angry. And my anger … was growing.

On a totally side note … I’ve always had a somewhat decent ability to speak my mind … and my skills for thinking on my feet and extemporaneously tossing out some jarring commentary are fairly strong … but honestly, since I’ve started HRT … my skills have improved multi-fold. I don’t know if it’s somehow the chick tabs interaction with and impact on the language skills centers in my brain or what … but wow … it totally rocks … and has given me even greater super powers when in comes to launching in or retaliating with verbal assaults … mmmmm … power !!!

So as I’m driving to my parents … my brain is in hyper drive … you don’t mess with my brother … and you don’t say things that will upset him to try to get to me … say whatever trash you’ve got, give it to me … but don’t mess with Bro. I’m very protective of my family … Shaft, Singer and Ex included … and messing with any of them is simply stupid … and least if you have any interest in surviving.

My phone rings and it’s Dad …

“Hello?” I answered, deciding only to speak in one work increments.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine.”

“We’re here waiting for you … everything is fine … the Old Man is involved now … so calm down.”

“Okay.”

Hmmmm … intervention by Dad … an effective tool for calming me down … and one that must be respected. Not just because he’s Dad … but because he’s earned it … proved it … over the years … he’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. Patience, creativity, persistence, bluntness, sensitivity, humor, intelligence … he’s the complete package.

If I was justified in being pissed … he would have told me … by telling me to calm down … hmmmmm, I’m obviously missing information.

So then it’s the chick krap of crying … which I do for a bit while I’m driving to my parents.

Yet another side note – Do you think they could finish summer road construction any time soon? I mean … yes, it’s the Great Lakes region … we have two seasons … winter and road construction. But do you think you could finish the roadwork to leave a few days available before winter commences? It totally bites. The normally 20 or so minutes it takes to get to my parents is now a good 40 minutes or longer. Hey, I have an idea … let’s reduce every 6 lane bypass through and around town to … oh, come on … let’s have some phun … we only need 1 lane going in each direction … OH !!!!! And get this … let’s do some Dr. O type reconstruction on the significant side streets at the same time … to eliminate them as possible reroutes … holy krap … seriously … if the downtown bypass wasn’t one-laned too … I would have considered making the drive to my parents via a trip to Lake Michigan !! Okay … bitching done. 🙂

So … I get to my parents. I walk into their condo … as I’m scoping the scene. Family meeting in the living room … Mom and Dad on sofa … Bro in one chair … and I take the rocker facing Mom and Dad with Bro to my left.

I look at Bro, sideways glace at Mom and focus on Dad.

Dad starts by saying that everything is fine, there has been some healthy open talk amongst all. Bro clarifies that it wasn’t so much that I had left stuff out when I told him, but that Mom had just supplied a couple of details … two specifically, that upon hearing … brought the reality of this home. One … that I had a girl’s name. And two, that as a result of these changes … one of my options may be to move away. As he was saying that … he broke down again and started crying. He walked away … while I cried where I was. He came back .. apologized … said he didn’t want me to have to see that … and that it wasn’t about anything related to what I told him … it wasn’t about my issue … it was that he doesn’t want me to leave.

“I cried when you left for college, and I’m crying now just like that … I don’t want you to leave.”

I acknowledged that this hits everyone hard at some point … it hit Shaft, Singer, Mom, Dad, Ex … and now Bro. And I got defensive for my Brother, protecting him … reiterating there was nothing wrong with this hitting him. Hitting him hard. And it just shows he cares for me … as I do him.

I then clarified that I am currently trying not to leave. And that with his and everyone else’s love and support, I have no reason to leave.

We talked some more, openly … cried some, but it was good. Dad was moderating the discussion … and did an effective job. Dad said how he was pleased how it turned out … that he didn’t think on Thursday of last week that it’d go this well … and he was happy … and proud of us. “Did I mentioned happy?”

I walked Bro out to his car. We shook hands and hugged. Things were good. He loves me … I love him. It’ll always be that way.

I went back into say goodbye to Mom and Dad. They were good … it was a healthy event … and Dad was pleased Bro got his feelings out. Dad was worried Bro would bottle them up inside. And that it was good to have the discussion.

They asked how I was doing.

I didn’t answer. I was physically and emotionally drained.

“Are you okay?” I was asked again.

“No, I’m not. But I will be.”

So I leave. Initiate the trek back home. Stopping at McDonald’s along the way to acquire Two Big Macs, a McChicken Sandwich, a Filet o’ Fish and a Supersized Fry.

And upon finally making it home … my phone rings. It’s Dad. Checking in on me to make sure I’m okay. 🙂

Wow ! My family is great.

Of course, I already knew that. Which is why I’m so protective of them. 🙂