{"id":995,"date":"2004-06-15T13:54:17","date_gmt":"2004-06-15T18:54:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=985"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:38:48","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:38:48","slug":"nice-car","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2004\/06\/nice-car\/","title":{"rendered":"Nice Car"},"content":{"rendered":"

So I had to borrow Shaft’s new car today (you know, his new mid-life penis<\/a>) for a trip to a foreign court …<\/p>\n

Why you ask ??<\/p>\n

Why couldn’t I drive my own car ??<\/p>\n

Well, for a reason that could only happen to one named Amy-wan Kenobi !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Interested?<\/p>\n

Then …
\n
\nSo a few weeks ago …<\/p>\n

I was doing what I seem to be doing on an alternating weekend schedule of sorts lately …<\/p>\n

Making my way to Chicago.<\/p>\n

And this time … on way way out of town, I decided to swing by my parents and say ‘hola<\/i>‘ …<\/p>\n

Which I did.<\/p>\n

But by doing so, in order for me to connect with the interstate I needed to use to get to I-94 …<\/p>\n

I was going to have to use some back roads for a bit.<\/p>\n

So there I was …<\/p>\n

Gorgeous sunny day …<\/p>\n

Sunroof open …<\/p>\n

Satellite radio booming …<\/p>\n

Singing along …<\/p>\n

Cutting across some backroads,<\/p>\n

Enjoying the jaunt …<\/p>\n

Despite having to stop every 5 miles at nameless tiny little towns that couldn’t afford a stop light, but did spring for the stop sign.<\/p>\n

No biggie …<\/p>\n

It was nice out. \ud83d\ude42
\n_________________________________________________<\/p>\n

QUICK FLASHBACK TO THE DAY BEFORE – As Joe Hairdy, for my last appointment of the day, I met with an employee of one of our corporate clients who I had been retained to represent in a little misdemeanor situatioooon.
\n_________________________________________________<\/p>\n

I slow to a stop at yet another stop sign,<\/p>\n

In another nameless tiny town.<\/p>\n

Where a big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle, also at the stop sign and immediately to my right, starts to pull into the intersection commencing a left hand turn.<\/p>\n

I’m bopping my head to a good tune, probably either No Doubt or ABBA. (Though I am working on a rendition of Crazy for You, so it might have been that too, I do this really kewl, orgasmic sort of breathy bit when I’m singing the lyrics … ev er y brea th you taaaaaake<\/i>.)<\/p>\n

When I notice the company insignia on the side of the big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle now in front of me turning in my direction.<\/p>\n

“Hey, that’s one of the big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicles from the corporate client whose employee I met with yesterday,<\/i>” I thought.<\/p>\n

What are the odds of that?<\/p>\n

Anyways, mid turn the big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle seemed to stop …<\/p>\n

Not progressing any further.<\/p>\n

“Hmmmm, what’s up ?<\/i>” I wondered.<\/p>\n

Oh, it appears that the driver of the big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle wasn’t going to be able to make the turn unless I backed up …<\/p>\n

So I looked up to the driver big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle, yes, he was sitting really high up, and …<\/p>\n

First noticed that his gaze seemed directed at an angle which would suggest the focus of his eye contact was slightly below my neck level …<\/p>\n

Then immediately noticed that the face surrounding the eyes that seemed to be focused on my fake boobage belonged to the same person I had met with the day before.<\/p>\n

Meaning, that the odds that on the back roads of the western side of my home state when spontaneously taking a short cut from my parent’s house to the interstate I’d run into a corporate client’s big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle being driven by a person I had just met the day before who would need to get my attention to back up so he could complete a turn …<\/p>\n

Were pretty phreaking good !!<\/p>\n

YIKES !!!!!!<\/p>\n

Now …<\/p>\n

I have no idea if he connected the dots or not …<\/p>\n

But I can say, he had a real good look from his elevated position in the big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle of …<\/p>\n

Both my fake boobage and my smiley face !<\/p>\n

Yes, there did seem to be a bit of recognition in his eyes,<\/p>\n

But it also might have just been the silly grin guys sometime do when they themselves get caught looking where they really shouldn’t be looking.<\/p>\n

Anyways …<\/p>\n

I had to meet him at a foreign court today …<\/p>\n

And didn’t want to take the chance that in case he was sorta, kinda wondering …<\/p>\n

He’d see my car with me driving it and have his curiousity answered.<\/p>\n

Now granted, that was probably above the top paranoia on my part …<\/p>\n

Seriously, like what are the odds that a client would follow me to my car after court so he could actually see what I was indeed driving?<\/p>\n

But hey … better safe than sorry,<\/p>\n

Right?<\/p>\n

Anyways, it was a really fun experience driving Shaft’s new car …<\/p>\n

It’s the tiniest little vehicle I’ve ever driven,<\/p>\n

Similiar to a Ford Festiva …<\/p>\n

Except it has a really big engine.<\/p>\n

Oh yeah,<\/p>\n

And in case you’re wondering …<\/p>\n

The odds that a client would follow me to my car after court so he could actually see what I was indeed driving and<\/u> the odds that on the back roads of the western side of my home state when spontaneously taking a short cut from my parent’s house to the interstate I’d run into a corporate client’s big-ass commercial truck sort of vehicle being driven by a person I had just met the day before who would need to get my attention to back up so he could complete a turn …<\/p>\n

Are exactly the same.<\/p>\n

Yuhp, he followed me back to my car.<\/p>\n

Whether it was coincidence or not …<\/p>\n

Is hard to say,<\/p>\n

There was no other indication that he had made any major realization,<\/p>\n

Though he did comment that I had a nice car.<\/p>\n

To which one he was referring …<\/p>\n

I have no idea !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

So I had to borrow Shaft’s new car today (you know, his new mid-life penis) for a trip to a foreign court … Why you ask ?? Why couldn’t I drive my own car ?? Well, for a reason that could only happen to one named Amy-wan Kenobi !! \ud83d\ude42 Interested? Then …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":13,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/995"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=995"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/995\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=995"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=995"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=995"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}