{"id":1479,"date":"2006-02-20T18:52:39","date_gmt":"2006-02-20T23:52:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=1522"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:35:55","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:35:55","slug":"amys-press-conference-question-five","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2006\/02\/amys-press-conference-question-five\/","title":{"rendered":"Amy’s Press Conference – Question Five"},"content":{"rendered":"

Kelly says:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I’ll bite and give this a try. Here goes: <\/strong><\/p>\n

After two years on hormones (has it been that long already?) and living full time outside of work (I’m a teacher and my gender correction seems to be a problem with the school system, though my principal and fellow teachers know and are supportive) I still look like a guy. Yeah, I look more girly then I did, and my twins look pretty amazing, but the face just screams guy. Short of having FFS (can’t swing that on a teacher’s salary), what’s a girl to do? I see girls like you and I just don’t know if I can pull this off. Need a pick me up in Louisville! <\/strong><\/p>\n

Hey girl ! *hug*<\/p>\n

Let’s see … <\/p>\n

Life is one giant, big ass transition. <\/p>\n

Yuhp, I know … that’s really nothing too deep, <\/p>\n

But hey, <\/p>\n

That’s the greatest level of philosophical depth which I can reach …<\/p>\n

And we just have to deal with it,<\/p>\n

Since I’m the one answer the questions at this Press Conference,<\/p>\n

So stay with me here, kids:<\/p>\n

When a transsexual transitions, it’s really no different than many other transitions in their own life or transitions in natals’ lives … from school to work, from single to married, from spouse to parent, from parent to grandparent, from married to widowed, from married to more married (for those viewers from Utah), from one locale to another … blah, blah, blah.  <\/p>\n

And whether you’re transsexual or natal, some transitions seem more HUGE than others … <\/p>\n

Getting married phreaks some folks out, having children rattles others, getting divorced dysfunctionalizes still others … everyone is different. <\/p>\n

But usually it seems,<\/p>\n

Whenever anyone is in the middle of that HUGE transition of the moment for them,<\/p>\n

The feel like they are stagnating,<\/p>\n

Like things are going oh so slow<\/em>,<\/p>\n

When they really aren’t:<\/p>\n

This divorce is just draaaaaaaggggggging on forever,<\/em><\/p>\n

I feel like I’m going to be pregnant for the rest of my life,<\/em><\/p>\n

Oh my gawd, I’m expected to sleep with them, and only them, for the rest of my life.<\/em><\/p>\n

And really,<\/p>\n

In my humble opiniooooon, <\/p>\n

A transsexual dealing with his or her transsexualism, <\/p>\n

Is really no different than other HUGE types of transitions in a being’s life.<\/p>\n

And my thoughts on what to do in all those HUGE transition cases,<\/p>\n

When a feeling of exasperation appears,<\/p>\n

Is to take a step back and look at what has actually been accomplished.<\/p>\n

And from what you’ve told me in your question,<\/p>\n

Well, chica …<\/p>\n

It doesn’t sound like you’re stagnating at all. <\/p>\n

1. You’ve been on hormones for two years – a lot of girls wish they could say that;<\/p>\n

2. You’ve got some fairly decent breast development – hell, I was never able to say that; and,<\/p>\n

3. You’re living chica outsideda work … which is exactly where I was a mere two annual units of measurement ago. <\/p>\n

You’ve already accomplished a great deal. <\/p>\n

Not to mention, it sounds like you’ve identified you next surgery goal, FFS. <\/p>\n

As far as how you attain the FFS goal, well, you probably know your situation better than anyone, but from a non-financial perspective, I can tell you that once you figure out the finance part of it, as a teacher who I’m speculating gets the summer months off, there are a lot of girls who think you’ve got a great situation because you’ll actually have more flexibility in your calendar to recover. So jot that down as another good thing going for ya.<\/p>\n

Also, if you’re seeing a counselor, talk with them about your FFS goal. If you’re not seeing a counselor, consider meeting with one. They are far more qualified than I to know the details of your situation and may have some useful ideas, suggestions, advice. And yes, I know … me suggesting seeing a counselor is quite ironic. Whatever.  But still, never close opportunities to learn something, just be willing to decide for yourself whether what you’re hearing works for you or not.<\/p>\n

And lastly, consider you this:<\/p>\n

I think FFS is a great option for many of us,<\/p>\n

But I think oftentimes it is more for one’s self-confidence than out of absolute necessity for passing,<\/p>\n

Being able to re-integrate into the world as a woman.<\/p>\n

And the more you’re out and about,<\/p>\n

Just living,<\/p>\n

The more your self-confidence will increase.<\/p>\n

But note,<\/p>\n

Self-confidence in passing and just living is totally different than comparing your appearance to others.<\/p>\n

Just as you said, you “see girls like me and wonder if you’ll [I’ll] ever be able to pull it off<\/em>”,<\/p>\n

Not only was I thinking the exact same thing just a couple of years ago,<\/p>\n

But I still think it often today.<\/p>\n

Those that know me in real life are well aware I don’t pack a bunch of self-confidence about my appearance,<\/p>\n

You see, <\/p>\n

One of the things about being a girl is … <\/p>\n

There’s always another girl of which you’re aware,<\/p>\n

Who is prettier, kuter, and for those of us T, more passable than you. <\/p>\n

We are constantly being judged and compared to other women …<\/p>\n

By others, and quite often, <\/p>\n

By ourselves. <\/p>\n

It just comes with the territory.<\/p>\n

It’s what others do.<\/p>\n

It’s what we do.<\/em><\/p>\n

But just as there are always going to be women prettier than you or me,<\/p>\n

There are also women skank uglier than you or me, too.<\/p>\n

So my advice to you …<\/p>\n

Is make sure you also notice those,<\/p>\n

It’ll help your self-confidence !!! <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Kelly says: I’ll bite and give this a try. Here goes: After two years on hormones (has it been that long already?) and living full time outside of work (I’m a teacher and my gender correction seems to be a problem with the school system, though my principal and fellow teachers know and are supportive)…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[144],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":144,"label":"Press Conference"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":23,"category_info":[{"term_id":144,"name":"Press Conference","slug":"press-conference","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":148,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":16,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":144,"category_count":16,"category_description":"","cat_name":"Press Conference","category_nicename":"press-conference","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1479"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1479\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}