Disclosure – Hottie

Let’s see … How do I start out?

I already showed you the e-mail I sent him asking for some of his time …

And I didn’t receive a response from him until 3:00 am the next mworning … oddly enough … he was getting home about the same time I was waking up for work … hmmmm, now which one of us has a life? 🙂

His e-mail response was totally kewl …he thanked for me stating it wasn’t anything fatal, confirmed that if it was the gay thing, he’d be fine with that. Said that he had a pretty packed schedule until next Wednesday, but that he’d have some time Friday afternoon or Sunday afternoon during the games. So I called him late Friday morning (assuming the poor boy slept in some) and played phone tag with him for a bit. After a few phone calls, we agreed to meet at a bar near where we live at 3:00 pm (we live about 1 1/2 miles from one another.)

So I got there about 2:50 pm and he was already there. I walked in and he had just finished ordering himself some lunch at the bar, a cheeseburger and chips along with a Coke. We shook hands and he pointed to a rather safe table for talking with some privacy. As we both knew that something somewhat mind-blowing was going to be shared, I offered with a smirk to buy him a beer and a shot of tequina right up front … he declined with a laugh.

Again … a few mild pleasantries were exchanged … and then Hottie says …

“Okay dude, the forum is yours.”

And hey … like I’m one not to take the floor when it’s offered ?? So I start with …

STOP !!!!!!

Wait … before I get going on that … how about a little Hottie background? As we know, Singer is his best friend and Singer and Hottie have known one another much longer than I’ve known either. I met Hottie through Singer. Hottie and Singer’s husband are also childhood friends, which is how Hottie met Singer. Despite the pedestal that Hottie and I both keep Singer perched upon, she has done an amazing job of making each of us feel special and we’ve actually become friends. He’s sort of a quiet guy in many ways … not loud or boisterous … but not afraid to take the mic for kareoke or make announcements over the p.a. … he’s incredibly competitive, not hesitant in the least to speak his mind, athletic and physically fit … he has a sharp wit, in the same league as Singer’s (I’m not in either of their leagues in that respect) … he has a more superior command of 80’s trivia than even I … and is quick to laugh. He’s a very private person. I’ve known him for 6 years and know little of his personal life, Singer I’m sure knows the scoop, but he doesn’t talk about himself much … as I don’t. He’s also an incredibly nice guy and word on the street has him with about a 50% approval rating in the sack (it’s only a sample of 2, one woman thinks he’s the greatest lay ever, the other said he wasn’t worth it). He’s also a great listener which is what I expected him to do when I started talking … listen first, talk later if so interested.

CONTINUE …

I excused myself to get a club soda (I’ve maintained a non-alcohol approach when tendering my Disclosures) and returned to our table as the waitress was delivering his late lunch.

“Ready?”

Head nod … yuhp … along with a smile.

So I start the speech …

This one I opened with what I call my Qualifiers Intro …

I start with something along the lines of

“This isn’t something easy for me to talk about and I haven’t shared it with many people. So the fact that I’m sharing something so personal about me to you shows you how much I value your friendship and trust you. I appreciate your friendship and apologize in advance for the burden I’m about to place upon you.”

(I really don’t think it’s much of a burden, but it just makes people listen a little closer because then they think they might have some responsibility cropping up. The friend intro also just personalizes it a bit more.)

Then I say …

“Now what I’m about to explain will include some terms and words with very specific definitions and small distinctions between one another. I’m not going to be picky over those small differences today. Right now, I’m only going to talk in generalities here. It makes much more sense that way and is just much easier for me.”

(I say this to negate future issues for those that check things out and start arguing with me over definitions.)

“I suffer from a condition referred to as Gender Identity Disorder, a condition often associated with Transsexualism, and a condition which sometimes leads those afflicted to seek a Sex Change Operation.”

I then mentioned how I think it’s an accurate diagnosis with me, what I’ve done in evaluating it, and what I’m doing in the future …

Just the basic blah, blah, blah.

He played poker face the entire time. Hand on chin, covering mouth, to disguise and hide involuntary reactions.

He was cool throughout …

Said he was shocked and surprised …

Would need some time to process it.

But that if I feel the need to talk to anyone … he’s always available.

He apologized in advance if he makes attempts to be funny that I may take wrong …

“It’s my way of handling uncomfortable situations … I don’t mean to be rude or make light of what you are going through.”

My response …

“No problem dude, we’re all still the same and we’ve never held back juicy taunts at one another in the past … I figure I just gave you guys a bunch of new material … besides … if I can handle the shocking funny comments from Shaft, the biting funny comments from Singer, I can certainly handle the creative funny comments from you. Besides … I’ll toss right back at ya.”

I prompted him for questions a few times … maybe making it appear that I wanted him to ask questions … when that really wasn’t the purpose of the multiple prompts. I’ve found that I have to offer a few times before some work up the nerve to ask questions. And I’ve found that offering a few times seems to make it easier for them to initiate follow up later.

Anyways … he did ask questions immediately though.

What have you done so far? Are you sure you are ready to do the facial feminization surgery? When did you first feel this way? Who knows? What are you going to do about your firm?

He asked a really good question that no one had asked me before … but right now … I can’t remember what it was. Jeepers.

He inquired when did I decide to proceed with some of these actions … what had been my timeline?

I gave him the time line … when I got divorce, I decided to address it … then about 3 years ago … I began to seriously address my transsexualism … about a year ago I decided that I was going to evaluate the transition option seriously … I didn’t have much baggage and I was still single … it was now or never at this point …

I also tried to get a read if Singer had told him the scoop earlier.

I couldn’t get a read at all … I told him that I always figured she might, that I wouldn’t have a problem with it if she did, and that if she had, it would have been for entirely good meaning intentions as I totally trust her judgment … he didn’t move his hand from his mouth the entire time during this verbage of mine … and he never denied that she told him either.

He told me not to worry about what others might think of him for having a TS friend …

Someone played some Aerosmith on the jukebox … and he said …

“I’d have died if that would of been Dude Looks Like A Lady.” lol

And he was totally surprised when I told him he has seen me. Of course, he didn’t realize it at the time. I told him that it was no surprise that he didn’t notice because as he was passing by me, I don’t think he took his eyes off my tits.

“PENALTY !! Geezuz dude, you gotta ease me into that stuff !! You will toss it right back at us, won’t you !! Fifteen yards, personal foul,” he said with a laugh while making the motions of tossing a yellow flag and the referee’s T hand gesture signifying a personal foul call in football.

“I think I need that shot now,” he continued. 🙂

We talked a bit more … nothing substantial. Totally cool. He offered again to be someone to talk to … threatened bodily harm to me if I ever considered the Option 4 scenario … and we got up to leave. As we were leaving I noticed … he had taken only 1 bite out of his cheeseburger.

We shook hands in the parking lot and bid farewell. Total time … 1 hour and 40 minues … give or take a few. 🙂

All in all … it went as well as could be expected … you never really know though … but I give it a cool thumbs up … mainly because we were able to make our typical jokes back and forth … this time about it … within moments of Disclosure. He was kind, didn’t appear to be judgmental and made me feel totally at ease in discussing this with him. Someday … someone … will be a really lucky lady when she lands him.

And I don’t mean me.

Though seriously, he needs both Singer and I around to protect him from himself … as he’s shown an amazingly questionable taste in women. Just kidding ! 🙂