SLAM<\/p>\n
That, dear viewers, was the sound of the back door that leads to my garage …<\/p>\n
Closing shut !<\/p>\n
Heavy Sigh.<\/i><\/p>\n
A quick twist of the door knob confirmed,<\/p>\n
Yuhp,<\/p>\n
I had effectively locked myself out of my house.<\/p>\n
But that’s really no big deal,<\/p>\n
People lock themselves out of their house all the time …<\/p>\n
So if that’s all there was to this Amy Experience,<\/p>\n
I probably wouldn’t share it.<\/p>\n
But noooooooo …<\/p>\n
It’s so within my ability to make the mildest of life’s inconveniences oddly strange,<\/p>\n
And the twist that I brought to the table this time …<\/p>\n
Was that I locked myself out of my house,<\/p>\n
In my garage,<\/p>\n
While I was butt naked.
\n
\nYou see,<\/p>\n
It’s a little known bit of Amy-trivia that I …<\/p>\n
Spend a fair amount of time,<\/p>\n
When I’m at home,<\/p>\n
Alone,<\/p>\n
In the buff.<\/p>\n
Nude I tell ya.<\/p>\n
Nekked.<\/p>\n
Now those that know of my tendency to be sans clothing at home,<\/p>\n
Have occasionally speculated as to the reasoning behind it:<\/p>\n
My Agent, who has never seen me naked, has suggested it is because I’m sort of still in the child-like stage in my transition, and often children do like to run around nude;<\/p>\n
While Others, who also have never seen me nude, have suggested that I’m now finally comfortable with my body and am finding myself wanting to visually confirm to myself that I’m now right; and,<\/p>\n
My Parents, well, yeah, they’ve seen me running around in sort of Bigfoot sighting views. You know, me running into a room when then come over unexpectedly and I think I might have been seen or when I’ve been recovering from surgeries at their house and having to move as quickly as I could to shut a door or run into another room likewise. They really don’t seem to have anything to say on the matter, except laugh, shake their head and confirm, “Yeah, she doesn’t wear clothes much after 9:00 pm.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
However,<\/p>\n
I think the truth about this quirk of Amy nature is considerably less deep.<\/p>\n
For personally,<\/p>\n
I think it’s just because I’m lazy.<\/p>\n
When I get home from work,<\/p>\n
I just don’t want to get another set of clothes dirty,<\/p>\n
That I’ll have to wash and iron.<\/p>\n
So if I’m not going out,<\/p>\n
And it’s going to get dark anytime within 2 – 3 hours,<\/p>\n
I usually just remove my work clothes,<\/p>\n
And don’t replace them with anything.<\/p>\n
Oh sure,<\/p>\n
I suppose I could walk around in my underwear,<\/p>\n
Or have a spare set of casual clothes I just re-use day after day,<\/p>\n
Like shorts and a tee,<\/p>\n
But come-on …<\/p>\n
Where’s the sport in that ?? \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Besides,<\/p>\n
I usually sleep in the nude anyways,<\/p>\n
Except when I’m having my period. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
Anyways,<\/p>\n
What happened here was that it was morning,<\/p>\n
Around 6:00 am – ish,<\/p>\n
And I was going to look for a file in my car to reconfirm what time I had to be in court.<\/p>\n
Having just awaken a short bit earlier,<\/p>\n
Of course I wasn’t wearing anything.<\/p>\n
So there I was …<\/p>\n
Locked in my garage,<\/p>\n
Definitely without many options.<\/p>\n
Mobile phone was in the house,<\/p>\n
And despite having a car cluttered with all sorts of fast food refuse, not a stitch of clothing anywhere …<\/p>\n
Except a pair of skank, wedge sandals which really wouldn’t have looked good with the whole nood thing I had going,<\/p>\n
Unless of course I was going for the professional whore look.<\/p>\n
However,<\/p>\n
In an amazing turn of good fortune …<\/p>\n
Sensing that it was only a matter of time before such a fate would befall me,<\/p>\n
I had asked my mom the day before to make me a couple extra sets of housekeys so I could hide one in my garage (absent a power outage, I can always get in my garage because I have one of those garage door opener keypad do-hickies outside my garage door with a PIN code that anyone with reasonable guessing skills should be able to hack, so I figured I’d hide an extra key inside the garage, making it a little more secure than just hiding it under the flower vase on the porch like my neighbor does that everyone in the ‘hood knows of because we all watch her use that key time and time again).<\/p>\n
And because my mom is the most efficient and best mom around …<\/p>\n
There,<\/p>\n
Resting on the ledge above my back door …<\/p>\n
Was a housekey.<\/p>\n
Whew !!!<\/i> \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Though I can say …<\/p>\n
I thought it was only a temporary pardon at first,<\/p>\n
Because being a brand new key …<\/p>\n
It caused me more than a problem getting it to actually work initially.<\/p>\n
But eventually it did,<\/p>\n
And my neighbors were spared me sitting in my garage …<\/p>\n
Blaring my horn until one came over so I could tell them to call one of my spare key holders !!<\/p>\n
*This post shared in the interest of complete disclosure for when I do butt stupid things and to dork with people’s minds that come over to visit me so they think twice before sitting on any of my furniture :)*<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
SLAM That, dear viewers, was the sound of the back door that leads to my garage … Closing shut ! Heavy Sigh. A quick twist of the door knob confirmed, Yuhp, I had effectively locked myself out of my house. But that’s really no big deal, People lock themselves out of their house all the…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":34,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1403"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1403"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1403\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1403"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1403"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1403"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}