Almost two weeks of Isolation<\/i> and Withdrawal<\/i> …<\/p>\n
Is coming to a close.<\/p>\n
Since my day of desperation … I’ve talked to hardly no one other than clients, Shaft and Singer.<\/p>\n
Work … private reflection … work … food binges … work … mall runs … work.<\/p>\n
Lots of staring at the walls. Lots of sitting by myself alone. Lots of … well … just thinking.<\/p>\n
It was good for me. \ud83d\ude42 I’m now back in the game.<\/p>\n
But you know what’s pathetic .. really pathetic ??<\/p>\n
No one noticed my Isolation<\/i> and Withdrawal<\/i> but me !!!! LOL
\n
\nSeriously, no one noticed that I’ve been dispondent, quiet and solitary until … Thursday … and then it was my sister-in-law that noticed my disapperance … “Hey, I tried calling Joe Hairdy a few times and he’s never called back, is he okay?<\/i>” … the irony of her noticing my state before anyone else is hilarious !! (We’ve gotten along much better over the years … sort of a comfortable truce … but there’s no question, in the early days, our relationship was strained … I am incredibly protective of the men in my life … meaning Bro and Shaft … and if their wives are not treating them up to my expectations and the way I think they deserve to me treated … I go on the attack … hence the difficult relationship Sister-in-law and I had in the early days … and why I call Satan … Satan. Treat my boys right dammit !! \ud83d\ude42 )<\/p>\n
Anyways … it’s funny how when I withdrew, stopped taking calls, failed to return calls … no one really noticed.<\/p>\n
But that is something that I’ve found unique about the transsexual experience. Different from that of other conditions.<\/p>\n
People don’t support you.<\/p>\n
Had I had the flu … I’d have received multiple calls asking if I was okay, if I needed anything, if one could be of help …<\/p>\n
Had I been diagnosed with depression … I’d have received multiple calls checking in on me, to guage how I sounded, to see if I was okay …<\/p>\n
Had I been diagnosed with another condition with which they weren’t familiar … instead of disgust and rebuffs at offers to provide information concerning the diagnosis … any materials offered would have been quickly received, to help better understand what I was dealing with … going through ….<\/p>\n
But that’s not the case with transsexualism.<\/p>\n
Now I consider myself incredibly lucky … in my day to day life … Shaft has not only shown concern for me, he’s acted on it … I couldn’t be luckier …<\/p>\n
And my friends here, have helped me with their words, e-mails and comments more than they can ever imagine …<\/p>\n
But at this point… if someone said to me … “Let’s go out and get some coffee.” … I’d probably be shocked to speechlessness !! lol<\/p>\n
It simply doesn’t happen. And it’s not like my transsexualism is all I talk about, I rarely mention it, if they have questions, they can ask … but I’m not into push technology …<\/p>\n
I guess it’s just easier for people to stay the heck away from me.<\/p>\n
Now I don’t necessarily think such behavior is meant to convey a lack of feelings for me … in my delusional frame of reference … I continue to believe most do care for me … it’s just that unlike other conditions where one might receive support throughout the process …<\/p>\n
With this … I think for the most part, you’re on your own in dealing with it.<\/p>\n
And that’s difficult, because I’ve only got Shaft who is active in his support … and is really the only person I can intrude on with requests for assistance. I’ve tried not to abuse his help, and I think I’ve been relatively cautious in making requests for his time … but there were a couple of situations, doctor visits, follow-ups from procedures … where being left with no choice but to care for myself … I put my own safety, and others, at risk. It’s not a good thing.<\/p>\n
But I do believe … after all is said and done … after I’ve proven that I know what I’m doing \ud83d\ude42 … after I have dealt with it<\/i> … involvement and comfortable interaction with me will return.<\/p>\n
I hopeful ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Almost two weeks of Isolation and Withdrawal … Is coming to a close. Since my day of desperation … I’ve talked to hardly no one other than clients, Shaft and Singer. Work … private reflection … work … food binges … work … mall runs … work. Lots of staring at the walls. Lots of…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":6,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=482"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/482\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=482"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=482"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=482"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}