{"id":1529,"date":"2006-08-02T14:14:41","date_gmt":"2006-08-02T18:14:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=1578"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:35:28","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:35:28","slug":"the-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2006\/08\/the-answer\/","title":{"rendered":"The Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"

One white footie<\/em><\/p>\n

Golf Clubs<\/em><\/p>\n

A Simon and Garfunkel Album<\/em><\/p>\n

23 CDs<\/em><\/p>\n

A cookie tin of 45’s – top one was The Carpenters – Rainy Days & Mondays<\/em><\/p>\n

Gift in the glove compartment that was never able to be given<\/em><\/p>\n

5 of Joe’s business cards<\/em><\/p>\n

18 3-year old tablets of Vicodin (I flushed them down the toilet)
<\/em><\/p>\n

Sticky Note reminding me to “<\/em>Get cigarettes and Beef Jerky” (Not for me, I’m thinking it was for Singer and Sister)<\/em><\/p>\n

Three empty cans of Red Bull (Actually, I honestly think there’s a chance they were leftovers from a Sister and Miss Daisy outing where we went to some party just east of BFE)
<\/em><\/p>\n

Key chain in the shape of a small Florida license plate that says<\/em> Amy<\/em><\/p>\n

8 McDonald Monopoly tags<\/em><\/p>\n

$3 in McDonald’s gift certificates<\/em><\/p>\n

Garage door opener to Ex’s old house<\/em><\/p>\n

House key to my old house<\/em><\/p>\n

Room key to the place we stayed at 5 years ago during the golfing outing with my old college buddies<\/em><\/p>\n

2002, 2003. 2004, 2005 Court Rules for my home state<\/em><\/p>\n

2003, 2004, 2005 Criminal Statutes and Rules for my home state<\/em><\/p>\n

2005 Court Rules for my home state – another copy
<\/em><\/p>\n

Playbill to Blue Man Group<\/em><\/p>\n

1 Unused condom (Trojan – lubricated)<\/em><\/p>\n

Receipt from Jake’s Pizza for a 14 inch mushroom, sausage and pepperoni thin crust pizza that Shaft ordered delivered to the hotel room the night of my FFS while he was taking care of me<\/em><\/p>\n

Receipt for the room and golf package for Joe’s last golf outing with his old college buddies – arrival date was June 26, 2003<\/em><\/p>\n

Printout of Joe’s last bowling sheet before my FFS – He rolled a 537.
<\/em><\/p>\n

Printout of the first bowling sheet when Joe bowled with the group after my FFS (November 19, 2003. Our series totals for the night were Singer: 349; Sister: 257; Miss Daisy: 435; Runner-Up: 431; Joe: 436. Please note for the record that I did have the team high series ! \ud83d\ude42 )
<\/em><\/p>\n

5 Megamillion lottery tickets – all losers
<\/em><\/p>\n

An uncashed check made out to Joe for $750.00 (too late to cash it now)<\/em><\/p>\n

Pictures from a GP gathering in Chicago<\/em><\/p>\n

Program to my cousin Jet’s wedding<\/em><\/p>\n

A brand new tube of mascara<\/em><\/p>\n

A worthless tube of lipstick<\/em><\/p>\n

Sunglass case<\/em><\/p>\n

Another sunglass case
<\/em><\/p>\n

And yet another sunglass case<\/em><\/p>\n

Map of my home state<\/em><\/p>\n

Map of my home county<\/em><\/p>\n

Map of my second home county<\/em><\/p>\n

Tire pressure gauge
<\/em><\/p>\n

Flashlight<\/em><\/p>\n

Two old cell phones<\/em><\/p>\n

Tube of emollient<\/em><\/p>\n

Starbucks gift card – $10
<\/em><\/p>\n

A large Maxwell House coffee can full of change<\/em><\/p>\n

A 2 liter Mountain Dew plastic bottle full of change<\/em><\/p>\n

A 2 liter Coke plastic bottle full of change<\/em><\/p>\n

5 umbrellas (Ahem … yeah, apparently Shaft was wise for putting me on Umbrella Probation – it<\/em> does appear I never return a borrowed umbrella.)<\/em><\/p>\n

4 containers of hand lotion in various stages of emptiness<\/em><\/p>\n

Boy golf shoes<\/em><\/p>\n

Girl golf shoes<\/em><\/p>\n

Boy bowling shoes<\/em><\/p>\n

Boy overnight bag (empty)<\/em><\/p>\n

A pair of Joe’s navy Docker shorts<\/em><\/p>\n

One of Joe’s old favorite ties<\/em><\/p>\n

Tollway change stash stored in a small container in which I get my Chinese Chicken Noodle Soup<\/em><\/p>\n

Abdomen sticky pads I had to wear under the girdle which I had to wear for an annoying number of weeks after my waistline liposuctiooooon<\/em><\/p>\n

5 baseball caps<\/em><\/p>\n

Another flashlight<\/em><\/p>\n

Always thin pantiliners
<\/em><\/p>\n

Notes for an opening statement
<\/em><\/p>\n

Spare fuses
<\/em><\/p>\n

Windshield scraper<\/em><\/p>\n

Parking garage card<\/em><\/p>\n

9 travel coffee cups<\/em><\/p>\n

4 different types of handsfree head\/ear phones for various mobile phones<\/em><\/p>\n

A golf ball mark from The Masters<\/em><\/p>\n

A golf ball<\/em><\/p>\n

A golf tee<\/em><\/p>\n

A container of bandages<\/em><\/p>\n

Car registrations and proofs of insurance for 2003, 2004, 2005 and 2006<\/em><\/p>\n

A Nautica floating key chain with nothing attached<\/em><\/p>\n

An Olympus voice recording device<\/em><\/p>\n

Approximately 1,806 blue, fine tipped pens
<\/em><\/p>\n

1 Westlaw labeled highlighter<\/em><\/p>\n

A picture of all 5 of us from my old Wednesday night gang taken the first time we hung out as a group<\/em><\/p>\n

And The Question is …<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

What did Amy find in the Grand Amy incarnation of the Amymobile before she turned it in upon the expiration of her lease?<\/em><\/p>\n

We had been through a great deal together,<\/p>\n

The Grand Amy and Me.<\/p>\n

As reflected by its significant quantity of mileage.<\/p>\n

It seems like just yesterday that I got her …<\/p>\n

Before my FFS.<\/p>\n

Before my BA,<\/p>\n

Before my GRS.<\/p>\n

I remember when I first got the Grand Amy<\/a> …<\/p>\n

How some commented,<\/p>\n

“Nice car, Joe, but it kinda looks like a girl’s car.<\/em>“<\/p>\n

Ha !<\/p>\n

Just give it time, folks …<\/p>\n

It’ll all make sense soon enough. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

A lot of memories in that there car,<\/p>\n

63,490 miles worth.<\/p>\n

Last year I cleaned out my old house …<\/p>\n

Disposing of all sorts of things of Joe.<\/p>\n

Tons of stuff.<\/p>\n

Inevitably I kept coming across items, momentos, that triggered all sorts of flashbacks of times past.<\/p>\n

I had rented one of those big butt garbage dumpsters and things were either in the keep and move to some new digs pile,<\/p>\n

Or I steeled the nerve to toss the remnants of Joe’s past in the dumpster.<\/p>\n

(The exception being Joe’s clothes … most of those I distributed to friends, family or charity.)<\/p>\n

The cleaning out process was brutally hard for me,<\/p>\n

On me.<\/p>\n

It was sort of like attending my own funeral,<\/p>\n

As I came across so many keepsakes from life moments …<\/p>\n

That made memories of a life past and gone seem so fresh and current.<\/p>\n

I’d do good for a few hours of cleaning and then stumble across something that strained me.<\/p>\n

Uber quantities of tears at times,<\/p>\n

But it was a good cleansing,<\/p>\n

Part of the moving on process.<\/p>\n

I sorta thought cleaning out the Grand Amy was going to be hard on me like that,<\/p>\n

As I stumbled across so much of what’s been going down in my life the past three years.<\/p>\n

But it really wasn’t.<\/p>\n

Instead it was kinda fun …<\/p>\n

Not quite knowing what I’d find next as a reminder of what the Grand Amy and myself had been through together.<\/p>\n

It took me a full morning emptying the Grand Amy and getting her in returnable condition.<\/p>\n

I wanted her to look good as we parted ways, yo.<\/p>\n

When I arrived at the dealer,<\/p>\n

There was some mild confusion as why I was returning the car for Joe,<\/p>\n

But it really wasn’t a problem …<\/p>\n

He is unavailable you see,<\/em><\/p>\n

And I’m sorta his gopher taking care of things like this from time to time.<\/em> \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n

After signing all the paper work,<\/p>\n

Mainly just initials really, not that much signing …<\/p>\n

I went back outside to check on her one last time,<\/p>\n

And removed the two items I had left in the Grand Amy,<\/p>\n

That I was thinking would make it’s way to the new Amy Mobile:<\/p>\n

Joe’s license plate that he had since 1984, and …<\/p>\n

The picture of my old Wednesday night gang taken the first time we hung out as a group which I always have in the Amy Mobile in the passenger seat visor mirror.<\/p>\n

The car return lease dude took my picture next to the Grand Amy, and …<\/p>\n

I handed them the keys thereafter.<\/p>\n

And that is how the end came for the last item of mine in Joe’s name.<\/p>\n

Pretty wild,<\/p>\n

Yet totally uneventful. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n

\"Final<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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