I’ve been in a pretty bad way the last week or so,<\/p>\n
Not physically. But emotionally.<\/p>\n
At first I attributed it to just the post-surgery blues, and sort of talked myself into believing that was the genesis of my melancholy,<\/p>\n
But I don’t think it was the primary reason.<\/p>\n
Instead, I think I have been significantly affected by the isolation I’ve found myself experiencing since my ffs combined with the increasing feelings of frustration I experience perpetuating the boy myth.
\n
\nAt the end of last week, the two people who don’t have any free time in their schedules … Shaft and Singer … sensed my angst enough and found a way to e-mail and call me to let me know I’m still remembered.<\/p>\n
Critical, absolutely. But I feel guilty imposing on their time.<\/p>\n
I think I should spead my neediness among others !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
So then I had the positive Disclosure experience with Sister.<\/p>\n
And that interaction, discussion so helped.<\/p>\n
Tremendously.<\/p>\n
But still, I just couldn’t shake the dreary feeling.<\/p>\n
I tried to force myself out this past weekend. Did some mwalling, saw family … but the cloud was thick.<\/p>\n
Despite the face of fineness I was trying to present.<\/p>\n
I even did something I rarely do in an attempt to shake the feeling, I didn’t go into the office yesterday. I worked, not a great deal, but I got some things done from home. And mainly just sort of … vegged.<\/p>\n
Until 5:00ish when I went to meet The Usual Suspects for the bowling tailgate.<\/p>\n
And this time, it would be the first time I had seen all of them together … after they all knew.<\/p>\n
I didn’t have any anxiety about seeing them just because they all knew now, but I had some hesitation seeing them as I don’t want them to associate the new face with Joe Hairdy. The changes, though subtle, are enough that I don’t want burned into their memory as belonging to Joe, something I’ve mentioned often and Shaft commented was happening to him yesterday. But it was an accommodation I had to make for myself. I needed some human contact, in a casual setting, with people I trust.<\/p>\n
Now I didn’t bwowl last night with them. I could have, but got the vibe that now that they all knew, they sort of just needed some time together to talk amongst themselves, not about about me in a behind my back way, but about me to sort things out … process. So when they left to go bowling, I left to go home.<\/p>\n
But those 60 odd minutes of just normalness, spending time with the people so important to me …<\/p>\n
Did wonders to my disposition.<\/p>\n
Each and every one of them couldn’t be a more true definition of friend.<\/p>\n
Singer was Amazing; Hottie was Awesome; Sister was Great; New Dude on the Bowling Team Who Doesn’t Have A Nickname Yet was Cool ! (The only person missing was Shaft, but he never tailgates anyway … something about a load limit.)<\/p>\n
Now today though …<\/p>\n
With my much improved disposition …<\/p>\n
And long awaited return to Amyness …<\/p>\n
I’ve got some issues to face …<\/p>\n
Well, really just one …<\/p>\n
What to go as for Halloween?<\/p>\n
\ud83d\ude09 jk<\/p>\n
We all know what issue I have to face. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been in a pretty bad way the last week or so, Not physically. But emotionally. At first I attributed it to just the post-surgery blues, and sort of talked myself into believing that was the genesis of my melancholy, But I don’t think it was the primary reason. Instead, I think I have been…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[132],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":132,"label":"Family and Friends Info"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":6,"category_info":[{"term_id":132,"name":"Family and Friends Info","slug":"family-and-friends-info","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":136,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":26,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":132,"category_count":26,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Family and Friends Info","category_nicename":"family-and-friends-info","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/571\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}