{"id":241,"date":"2003-04-27T22:58:09","date_gmt":"2003-04-28T03:58:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=233"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:45:41","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:45:41","slug":"decision-option-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2003\/04\/decision-option-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Decision – Option 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

(aka “Death Becomes Her<\/b><\/i>“)<\/p>\n

Suicide<\/p>\n

Self-termination<\/p>\n

Personally Induced Euthanasia<\/p>\n

Call it what you will ….. it doesn’t matter …… ’cause whatever you call it ….. the final result is the same …..<\/p>\n

I’d be dead.
\n
\nAt no point have I ever seriously felt suicidal …..<\/p>\n

In fact …..<\/p>\n

The mere mention that I am considering it in my final re-evaluation of my decision ……<\/p>\n

From a completely fresh perspective …..<\/p>\n

And placing it on a equal footing as the other Options …..<\/p>\n

Has offended and bothered many of my viewers …. <\/p>\n

For that I am sorry.<\/p>\n

But I’m not doing this as …..<\/p>\n

A ratings gimmick,<\/p>\n

A cry for help, or even …..<\/p>\n

As a threat to those who might accept nothing other than Option 3. (Though it probably really isn’t beneath me to do just that.)<\/p>\n

I’m doing this to fully analyze this Option ….. and let others see my analysis path …..<\/p>\n

Some of it might apply to them …. Some of it might not …..<\/p>\n

But either way ……<\/p>\n

It is information …… which has to help ….. the greater good !!<\/p>\n

Analysis Procedure<\/i> – It is a simple one kids. Used the same for each Option. I list the Advantages and Disadvantages. That’s all ….. not all Advantages are created equal …. nor does one Advantage equal one Disadvantage. And when comparing Options …. an Option with more Disadvantages might still have enough Advantages to be preferrable to one with all Advantages. Make sense ?? Didn’t think so ….. just stick around …. it will eventually. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

Advantages<\/b><\/p>\n

Selfless<\/i><\/p>\n

I’ve broached the point before<\/a> …..<\/p>\n

In my particular situation …..<\/p>\n

I have concluded that after all is said and done ….<\/p>\n

Suicide would be a selfless act on my part.<\/p>\n

Yeah … I know …. that statement alone pisses some people off ….<\/p>\n

‘Cause it’s automatically presumed by some that suicide is the epitomy of selfishness ….<\/p>\n

But I don’t think that’s always the case ….<\/p>\n

Sometimes …. people put themselves in situations …. where death is certain ….. or at least practically certain …..<\/p>\n

But yet ……<\/p>\n

They do it to save the life of others, ……<\/p>\n

Or because …..<\/p>\n

They have decided greater good for others could come from their death, their sacrifice ….<\/p>\n

Whatever.<\/p>\n

Anyways …. let’s look at me …..<\/p>\n

The biggest reason why I think suicide would be a selfless act on my part ….<\/p>\n

Is because …..<\/p>\n

No one needs<\/i> me …..<\/p>\n

I’m not saying that in a sad way,<\/p>\n

Or to evoke sympathy …..<\/p>\n

I’m simply saying it as a statement of fact ….<\/p>\n

No one needs<\/i> me.<\/p>\n

I have no children ….<\/p>\n

I have no spouse …<\/p>\n

There is no one that really needs me.<\/p>\n

That doesn’t mean that there aren’t people who love me or want me ……<\/p>\n

But simply ….. I’m really not needed.<\/p>\n

So by not being needed, if I’m not around ….. well ….. hey ……<\/p>\n

From an obligation\/responsbility perspective ….<\/p>\n

I’m not letting anyone down …..<\/p>\n

And thus …..<\/p>\n

Though the act might be distasteful …..<\/p>\n

Since I’m not needed and not letting anyone down ….<\/p>\n

I’m not being selfish …..<\/p>\n

Now sure …..<\/p>\n

I might be missed …..<\/p>\n

By some people who want<\/i> me around …..<\/p>\n

But …..<\/p>\n

The “me” they want around would only make be available if I chose Option 3 …… ’cause if I choose Option 1 or Option 2 …… “me” ceases anyways ….. it’s just that a different “me” reappears …<\/p>\n

And there is a legitimate possibility ……<\/p>\n

That there might be less pain for some people …..<\/p>\n

If they can preserve the memory of “me” ……<\/p>\n

Without enduring the emergence of a new “me”……<\/p>\n

Heck ….<\/p>\n

It would spare them the embarassment of being known as having a transsexual child, sibling or friend ….<\/p>\n

Along with avoiding the difficulty and emotional impact enduring such a change would have on them ….<\/p>\n

Simply ….. among those who want “me” around …..<\/p>\n

The pain of dealing with my death ……<\/p>\n

Could be less burdensome and difficult than the pain of dealing with Option 1, or even Option 2.<\/p>\n

But let’s put the number of people who want “me” around in perspective …..<\/p>\n

There really aren’t that many …..<\/p>\n

Definitely ….. the ones I think want me around …… and would miss me …. whose life would be impacted by my death …..<\/p>\n

Mom, Dad, Brother, Shaft, Singer, Ex, Sister-in-Law, Nephew One, Nephew Two, Shaft’s Son – That’s Ten People.<\/p>\n

Ones who want me around, who would miss me …. but whose life wouldn’t be impacted by my death …..<\/p>\n

Hottie, Sister, OBP, Tenant, Satan, Three Uncles, Five Aunts – That’s Thirteen People.<\/p>\n

That’s 23 people …. total !!!<\/p>\n

Not a heck of a lot ……<\/p>\n

Granted ….. I know a lot of people ….. but out of all the people I know …. say ‘hi’ to ….. do favors for …… just know ….. ya know ??<\/p>\n

There’s only 23 people in the world that really want me around and would really miss me ….<\/p>\n

Wow …. do I ever feel insignificant !! lol<\/p>\n

So ten people’s lives would be impacted by my death ….<\/p>\n

And though six of those ten know already ….. they all …. along with the other thirteen who would miss me ….. would be allowed to keep the memory of “me” …..<\/p>\n

The “me” they want anyway.<\/p>\n

Letting them keep that “memory” might be a very selfless act.<\/p>\n

Easy to Implement<\/i><\/p>\n

Compared to the other options …. suicide would be an easy implementation. No need for facial feminization surgery, no need for srs, no need for more electrolysis, no need for a masectomy if I went with Option 3. Heck I could stop electro, stop hormones …. really wouldn’t need to do too much at all …. just plan and execute.<\/p>\n

Eliminates Personal Anquish<\/i><\/p>\n

I have never really considered myself in such personal pain or anguish that I would be pushed to suicide. That really hasn’t changed ….. but let’s be real …. if Option 4 is selected, it would eliminate any TS anquish I was feeling. Ahhh …. it just does !!<\/p>\n

Disadvantages<\/b><\/p>\n

Quality of Life Opportunities<\/i><\/p>\n

I would be dead.<\/p>\n

Soooo basically …. the quality of life opportunies would probably be worse with this Option than any of them ….. cause I’d be dead ….. get it ?? Just can’t have a quality of life if you’re dead.<\/p>\n

Significant Anguish to a Limited Few<\/i><\/p>\n

I’m not going to name numbers …… but I think that out of 9 people who would miss me, want me to be around and whose life would be impacted by my death …… the pain felt by about half of them would be significant.<\/p>\n

Finality<\/i><\/p>\n

Once implemented …… you’re kinda committed to it ….. There really isn’t any changing your mind with this option.<\/p>\n

People could never get to know the new “me”.<\/p>\n

And some might grow to learn or like the new “me”.<\/p>\n

Even though …. if I did commit suicide ….<\/p>\n

There are bound to be a few people who would feel regret or remorse or guilt for not being more supportive or understanding …..<\/p>\n

Who would say …..<\/p>\n

“If I only knew they were suffering to such a degree …. I would have been more supportive, helpful, understanding …. whatever.”<\/p>\n

And I’m sure they would mean it ….<\/p>\n

Kinda like I mean it when Shaft brings up a box of copier paper to the office ….. and I say ….<\/p>\n

“Dude, you shoulda called me …. I would have helped.”<\/p>\n

I say it and mean it when I say it because …..<\/p>\n

I have no risk of really having to follow through on that statement of support !!<\/p>\n

I do think that suicide takes away any chance that someone might get to prefer the new “me” better than the old “me”.<\/p>\n

So it takes away opportunities …..<\/p>\n

And with its finality, precludes you from even changing your mind in the future.<\/p>\n

Implementation<\/b><\/p>\n

It’s in my nature to implement whatever I do in such a way to minimize the disadvantages while maximizing the advantages.<\/p>\n

Nothing you can do to minimize the Quality of Life disadvantage with suicide …..<\/p>\n

But you could reduce the anguish to the limited few.<\/p>\n

How ??<\/p>\n

Come on …… suicide for me would not be a cry for help …. it’d simply be a decision to implement ….<\/p>\n

I’d implement it in such a manner to disguise my involvement ….<\/p>\n

Set-up Accident or Suicide by Hero would be the choices ….<\/p>\n

Distance my involvement ….<\/p>\n

And those limited few ….<\/p>\n

Who would possibly suspect set-up ….<\/p>\n

Could deny it had anything to do with my transsexualism …..<\/p>\n

And over time …..<\/p>\n

They would.<\/p>\n

Summary<\/b><\/p>\n

There are very few people in my life who would miss me, want me to be around and whose life would be impacted by my death. Under certain implementations, suicide could be preserving the long term memories in a positive way for those limited few, while minimizing the pain of my death. It is a relatively easy Option to implement, but once implemented, there is no changing your mind. My quality of life would cease permanently.<\/p>\n

And that …..<\/p>\n

Is ….<\/p>\n

The Case for Suicide.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

(aka “Death Becomes Her“) Suicide Self-termination Personally Induced Euthanasia Call it what you will ….. it doesn’t matter …… ’cause whatever you call it ….. the final result is the same ….. I’d be dead.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[132],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":132,"label":"Family and Friends Info"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":10,"category_info":[{"term_id":132,"name":"Family and Friends Info","slug":"family-and-friends-info","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":136,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":26,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":132,"category_count":26,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Family and Friends Info","category_nicename":"family-and-friends-info","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=241"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/241\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=241"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=241"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=241"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}