Today’s topic … Why I Stopped Wearing a Seatbelt<\/i>.<\/p>\n
Stupid, I know. Utterly stupid.<\/p>\n
And it’s totally an easy way to see in what can of mood I am.<\/p>\n
How I’m feeling.<\/p>\n
I stopped regularly wearing a seatbelt when I stopped fearing death.<\/p>\n
It’s sort of a … I just don’t care anymore … if you want me, I’m not going to make it harder for you<\/i> … attitude<\/p>\n
For me … it’s been that way for a few years now … off and on.<\/p>\n
And it’s not ever an accidental case of belt non-fastening: I don’t ever just forget to wear my seatbelt.<\/p>\n
Though uncomfortable at times, I also don’t just choose not to wear my seatbelt for that reason.<\/p>\n
Sometimes … I just don’t give a rip.<\/p>\n
Though I don’t want to die, and I don’t place myself in situations where the odds of such dramatically increase, sometimes … my energy to fight for life gets weakened and I don’t have the internal, personal motivation to even want to buckle up.<\/p>\n
Right now … I’m about 50\/50.<\/p>\n
Half the time I wear it, half the time I don’t.<\/p>\n
Now I suspect, that when this stage of my transition has passed, when I’m at a point in my life where the surgeries are done, the purging of family and friends who want nothing to do with me complete, and when I’m just being me …<\/p>\n
That the burning desire to live will return.<\/p>\n
Along with the fear of death …<\/p>\n
And along me wearing my seatbelt all the time.<\/p>\n
And that is … another reason why I’m doing this ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today’s topic … Why I Stopped Wearing a Seatbelt. Stupid, I know. Utterly stupid. And it’s totally an easy way to see in what can of mood I am. How I’m feeling. I stopped regularly wearing a seatbelt when I stopped fearing death. It’s sort of a … I just don’t care anymore … if…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":7,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=477"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/477\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=477"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=477"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=477"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}