Open Wide
I have had an incredibly jam packed week of activity.
In fact,
So much action, between work and social, that on Wednesday night,
The answer to the always disturbing question …
“It’s Wednesday night, do you know where your Amy is?”
Was a very boring …
“At home, sleeping in her recliner while replaying 6 hours of CSI on her TiVo that she hadn’t yet been able to watch.”
It was much needed sleep,
But Thursday morning I was once again busting my butt …
Until around 3:00 pm …
When I remembered I had to go to the dentist at 6:00 pm.
Which is totally kewl,
‘Cause I love going to the dentist.
I have the world’s best dentist,
And working with him are the world’s best dental staff.
I was like my dentist’s third patient ever when he first started practicing …
I’ve been going to him for something around 26 years.
When I was in high school …
And wanted to be a dentist,
He even took me to Ann Arbor to attend a career day event at the U of M Dental School. (Unfortunately for me, dentists need very good color vision. Something I didn’t realize at the time and definitely lack.)
His wife is a sweetie,
Worked in the office there in the early days …
Stopped when they started their family,
But has now returned since all the kids are out of the house.
Both of the hygenists I know …
Though haven’t quite figured out,
They look like they did when they just started …
All young and kute and krap,
You’d think they would age in the 10 plus years they’ve worked there …
But they haven’t.
I suspect they’re Stepford hygenists.
Anyways …
It dawned on me that this was going to be the first time they saw me as Amy-Wan Kenobi.
“Hmmmm … maybe I should give Dr. Braces a call and warn him first.”
Seems like it’d be the neighborly thing to do.
It’d at least be …
Courteous.
So I picked up the phone and called the office …
“Is Dr. Braces available to take a phone call? This is Joe Hairdy, one of his patients.”
“I’m sorry, he’s with a patient right now. Would you like me to give him a message?”
“Yes, if you could, I’d like to speak with him before my 6:00 pm appointment, so if he could call me before then, I’d really appreciate it.”
“I’m sure he’ll have some time to call you. See you tonight Joe.”
“Bye.”
Well, I thought, hopefully he’ll call me back in time.
And he did.
Our phone conversation was incredibly short …
And to the point.
“Hi Joe. What can I do for you?”
“Hi Doctor. Well, I just wanted to call and give you a heads up. I’m coming in for a check-up tonight at 6:00 pm and wanted to warn you before I showed up that I’m living as a woman now and I’ll be looking considerably different than the last time you saw me.”
“Oh …”
“I hope it’s okay that I’d like to keep you as my dentist?”
“Of course it is, we’ll see you at 6:00 pm”
“See you then, thanks.”
And that was that …
Direct, to the point, but accomplishing its sole purpose …
Inform.
Anyways …
I meandered my way into his offices a few minutes before 6:00 pm.
The receptionist was someone who I didn’t remember ever meeting before …
But when I said …
“I’m here for my 6:00 pm appointment with Dr. Braces”
And she didn’t bat an eye,
I concluded right away that Dr. Braces had passed the information along to the rest of the staff so there wouldn’t be any confusion.
Kewl ! 🙂
Dr. Braces’ wife was sitting at her desk behind the receptionist and she looked at me and smiled …
Which is more than I need to start talking with someone !!
“Hi !!” I blurted out.
“You look so good !” She said right away, with a big smile on her face.
So we talked for a bit about how her schedule is sort of messed up right now since she’s going in for some foot surgery today and just other miscellaneous whatevers …
Not really mentioning my function specifically.
Eventually I found myself seated in the lobby …
Waiting.
Finally my hygenist Karen came for me …
And before I had even settled down in the dental chair she said …
“It’s just not fair, you look great !”
“Thanks. I guess you know the answer now to what I did over summer break ??”
LOL “No kidding ! That was nice that you gave Dr. Braces a call first, he’s getting on up there in years, we don’t want to give him a heart attack or anything !”
“Yeah, I figured if I didn’t get a hold of him before I came, I’d just knock on your window and have you sneak me in somehow.”
Dr. Braces came in at about this point and welcomed me …
Totally kewl …
Then said,
“Well, you certainly caught us by surprise with the phone call, so we haven’t had time to update your charts or anything, I’m sorry about that. But we’ll do that while you’re here … what name should we use for your charts now and I presume you want us to change the documentation in your file to reflect Female now, correct?”
Sa-weet … so, so easy.
I gave him my new name and answered yes on the gender marker questioooooon …
And then laid back in the chair while Karen went to work on my teeth …
Dr. Braces showed up a bit later to do his inspection.
Lots of easy, comfortable talk with both of them …
Well, as easy and comfortable as it can be with you’ve got someone’s hands stuffed in your mouth.
Most questions they had were all work related …
How things were going for me in my job,
And everyone wanted to know how my mom and dad were doing with things.
Which only makes sense because everyone there knows my mom and dad ! 🙂
I like to think pretty I’m easy to talk to …
And it sure seemed like everyone there was quickly at ease with the turn of events and my little late-afternoon/early-evening surprise.
So much so …
That when Dr. Braces said I was all set to leave,
I ended up having a really fun conversation afterwards with Dr. Braces’ wife, Karen, and the other hygenist …
As collectively they tried to decide who I looked like now …
My mom or my dad. (Consensus was my mom, but most people have always said I looked more like my mom, even before my whole sex change thing. :))
Oh yeah, and I also got the Amy Most Frequently Asked Question –
Is that your real hair?
Anyways …
I handle every such encounter with those from my past a little differently,
And I’ve had more than a few …
Sticking it out around here has certainly required me to out myself to a lot of anxillary people from my past,
Banker, docter, pharmacist, insurance agent, broker, blah, blah, blah …
Sometimes I just show up,
Other times I give ample advance notice,
But this time …
The short notice heads up seemed to work just fine.
Though for the first time in a long time …
As I was sitting there in the lobby,
Waiting to be taken back for my check-up …
I felt a bit anxious.
I’m not sure what generated that feeling …
And it had been so long since I felt the likes of it as part of my transition,
That it sort of caught me off guard,
And eeked out of me a mental …
“Well that’s interesting.”
In fact,
That little feeling there is why I’m even publishing this post …
Just so that everyone knows,
Especially other t-chicas like me …
That even moderately well-adjusted, somewhat outgoing, cautiously flirtatious girls like me …
Still get nervous from time to time.
It’s okay …
Expected,
And there’s nothing wrong with it !
So if you’re just starting to come to terms with your t-ism,
Or getting to the point of pushing yourself to the next level …
Don’t belittle yourself for being nervous,
Everyone is from time to time. 🙂
Oh yeah,
And the other reason I’m publishing this post is because …
I wanted to brag about the fact that …
I didn’t have any cavities !! 🙂
Remember that there is always the Shaft method to second-hand, pre-authorized disclosure, “Joe is a chick now. Cool?”
Amy,
Dentists can always be one of those scary places to go, but once again you have gone boldly where no Amy-Wan has gone before. Wow! Now,why did you send the bad tooth gremlins down here since the last visit to the dentist produced my first cavaty in my life, geez 🙂
Amy-Wan,
I had a similar experience with my hairdresser.
First the backstory:
I started getting my hair permed at home at around age 17. I have extremely fine hair, and it was the only way I could have any body. At first it was done at home, then, when I could afford it at age 21, it was done professionally. It was a wonderful/terrifying thing to go into a hair salon the first time. It felt so right, but as we all feel from time to time, because of how we have to live for so long, I felt out of place. The place: Edie Adams Cut & Curl. I had my hair permed by Marlene. She became my regular girl there, and I even moved to her next three salons. By that time I had been her client for 10 years.
So, The Rest Of The Story:
I had to tell her that I had something to tell her, and I had to know if I could still come and have her as my stylist. I was nervous! I had told others before, but she was a special part of my life, she did my hair! But, she never had a problem with it, and neither did the wonderful owner of the shop. That was 16 years ago, and now she’s doing my color, at yet another shop. Marlene has been cool all the way, never missed a pronoun, never missed the new name.
I did change one other thing after I told her about my ‘function’. I stopped getting a perm about five years ago, and changed my hairstyle to match Agent Scully’s from the X-files, shorter and redhead. The look is great, and I still have all the fun of being pampered every six weeks!
Amy-Wan,you tell a great story, as usual!
Scotch? They try to tell me scotch is flavored with long moldering peat. By the taste I think it’s long moldering Pete.
I agree Other Laura !! 🙂 I also try to take these new disclosures as an opportunity to be a positive example for those of us dealing with GID.
Amy,
I just went through almost an identical scenario with my dentist, and I informed them just like you did. And they were cool- called me Laura everytime, never slipped once, and were just as nice as they could be.
Once I was past disclosures to family and partners, the rest have been very easy. I just tell my story matter of fact-ly, (?) without embarrassment and they can take it or leave it. I only tell when there is no choice, but it doesn’t bother me to disclose anymore. I agree, alot of times, it’s just a nuisance, and I just don’t want to have to deal with the whole issue. But once I do, and feel like I’ve maybe done a little educating and ambassadoring for GID people, it’s ok.
Hmmm … I thought they were called Scots, but I guess if you can find a small enough one, you can shoot any 12 year old through your nose !! *snicker*
Ya know … I just can’t do the scotch thang … whiskey I can handle with nary a blink of the eye, I can even do a shot or two of tequilla before blacking out … but scotch … that’s like a seriously acquired taste.
Awwwwwww thanks Joanna !! 🙂
Superheroinesqueish … goodness no, I’m just a Jedi !! 🙂
The more disclosures I did, the more “courageous” I became !! Trust me … I was a nervous wreck telling Mom, Dad, Bro, Shaft, Singer, Hottie, and Sister.
And once I honestly got over any embarassment I had felt about being ts, the Disclosures became much, much easier.
Now it’s really no big deal for me, it’s mainly just an annoyance in most ways … ’cause I feeling like I’m outing myself whenever I’m Disclosing … but sometimes it’s just the right thing to do.
Though Disclosing comfort is completely different from my just going out and about comfort …
Any confidence, boldness or stupidity I have in that respect rests substantially with Singer, Hottie, Sister and Miss Daisy … back in the days when I was hanging out with them regularly … well, they created a monster !! lol 🙂
That’s a problem, all tight….Maybe you should be drinking less milk….in any case, men would find you even more attractive if you could shoot 12-year-old scotch out of your schnozz…..
Laura
Laura !! 🙂
How many times have I told you not to make me laugh when I’m drinking …
“somewhat skanky” !!!! LOL
Milk shot out my nose all over the place !!
“cautiously flirtatious” = understatement of the year….that’s almost as bad as “somewhat skanky”…..
Laura
Ya know, as I was reading this entry, I was asking myself, “Gee, does this chica ever get nervous about her disclosures and peoples reactions?”. In fact, I was going to ask that question at the end, because it is one of the things that scares the poop out of me.
But you did address it and thanks. Reading your blog encourages me in so many ways, but I have to admit, it’s your unflinching courage that amazes me. It seems almost superheroinesqueish, and as I have expanded my boundries, my nervousness sometimes wins over my need to be me.