Movie Review – Bad Santa

Oddness.

No … I’m not talking about the movie … I’m talking about the sense one feels when they see their ex-wife on a date at the same theatre you’re going to check out a movie yourself … of course, I was sans a date (and the liner lines on my face from earlier in the day, thank gawd). They didn’t see me, which was fine with me … but afterwards, I found out they went to see Love Actually, which Ex gave a resounding Thumbs Up. Anyways … for a few seconds there … it was oddness.

As for my movie … Bad Santa … I started with the usual … popcorn and frozen Mountain Dew. But the theatre I go to has started this new thing where you get your popcorn at the concession stand … but then have to go to this fake butter center to put the liquid butter product on your popcorn yourself. Something which I’m totally not crazy about. What’s the deal? Making more work for me … on something you’re charging me $4.00 for that isn’t the size of a first grader’s lunch bag … good thing they have free refills !! Anyways … being a lazy butt, I skipped the butter product. And I don’t know what the story was with the frozen Mountain Dew machine, but it must have gotten laid the night before, because it was in a fine mood and produced one of frozen-est, tasty MDs I’ve ever had there. Well done.

Anyways, there weren’t that many people at the movie … it was a mid/late-afternoon showing and apparently most people were at the mall … except of cource, my ex-wife and her date … meaning, even though I got there in time for only a couple of previews, I had a choice seat. The one thing I did notice that was really sort of odd was that … there were several people who appeared to be attending the movie solo … as I was, but I appeared to be the only girl that was by myself … scanning the seats occupied with solitary individuals, yuhp, they were all guys … and seriously, though I never judge a book by its cover … most of them unnerved me … I’m mean, it’s not normal for one to watch a movie with one’s hand down their pants, right? I’m like thinking … “Dude, I hope you’re not going to eat your popcorn with that hand !!” Oh well, not my issue.

Now the movie itself has been categorized as a “dark comedy”. Which usually means I’m not going to get half the jokes, because “dark comedy” means “intellectual comedy” … and let’s just be out front with it kids … I’m not an intellectual … I’m not stupid, but I’m not an intellectual. I’ve already killed the brain cells formerly residing in that part of my brain that would have possibly been capable of ascertaining the meanings in various scenes … I simply need in your face type humor. But …. the previews seemed to suggest there was a comfortable dose of tastelessness and slapslick in the flick … which is totally up my alley. So feeling completely at ease with myself, and sporting my new eyebrows, I decided to give it a run.

The movie stars Billy Bob Thornton. And other than having the name of probably half the drivers in Nascar … I really have no strong feelings for him as an actor, one way or the other. And after viewing the movie, I really have no strong feelings for him as an actor, one way or the other. He did okay … played the role well enough for me to suspend disbelief. But honestly, as much as it pains me to say … I would have preferred Johnny Depp playing the role … Depp can double act … act drunk and act on top of that (reference Pirates of The Carabiean). Billy Bob just seemed to be capable of acting drunk and conveying a dash of emotion on top of that. But Billy Bob did what was needed, and he was surrounded by a nice ensemble cast.

Tony Cox was the mastermind of the thieving scheme employed in the movie and does a really nice job playing Santa’s elf. Brett Kelly is fun as the kid that eventually tugs on the heart of Billy Bob. Lauren Graham is a great Mrs. Claus’ Sister that Santa is banging … she brings a dash of niceness to the movie. I thought I’d feel strange seeing John Ritter in a movie after his death … but I’m telling ya … Ritter rocked. I’m so going to miss his acting and comedy. And Bernie Mac … likewise … did a very nice job. It was a fun view watching the various cast work their magic.

As expected, I didn’t get half the comedic attempts … of course, since I didn’t get them, I can only guess that half passed right over me …though from the happy tones emanating from the more cerebral in the theatre … I think there were plenty of moments of amusement.

And likewise … there were more than a couple of really funny, tasteless lines … and one slapstick scene in particular … had me and those dudes with a hand down their pants laughing with passion … well, at least I know I was laughing with passion, I’m not quite sure what they were doing with passion.

Of course, it was a holiday movie … so it’s ending … had some seriously significant holes … even by my lenient standards, but holiday movies get such leniency … because there has to be a happy, touchy holiday ending. And there was here … in an amusing, dark sorta way.

Now the antics of Billy Bob while being drunk the first two dozen times were funny… sex, rudeness, and peeing on himself … but eventually … they got old. There are a lot of funny things that one can do while drunk … they had a wealth of material, I wish they would have expanded some on the jokes … but that’s really the only negative. Otherwise, it was an enjoyable 93 minutes.

So … in summary … if you like dark comedies, I suspect you’ll enjoy the movie and recommend that you see the flick … it’s evening show, full-price worthy. Now if you’re like me, and tend to just enjoy tasteless jokes and slapstick comedy … there’s probably enough in the flick such that you’ll enjoy it, but suggest that you go with a matinee viewing … and of course, it’s certainly rental and pay-per-view worthy. If you like both dark comedies and tasteless jokes with slapstick comedy … I think you’ll really enjoy it. Unless, of course, you’re just a Scrooge. 🙂 Final rating … 6 out of 10.