One of the main reasons I write my movie reviews is because I don’t have my own television show just yet … so I’ve got to have an outlet for my excessive viewage of movie and television offerings …<\/p>\n
And I sort of feel this actually does give you a bit of insight into what makes me me … some of my likes … some of my dislikes.<\/p>\n
Now when I rate a movie … I’m not of the opinion that it’s my way or the highway … in fact, my opinion about anything is rarely so set to be of that firm a position …<\/p>\n
How I rate is a movie is simply how it fits in the Amy scale … I totally appreciate that others have a different opinion than me when it comes to flicks … oftentimes a more informed opinion.<\/p>\n
I’m saying this not because my past movie reviews have often been challenged by viewers … I like it when you write your own opinions about my opinions …<\/p>\n
I’m doing a preemptive qualificatiooon because I am well aware that apparently I’m the only person I know of that is not going all gaa-gaa over Big Fish<\/a>, the recent Tim Burton release … so I fully expect and invite you to tell me I’m bonkers in offering this review. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n I think Sister said it was something like one of the best movies ever (though remember, she also said that about Elf<\/a> ! :)) And Shaft thought it was really good too … giving it a 7.5 out of 10.0. My advice … if you can sign up for a class with Shaft … go for it … he’s an easy grader !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n Because me … well, I give it a 5 out of 10 … and this is why. With that being said … we agreed to meet in the parking lot at the theatre at noon … now if you think I’m late for things … wait until you start dealing with Shaft … he’s three time zones away normally. So while I was sitting in the parking lot … it came as no surprise when noon rolled around that the phone would ring … and I answer with …<\/p>\n “Did you forget about me?<\/i>”<\/p>\n “No, I’m on Shaft time.<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Whatever.<\/i>”<\/p>\n And he rolls (yes … literally rolls) into the parking space next to me 15 minutes later, powers down his window, encouraging me to the do same … then yells the following …<\/p>\n “Hurry up and get in my car, I’ve got to shit. Really bad.<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Nice !<\/i>”<\/p>\n “I’m not kidding, get in here … I’ve really got to shit.<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Geezuz ! Why don’t you just run into the theatre and use the restroom there.<\/i>”<\/p>\n “No … let’s go, get in here, hurry. Where do you want to go for lunch?<\/i>”<\/p>\n Obviously, he wanted someplace close … so we went to this bar nearby … where as soon as we were seated … he promptly scurried off to the restroom.<\/p>\n “I just talked with the cook in the restroom … that always makes me nervous.<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Did he wash his hands?<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Huh?<\/i>”<\/p>\n “Forget it.<\/i>”<\/p>\n So we ordered lunch, me getting my traditional lunch of a hamburger and fries … Shaft ordering a grilled ham and cheese sandwich while being very picky about its contents … what kind of cheese? what kind of bread? sliced or shaved ham? thin or thick slices? does he put butter on the bread? is it homemade bread?<\/i> … seriously, for a guy that beeps and has a light flashing over his head whenever he backs up … he’s the pickiest eater you’ll ever meet …<\/p>\n Anyways … after finishing lunch we made the 5 minute drive back to the movie theatre. Surprisingly, Shaft was once again in a hurry to find a rest room … and instead of actually following the street signs … he opted to drive 1\/4 mile down the wrong way of a divided thorough-fare so as to save 2 minutes of travel time. Yes … I buckled up. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n Arriving in one piece at the theatre … immediately upon entering Shaft muttered the words …<\/p>\n “Back in a minute, I have to shit again.<\/i>”<\/p>\n Great.<\/p>\n Now I’m hoping you’re getting a bit of a better understanding of Shaft. Nothing I’m saying here will surprise any of The UnUsual Suspects … Shaft is an incredibly sensitive, understanding, supportive and kind hearted individual, he’s one of a kind, but at the same time he’s all that … he’s 100% man !! He belches, flicks boogers, and laughs at the mere thought of passing gas … and though he claims to suffer from irritable bowel syndrome<\/a> … me thinks he just likes talking about bowel movements. Now understand, I’m not sharing this to show what a pig Shaft can be at times … I’m sharing this because in an incredibly kewl way … despite my change … and all the other changes we’ve had to deal with … this interactioooon between us hasn’t changed … and as disgusting as it is … it’s really neat too … because he’d act the same in front of Satan, OBP, Singer, Sister or any other female friend of his. Sameness is nice at times. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n Anyways … after he finished bathroom trip number 2 (hehe, yeah, I know !!) … we went to kill some time in the video arcade.<\/p>\n At which point … I continued my mastery in House of The Dead – 2 <\/a>… wasting Shaft while not even having to put down my purse. (To date, only one person has ever beaten me … unfortunately, I can’t even say it’s a fluke … because she’s actually never lost to me … dammit !!) However, I will concede that he did destroy me in Galaga<\/a>.<\/p>\n Finally, it was movie time … but first … concessions … so while Shaft went to do a “follow-up wipe<\/i>” … I got my Frozen Mountain Dew and popcorn. And yes, trust me … in light of his frequent bathroom breaks … there’s no way in hell I was going to let him stick his hand in my bag o’ popcorn. I did NOT share ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n As far as the movie goes … visually … it was a masterpiece. I really enjoyed just watching the presentation unfold on screen … lots of fantasy elements … things you wouldn’t expect to see … overly tall people … extremely short people … really big fish, duh … some beautiful scenery … scary scenery … fun scenery … I strongly recommend seeing the movie in a theatre just for the visual alone. It’s worth a full price ticket just for that.<\/p>\n So … if I’m giving it a recommendation of theatre viewing at evening prices … why did I only give it a 5?<\/p>\n Because that’s really all I felt it brought to the table. The story being told didn’t engross me that much, I felt there was some serious holes in the story line and my mind wandered at times as a result, I checked my phone for the time four times during the flick …<\/p>\n I also really disliked the lead character, the adult son, as I felt he was selfish and didn’t show proper respect to his father, and this certainly led me to dislike the movie some …<\/p>\n Finally, phace it people, if we’ve established anything here at AmyNews.com<\/a>, it’s just that I’m not good at getting metaphors or symbolism … things need to smack me right in the face or be explained to me … I just didn’t get what everyone represented or what meaning was attempting to be conveyed …<\/p>\n So, yeah, I liked it because it was pretty, but not enough to give it anything more than a 5.<\/p>\n
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\nAfter several months of whining that Shaft has no time for me anymore now that Baby Shaft has arrived … he finally consented to going to a movie with me on Valentine’s Day … which I wll say was a totally sweet gesture. Not only did he spring for the movie, but he also bought me lunch beforehand and sprung for a whole bunch of video games. Yeah !!!! \ud83d\ude42 And he even got me a Valentine’s Day card !!! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n