The month isn’t quite over,<\/p>\n
But the following question has already won …<\/p>\n
Hands down.<\/p>\n
A few weeks ago, at bowling, one of my male friends posed the following:<\/p>\n
Are you wearing granny panties or a teddy? <\/i><\/p>\n
Now first of all … my friend that asked the question, is a totally kewl and funny guy, happy married to another really kewl friend of mine, so the question wasn’t as offensive as it may sound.<\/p>\n
It might have been coming from others,<\/p>\n
But when posed by him …<\/p>\n
It’s crude, tasteless, and really, really funny.<\/p>\n
Traits I enjoy in a joke.<\/p>\n
Besides,<\/p>\n
His delivery was dead-on.<\/p>\n
And honestly …<\/p>\n
I know this might be hard for you to believe,<\/p>\n
But sometimes I make a snarky comment or four …<\/p>\n
Of which occasionally he has been the recipient (just for the record though, a couple of them were really, really, really funny resulting in team high fives all around the table).<\/p>\n
So in light of some of my well chosen commentary I’ve tossed at him …<\/p>\n
I probably deserved a zinger or two being tossed my way.<\/p>\n
However,<\/p>\n
I will admit,<\/p>\n
The question did totally catch me off guard,<\/p>\n
As I was surprised how clueless I’ve become …<\/p>\n
In not realizing that sometimes when I got up to bowl,<\/p>\n
A guy might be checking out my butt.<\/p>\n
I remember what it was like in the old days …<\/p>\n
How when sitting back at the table pretending to be “one of the guys”,<\/p>\n
Every now and then one of the testosteroni chosen would toss out a …<\/p>\n
“GRUNT Check it out dude … no panty lines, no panties !<\/i>” or<\/p>\n
“Thong, she’s definitely wearing a thong I’m telling ya !! SCRATCH YAWN BELCH<\/i>“.<\/p>\n
But yet,<\/p>\n
It hadn’t dawned on me how …<\/p>\n
Now I might be the ass under inspection. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
How soon one forgets.<\/p>\n
Of course,<\/p>\n
The first words out of my mouth were the obviously indignant …<\/p>\n
“I DON’T wear granny panties,<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Followed quickly by the …<\/p>\n
“And besides, what were you doing looking at my butt ??<\/i>”<\/p>\n
To which my friend calmly, bluntly and honestly replied …<\/p>\n
“I’m a guy, that’s what we do.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Hmmmm. Yeah … he’s got a point.<\/p>\n
Accusation and confrontation clearly wasn’t going to get me anywhere,<\/p>\n
So I decided to at least try to get a bit of insight into how the voyeur male mind works.<\/p>\n
“Yeah, I guess I can’t argue with that. Anyways, what makes you think it’s granny panties or a teddy?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Well,<\/p>\n
The fabric certainly suggests a teddy.<\/p>\n
Which was what I initially concluded.<\/p>\n
However, the pantylines along the leg bands seem like they might be a little thick for a teddy,<\/p>\n
And when you bend over to release the ball,<\/p>\n
There also appears to be a wide waist band …<\/p>\n
Which would also be inconsistent with a teddy.<\/p>\n
Definitely mixed signals.<\/p>\n
But I’m still leaning towards it being a teddy, leading me to the obvious follow-up question … is it one with or without snaps?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Wow !<\/p>\n
Seriously,<\/p>\n
That’s like some intense undergarment analysis.<\/p>\n
Not to mention that obviously my Lucky’s may be a bit too tight to allow such detailed forensic-work.<\/p>\n
Now of course,<\/p>\n
The conversation was an open table discussion …<\/p>\n
Mainly for the purpose of generating laughs at one another’s expense,<\/p>\n
Meaning my underwear was soon being discussed not only by my entire bowling team,<\/p>\n
But also by a couple of the guys at the table next to us who tossed out their own thoughts on the topic throughout the rest of the night.<\/p>\n
Apparently some recalled my spirited reply a month<\/s> week<\/s> day or so earlier of …<\/p>\n
“Who said I’m wearing any underwear?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
It’s a sort of goofy strange feeling for me …<\/p>\n
Experiencing how my underwear can be such a focal point of interest.<\/p>\n
Sure,<\/p>\n
I remember how boys talk,<\/p>\n
But to me …<\/p>\n
It’s just underwear for gawd’s sake,<\/p>\n
I really don’t understand why it’s so interesting …<\/p>\n
Besides the fact that it’s fairly skimpy, transparent and suggestive. *shrug* \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Anyways …<\/p>\n
The discussion of my underwear,<\/p>\n
Make me totally self-conscious each and every time I got up to bowl for the rest of the night …<\/p>\n
Causing me to bring my average down a good 10 pins or so.<\/p>\n
Which proved once again that my reason for bowling is certainly not about the bowling,<\/p>\n
But for the laughs associated hanging out with some really kewl, fun people …<\/p>\n
Who are willing to sacrifice the team’s score to mock one of our own !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
As for the answer to the question …<\/p>\n
Well,<\/p>\n
A girl has to have a little mystery about her,<\/p>\n
So all I’m going to state is that …<\/p>\n
I don’t own a single pair of granny panties !<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The month isn’t quite over, But the following question has already won … Hands down. A few weeks ago, at bowling, one of my male friends posed the following: Are you wearing granny panties or a teddy? Now first of all … my friend that asked the question, is a totally kewl and funny guy,…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":13,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1332"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1332\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1332"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1332"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1332"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}