{"id":3412,"date":"2004-08-23T06:18:38","date_gmt":"2004-08-23T11:18:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=1075"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:38:22","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:38:22","slug":"the-generals-need-for-knowledge-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2004\/08\/the-generals-need-for-knowledge-2\/","title":{"rendered":"The General\u2019s Need for Knowledge"},"content":{"rendered":"

I’ve mentioned him in passing before<\/a> …<\/p>\n

The North Korean General who we turned for his military secrets …<\/p>\n

That now purports to work in my office building feigning the occupation as a proprietor of a tailor shop.<\/p>\n

We came to the conclusion he is actually a commie General since …<\/p>\n

Though it’s his tailor shop,<\/p>\n

No one has ever seen him working,<\/p>\n

Yet after five years,<\/p>\n

He’s still in business.<\/p>\n

Instead, it seems he is in the business of collecting information and passing it along,<\/p>\n

And he’s good at it.<\/p>\n

The person we always go to if we want to know anything about anybody or anything in our little section of downtown.<\/p>\n

Actually, he’s a decent guy, not bad at all for a commie General,<\/p>\n

Though we are convinced he’s killed people in his past.<\/p>\n

Now as part of his information acquiring routine,<\/p>\n

He’s always standing outside the building smoking a cigarette, talking with the construction crew building the parking garage next to our building, new art museum (why?? WHY ??? Why do we need a new art museum ??) across the street, or just passer-by’s in general.<\/p>\n

He’s not afraid to ask anyone questions,<\/p>\n

And does he ever ask the questions !!!<\/p>\n

Collecting information … that’s what he does.
\n
\nIf not smoking,<\/p>\n

He’s at the coffee shop next door,<\/p>\n

Doing the same thing …<\/p>\n

Sitting there,<\/p>\n

Listening …<\/p>\n

Or piping up when he wants to be blunt.<\/p>\n

Sometimes he trades for information … “I’ll tell you who he’s sleeping with, but you have to give me some knowledge in return<\/i>“,<\/p>\n

But most of the time he just takes it for free.<\/p>\n

On the rare chance he’s in his store,<\/p>\n

He’s still not tailoring …<\/p>\n

But running through his collection of illegals that he trades in as a side business.<\/p>\n

Honest to gawd, each week he has a new “apprentice” tailor …<\/p>\n

Always an attractive young woman who does not speak a lick of American,<\/p>\n

And never returns the following Monday.<\/p>\n

Damn … he has a pretty good life in the witness protection program.<\/p>\n

Anyways …<\/p>\n

The past several months, he’s been very frustrated about identifying the whereabouts of Joe Hairdy.<\/p>\n

It started earlier this year after he and some of the regulars at the coffee shop saw “some attorney with a pony tail<\/i>” walking into our building.<\/p>\n

“Who was that?<\/i>” He asked relentlessly, cornering me often as I was entering our building or demanding an answer furiously each morning when I stopped into the coffee shop for my regular cup o’ joe.<\/p>\n

“We know they’re a lawyer,<\/i>” he said, confirming that others in the coffee shop recognized the person as an attorney, “but no one can remember their name.<\/i>”<\/p>\n

“Hell, I don’t know,<\/i>” I said probably 2 dozen times over a 4 week period, “I’ll have to ask Shaft if he was working with them.<\/i>”<\/p>\n

Near the end, he was simply getting darn right angry with me … I was clearly withholding information he wanted, and we both knew it.<\/p>\n

But then I disappeared two months ago …<\/p>\n

Ceasing my downtown presence while isolating myself at Dagobah.<\/p>\n

Well, early last week, the General cornered Shaft inquiring about my whereabouts.<\/p>\n

“Where is Joe?<\/i>” he demanded.<\/p>\n

“What do you mean, he’s around, he’s just been busy,<\/i>” Shaft tossed back at him.<\/p>\n

“No he hasn’t, no one has seen him. Not around here, not getting coffee. Where is he?<\/i>” He reasserted.<\/p>\n

“Yeah he has, he’s been around.<\/i>” Shaft answered, rationalizing it as a non-lie as I had been there … just after hours and on the weekend.<\/p>\n

Now obviously, the General is one of the reasons that I’ve been avoiding going into the office …<\/p>\n

Because the second he confirms,<\/p>\n

It’ll be broadcast around the world.<\/p>\n

Seriously,<\/p>\n

Within 10 minutes Kim Chong-il will probably be mentioning to someone …<\/p>\n

“Say, did you hear Joe is having a sex change?<\/i>”<\/p>\n

“Who is Joe?<\/i>”<\/p>\n

“I don’t know, but the General just called me with the information.<\/i>”<\/p>\n

Well, Thursday of last week, we had some issues going down in the office where it would just be easier if I was there to discuss it with the others (our lease was up and we were in the process of deciding what to do … should we stay or should we go) …<\/p>\n

So I felt it would make sense to leave Dagobah and go into the office,<\/p>\n

Despite knowing that the General would be on the lookout.<\/p>\n

Well, Thursday went well …<\/p>\n

I didn’t see him once,<\/p>\n

And it was really nice to actually be around Shaft & Co.,<\/p>\n

Doing what we normally do …<\/p>\n

Argue, mock ourselves, mock others, and laugh,<\/p>\n

Not necessarily in that order.<\/p>\n

So Friday I figured …<\/p>\n

What the heck,<\/p>\n

I’ve got one client to meet and I was going to do a housecall for that,<\/p>\n

But I could probably just ask them to come down to my office …<\/p>\n

And hey, it’d be easier for me.<\/p>\n

Well …<\/p>\n

Entry into the building during the morning was uneventful,<\/p>\n

But then we left for lunch …<\/p>\n

And,<\/p>\n

Well, that’s a risk situation.<\/p>\n

Because you’re exiting the building blind …<\/p>\n

Unable to see if the General is standing by his basement entry door looking up to see what was going on at sidewalk level.<\/p>\n

And of course,<\/p>\n

On Friday afternoon …<\/p>\n

He was,<\/p>\n

And we made dead-on eye contact.<\/p>\n

Now one of the things we learn in girl school (calm down people, I’m just was being facetious about girl school) …<\/p>\n

Is how to gracefully, quickly, while conveying disinterest …<\/p>\n

Extract oneself from accidental eye contact situations with guys.<\/p>\n

Yeah, yeah, yeah …<\/p>\n

I know,<\/p>\n

You’re saying …<\/p>\n

“When has Amy ever not struck up a conversation with a guy with whom she’s made accidental eye contact?<\/i>”<\/p>\n

Well, granted …<\/p>\n

It doesn’t happen often, as I tend to be friendly …<\/p>\n

But if the guy is drunk or obviously a jerk,<\/p>\n

I have utilized the tactic.<\/p>\n

And I did in this encounter with the General …<\/p>\n

While proceeding on my way to meet up with Shaft for lunch.<\/p>\n

I had no idea if he made any recognition …<\/p>\n

But in order to make the whole “graceful, quick, disinterested<\/i>” move work …<\/p>\n

You have to believe in it,<\/p>\n

Moving onward without hesitation or a look back.<\/p>\n

Too funny …<\/p>\n

Seriously,<\/p>\n

You gotta love the predictability of the General …<\/p>\n

I knew I couldn’t go two days without running into him.<\/p>\n

And then,<\/p>\n

Later in the afternoon …<\/p>\n

As I was leaving for the day,<\/p>\n

I exited the building as I always do,<\/p>\n

And made the quick glance out of the corner of my eye to see if the General was out smoking again …<\/p>\n

Nope, nada …<\/p>\n

He wasn’t by his basement door.<\/p>\n

So I made my way to the parking garage …<\/p>\n

And just as a got to the corner of our building,<\/p>\n

Out of the adjacent alley I hear …<\/p>\n

“ooooeee, ooooooee, ooooooeee<\/i>”<\/p>\n

And see the General smiling, waving and walking towards me,<\/p>\n

From his alley hiding place.<\/p>\n

Oh well, let’s see …<\/p>\n

How shall I respond?<\/p>\n

I know …<\/p>\n

I’ll go with the bluff,<\/p>\n

Not respond to the name and just see if I can ignore and walk my way out of this.<\/p>\n

So I continued walking down the sidewalk as he made his way towards me.<\/p>\n

Moments later,<\/p>\n

We intersected at the sidewalk,<\/p>\n

With him cutting me off,<\/p>\n

Stepping right in front of me.<\/p>\n

“Moe, Moe, Moe !<\/i>” He yells as he waves to some guy across the street.<\/p>\n

Hehe … sweet.<\/p>\n

So I step around the General,<\/p>\n

With a bit of attitude because he did rudely cut me off,<\/p>\n

And didn’t even say “Excuse me<\/i>” or “I’m sorry<\/i>.”<\/p>\n

So I tossed out an annoyed eye roll,<\/p>\n

With complimentary upper lip sneer,<\/p>\n

As I walked between him and his friend Moe on the other side of the street with whom he was attempting to carry on a conversation.<\/p>\n

Now,<\/p>\n

I have no idea if he put 2 and 2 together,<\/p>\n

But for the luv of gawd,<\/p>\n

He certainly got two really good views of me to make the connection …<\/p>\n

One with eye contact,<\/p>\n

And one where we actually bumped into one another.<\/p>\n

But the way I look at it is …<\/p>\n

Either he finally figured it out, or …<\/p>\n

I had a leading role in one of his phreaky fantasies that night.<\/p>\n

And I for one,<\/p>\n

Am more disturbed with the latter ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve mentioned him in passing before … The North Korean General who we turned for his military secrets … That now purports to work in my office building feigning the occupation as a proprietor of a tailor shop. We came to the conclusion he is actually a commie General since … Though it’s his tailor…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":6,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3412"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3412"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3412\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3412"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3412"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3412"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}