{"id":2109,"date":"2008-11-15T06:34:36","date_gmt":"2008-11-15T13:34:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=24"},"modified":"2016-04-11T06:56:28","modified_gmt":"2016-04-11T10:56:28","slug":"chick-fight-initiation","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2008\/11\/chick-fight-initiation\/","title":{"rendered":"Chick Fight – Initiation"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>H<\/span>ave I ever told you about the time I got the living krap kicked out of me in a chick fight ???<\/p>\n

No?<\/p>\n

Seriously?<\/p>\n

I haven’t?<\/p>\n

Well then … <\/p>\n

To begin,<\/p>\n

It’s not an entirely accurate statement that …<\/p>\n

I got the living krap kicked out of me in a chick fight.
\n<\/em><\/p>\n

I didn’t really.<\/p>\n

Technically speaking,<\/p>\n

I got the living phucking<\/span> krap<\/em> kicked out of me in a chick fight.<\/p>\n

Total,<\/p>\n

Complete \u2026<\/p>\n

Annihilation.<\/p>\n

Krazy, I’m tellin’ ya.<\/p>\n

No, No, Nooooooo !!!<\/p>\n

My dear boy viewers …<\/p>\n

Stop that right now !!!<\/p>\n

Slowly,<\/p>\n

… Gradually,<\/p>\n

…… Discretely,<\/p>\n

Lift your hand and place it back on the keyboard.<\/p>\n

I’m not talking about the kind of chick fight where \u2026<\/p>\n

Women-folk scratch and claw one another,<\/p>\n

Pull hair,<\/p>\n

Tear off tops,<\/p>\n

Fall into mud,<\/p>\n

And eventually end up making out with one another.<\/p>\n

Ohhhh !<\/em><\/p>\n

… Oohhhhhhh !!<\/em><\/p>\n

…… Ooohhhhhhhhhhhh !!!<\/em><\/p>\n

Nope,<\/p>\n

Definitely not that type of chick fight.<\/p>\n

The type of chick fight I’m talking about is …<\/p>\n

The one where one woman,<\/p>\n

Or group of women,<\/p>\n

Assert a \u2026<\/p>\n

Moral,<\/p>\n

Intellectual, or<\/p>\n

Societal standing,<\/p>\n

Superiority over another woman.<\/p>\n

One of those “I’m better than you<\/em>” kinda fights …<\/p>\n

Where women go no holds barred \u2026<\/p>\n

To make sure the …<\/p>\n

Alleged,<\/p>\n

Accused,<\/p>\n

Asserted …<\/p>\n

Less moral, less intelligent, or lower class standing chica is well aware of the identified differences between them and is thoroughly …<\/p>\n

Degraded,<\/p>\n

Beaten, and<\/p>\n

Humiliated.<\/p>\n

So not fun.<\/p>\n

Now I know,<\/p>\n

You’re probably saying, “But Amy-wan, you’re a Jedi … how could you have gotten the living krap kicked out you in a …<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“No, no<\/em>“, I’d interrupt, “That’s not what I said.<\/em>”<\/p>\n

“Oh, you’re right,<\/em>” you would correct and rephrase,<\/p>\n

“I meant .. but Amy-wan, you’re a Jedi … how could you have gotten the living phucking<\/span> krap kicked out of you in a chick fight?<\/em>”<\/p>\n

Well kiddos,<\/p>\n

It’s simple.<\/p>\n

I was unprepared.<\/p>\n

One of the down sides of not growing up natal,<\/p>\n

In addition to the whole just going through the motions, being internally miserable at best, and not even coming close to living life things,<\/p>\n

Yo,<\/p>\n

Is that I was totally klueless when it came to the whole chick fighting scene.<\/p>\n

I didn’t know the warning signs that a chick fight was developing,<\/p>\n

That I was in peril,<\/p>\n

Who would have my back,<\/p>\n

And most importantly,<\/p>\n

How to defend myself.<\/p>\n

Heck,<\/p>\n

I was so klueless that …<\/p>\n

Not only did I get the living phucking<\/span> krap kicked out of me,<\/p>\n

But I was actually in two separate chick fights at the same time.<\/p>\n

And to make matters worse,<\/p>\n

I was not even aware I was in either chick fight until it was too late,<\/p>\n

And I laid broken and bloodied from both.<\/p>\n

“Ummm … could use a little help here. Ow !<\/em>”<\/p>\n

On a scale of 1 – 10 …<\/p>\n

It sucked.<\/p>\n

Anyways,<\/p>\n

I learned a few things from the experience,<\/p>\n

And consistent with the whole theme of sharing my life here so others can learn from my mistakes,<\/p>\n

I’m not an example, I’m a warning !<\/em> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

This Chick Fight mini-series covers the Uno, Dos, and Tres of what I learned from the experience.<\/p>\n

Peace be with you.<\/p>\n

This post is the first in a series of five (1 of 5). As each of the posts are published, the links below will go live. And contrary to most of my mini-series, the only post that I have yet to complete is Aftermath, meaning it’s my plan to post one a day in successive days. Enjoy. She shoots, she scores !<\/p>\n

Chick Fight – The Boxed Set<\/span><\/h3>\n

Chick Fight – Initiation
\n<\/a>Chick Fight – Lesson Uno
\nChick Fight – Lesson Dos
\nChick Fight – Lesson Tres
\nChick Fight – Aftermath<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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