On one of the boards
On one of the boards I frequent …. a girl nicely stated somewhat the conumdrum in which I am finding myself …. what is the purpose of the real life experience (RLE)/transitioning fulltime to the female role?
Is it the culmination of transition or a step along the way. Is it to fully acclimitize you and make you fully emotionally female and able to socialize and live in the female role naturally and thoughtlessly. Or is it to put you in the position long enough to figure out if you’re making a mistake or not.
I think I sort of consider it the later more than the former…… but that might be fooling myself ….. seems like everything I’ve done along this way I’ve done with the thought that it would prove me wrong … that I was making a mistake ….. or maybe it’s better said with the hope that it would prove me wrong …. that I was making a mistake …. that my transsexualism was not so severe that I could improve me quality of life by acclimating to a more female role/female hormone level/female body …….. but every step along the way ….. my quality of life as improved as I’ve moved along this path ….. so seriously …. I suppose telling myself that I am approaching transition as a way to figure out if I’m making a mistake or not …. though nice to say to myself in sort of a denial way ….. is not reality ….. reality is …… that transition would be my serious step to allowing me the opportunity to socialize and live in the female role …. so such an extent that it would be natural, thoughtless, and second nature.
Makes complete sense ….. still doesn’t mean I’ll approach it that way …. it is me still after all !!