Caitlin<\/a> the other day and she referred to it as “controlled chaos” … she’s definitely right !!<\/p>\nNow since it’s MY transition, I’m stuck doing every, single thing that needs to be done …<\/p>\n
And since I’m doing every, single thing that needs to be done, I’m bound to feel like I really don’t matter much to others … ’cause most of what I get them are requests for assistance, not offers of assistance. (Shaft’s an exception to this overly broad statement.)<\/p>\n
Totally side … unrelated observation<\/b> … I understand this whole transition thing is hard on people, and phreaks people out … But you know what totally blows? … What makes me come to believe that I don’t matter unless I’m doing what people want? … Is that not once has any female who knows offered me one iota of assistance … sure … I don’t expect glee and excitement … especially at first … but as time has progressed and the seriousness of this to me has become established … you’d think that if I really mattered … there’d be at least a “hesitant, please don’t accept this” type of offer by someone … to “help you learn some girl things.”<\/p>\n
But no … instead … it’s the “I don’t think you’ll really transition” … “You’re too old” … “I think you’d have done it by now if you were going to do it” … not necessarily mean comments, but still, message sending in a way.<\/p>\n
Oh well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I am feeling stressed. Really stressed. And I’m feeling alone. So alone. And I’m feeling like I don’t matter. Not one … single … bit.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":6,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}