“So Amy, do your friends have a nickname for you?<\/i>” He said, attempting to restart a conversation after failing to impress me with his previous masturbatory back-patting and offers to see his “wonderful” room at the hotel he has for his stay in town.<\/p>\n
*pause*<\/b><\/p>\n
Let’s see,<\/p>\n
Back in the days of boy …<\/p>\n
I had a few nicknames that come quickly to mind:<\/p>\n
Hairdyman<\/i>, Squirrel<\/i>, and Dick<\/i>.<\/p>\n
(seriously, in light of the whole sex change thing, doesn’t that last one just make you laugh !!! LOL)<\/p>\n
Anyways,<\/p>\n
I really don’t think any of them would fly in the current setting.<\/p>\n
And,<\/p>\n
I don’t think sharing that I sometimes go by Amy-Wan Kenobi really counts because I asked people to call me that !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
So I guess it’s time for a little super accelerated improvisatiooooon.<\/p>\n
*resume*<\/p>\n
*a mere .5 seconds later I might add !! :)*<\/b><\/p>\n
“Goo<\/i>,” I said firmly.<\/p>\n
“What?<\/i>” He asked.<\/p>\n
“Goo.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Guuuuuuuu?<\/i>” He prolonged incorrectly.<\/p>\n
“No. Goo,<\/i>” I answered succinctly, without turning my attention away from the television behind the bar.<\/p>\n
“Goo?<\/i>”
\n“Goo.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Goo?<\/i>”
\n“Goo.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Goo.<\/i>” He said proudly, with unknowing, perfect tempo.<\/p>\n
And this completed for my own personal amusement the task of getting him to engage in a conversation of goo goo goo goo.<\/p>\n
Now of course,<\/p>\n
For a pure baby talk conversation …<\/p>\n
Which would have definitely amused me even further,<\/p>\n
I would have needed to work a Gaa Gaa in there some place.<\/p>\n
However,<\/p>\n
That wasn’t my objective in this particular search for entertainment.<\/p>\n
For in this case,<\/p>\n
I really was more interested in sending this dweeb a message that I figured with go over his head,<\/p>\n
Or possibly under it since he did seem to hold himself out as a more elevated, higher being than anyone from my lil’ ol’ hometown.<\/p>\n
So in that brief moment of .5 second reflection …<\/p>\n
I decided to kill two birds with one stone:<\/p>\n
One, I wanted to get Mr. I’m A Smarter Businessman Than Anyone In Your BackAsswards Hometown to use some fairly simplistic, juvenile vocabulary. Similar to the type he had earlier in the evening accused most locals of using; and,<\/p>\n
Two, I wanted to test Mr. I’m A Smarter Businessman Than Anyone In Your BackAsswards Hometown’s skills of observation, which he claimed were so astute, by giving him a not-so-subtle Function reference.<\/p>\n
He successfully cooperated in letting me accomplish both objectives to my satisfaction,<\/p>\n
By not only participating actively, albeit obliviously, in the Goo exchange,<\/p>\n
But by also concluding that my self-claimed Goo nickname was in reference to extreme states of lubricating arousal.<\/p>\n
Whattabutt !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Oh yeah,<\/p>\n
And obviously,<\/p>\n