POUR SOME SUGAR ON MEEEEEEEE !!!<\/p>\n
Woooo hoooo !!! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
I finally figured out what the dork was causing my exceptionally despondent mood recently …<\/p>\n
And figuring it out has made me feel soooo much better ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
It’s been a struggle for me recently …<\/p>\n
Falling so many rungs so quickly …<\/p>\n
And just not being able to climb back up with any confidence.<\/p>\n
Despite efforts by Singer, Shaft, Hottie and others in my real life …<\/p>\n
I was getting nowhere,<\/p>\n
Fast.<\/p>\n
In fact, by last night …<\/p>\n
I was down another rung …<\/p>\n
Again.<\/p>\n
Hanging out around number 3.<\/p>\n
Mainly because for some reason …<\/p>\n
I was shutting people out.<\/p>\n
I was totally withdrawing …<\/p>\n
Talking with people just seemed to make me hurt all the more.<\/p>\n
But this morning, as I was on the road …<\/p>\n
Something Singer said to me yesterday while she was trying to help …<\/p>\n
Combined with something Shaft said last night when he was trying to help …<\/p>\n
And went off with a flash …<\/p>\n
Giving me the answer.
\n
\nI hate<\/i> Joe Hairdy.<\/p>\n
Yeah, I know, I know …<\/p>\n
Hate is a pretty strong word,<\/p>\n
To be used cautiously.<\/p>\n
But I hate the phucking bastard.<\/p>\n
And what’s worse …<\/p>\n
Is the reason why I hate him.<\/p>\n
It’s born of pure jealously.<\/p>\n
It’s all about Joe.<\/p>\n
In the last several weeks,<\/p>\n
It seems as if I’ve be innundated with people expressing …<\/p>\n
Mourning for Joe,<\/p>\n
Longing for Joe,<\/p>\n
Anticipated missing of Joe,<\/p>\n
Fun time memories of Joe.<\/p>\n
Seeing Joe whenever they look at me,<\/p>\n
Me always being Joe,<\/p>\n
And then if that’s not enough …<\/p>\n
I was getting hit with occasional knocks to Joe.<\/p>\n
I was taking it from all directions.<\/p>\n
And totally innocently too,<\/p>\n
No one saying anything meant to hurt my feelings …<\/p>\n
And not just one person said it …<\/p>\n
Each and every statement that started wearing on me was said multiple times by multiple parties.<\/p>\n
Joe is this great guy.<\/p>\n
And everyone was going to miss him,<\/p>\n
While no one really gave a rip about me.<\/p>\n
It totally blew.<\/p>\n
I became jealous of him.<\/p>\n
I wanted the friendships Joe had.<\/p>\n
I wanted the associations Joe experienced.<\/p>\n
I wanted the memories Joe created.<\/p>\n
I was jealous that people liked him,<\/p>\n
I wanted what he had,<\/p>\n
It was all about Joe.<\/p>\n
And being with anyone that reminded me of Joe became increasingly wearing on me …<\/p>\n
Which is why I think I withdrew …<\/p>\n
Isolated myself …<\/p>\n
From everyone for the most part.<\/p>\n
Had I moved away …<\/p>\n
Removed myself from the frequent Joe reminders …<\/p>\n
I don’t think I would have experienced what I experienced.<\/p>\n
And in some ways …<\/p>\n
I think that the reason this hit me as it has is because I’ve drawn out the dual life way too long …<\/p>\n
It is negatively affecting everyone at this point.<\/p>\n
But there’s a huge positive to this experience …<\/p>\n
It has allowed me to see …<\/p>\n
That I needed to bring closure to my own feelings for Joe Hairdy.<\/p>\n
I too was holding on …<\/p>\n
Refusing to let go …<\/p>\n
And it had become destructive to me.<\/p>\n
So anyways …<\/p>\n
Joe and I need to co-exist for a bit longer …<\/p>\n
But maybe now that he knows I hate him,<\/p>\n
He’ll just leave me alone ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Editor’s Note: First of all, I’m not krazy … well, let me specify that … I’m not krazy just because I’m talking about Joe in the third person … it’s just easier that way. And secondly, I fully expect that my hatred for all things Joe will dissipate and I’ll like him once more … as soon as there’s a bit more distance between us. \ud83d\ude42 Lastly, I really do think that at some point … for those that know Joe … he’ll become a memory and it will be all about me, like it is supposed to be. Also, I’d like to thank the Academy and my wonderful viewers whose comments and e-mails helped make me smile and occupy my time while I was being tempted by the Dark Side. Thanks !!! \ud83d\ude42 I’ll reward you all with some boob pics someday !! \ud83d\ude42 Though, I guess that’s just a reward for the guys and lesbians in the amyvision audience. Oh well, it’s all I got. *shrug* \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
POUR SOME SUGAR ON MEEEEEEEE !!! Woooo hoooo !!! \ud83d\ude42 I finally figured out what the dork was causing my exceptionally despondent mood recently … And figuring it out has made me feel soooo much better ! \ud83d\ude42 It’s been a struggle for me recently … Falling so many rungs so quickly … And just…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":23,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=836"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/836\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=836"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=836"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=836"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}