At Moose and Squirrel,<\/p>\n
One of the things that keeps us all humble is admitting to others when we do totally butt stupid things …<\/p>\n
We call it Full Disclosure.<\/p>\n
Like the time Shaft went No. 2 in his pants …<\/p>\n
While driving in the car.<\/p>\n
He didn’t need to tell us it happened,<\/p>\n
And honestly,<\/p>\n
We kind of wish he didn’t.<\/p>\n
But he did,<\/p>\n
And to this day,<\/p>\n
We still give him “crap” about it !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
So in the interests of full disclosure …<\/p>\n
Yesterday …<\/p>\n
I was at the theater with Bro, Sister-in-Law, Nephew 1, and Nephew 2.<\/p>\n
Sister-in-Law in the aisle seat, then Nephew 2, Me, Nephew 1, Bro.<\/p>\n
The movie hadn’t started yet …<\/p>\n
But the lights were dimmed somewhat,<\/p>\n
And we were all scarfing on popcorn,<\/p>\n
Plus me with my frozen Mountain Dew.<\/p>\n
Unfortunately …<\/p>\n
I had a handful of popcorn,<\/p>\n
And believe it or not …<\/p>\n
When I tossed a few towards my outspout of wisdom,<\/p>\n
I missed.<\/p>\n
Yeah, go figure.<\/p>\n
And a couple of the nuggets of cornage dropped down my top and nestled themselves between Amanda and Nicole …<\/p>\n
On top of my bra strap.<\/p>\n
Great.<\/p>\n
Now what am I supposed to do ??<\/p>\n
I mean,<\/p>\n
When that happens and I’m by myself …<\/p>\n
Hell ya I go for it.<\/p>\n
They are my breasts afterall,<\/p>\n
I know where they’ve been. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n
So I looked left out of the corner of my eye …<\/p>\n
Nephew 1 was occupied doing something,<\/p>\n
Gameboy I think …<\/p>\n
He wouldn’t notice.<\/p>\n
Then I looked right out of the corner of my eye …<\/p>\n
Nephew 2 was gabbing with Sister-in-Law,<\/p>\n
He wouldn’t notice.<\/p>\n
So I decided to make my move …<\/p>\n
Guiding my hand upwards toward my top,<\/p>\n
My eyes darting back and forth to make sure neither nephew had changed their previous non-attentiveness.<\/p>\n
I know I moved my hand herky, jerky towards my breasts so I would of been able to wave off at the last minute if so needed.<\/p>\n
And as I was just about to cross the point of no return,<\/p>\n
I suddenly sensed something was not right.<\/p>\n
Quick left … Nephew 1 was still otherwise occupied.<\/p>\n
Quick right … Nephew 2 was still otherwise occupied.<\/p>\n
Must just be my imagination.<\/p>\n
So I decided to …<\/p>\n
Proceed.<\/p>\n
WAIT !!!!!!<\/p>\n
I looked up …<\/p>\n
And there was my brother …<\/p>\n
Standing to my left,<\/p>\n
With his empty tub of popcorn that he apparently had decided to refill before the movie started …<\/p>\n
And the biggest, stupidest-ass grin on one’s face you’ve ever seen.<\/p>\n
“You dropped popcorn down there, didn’t you?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Shut up.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“You were just about to go get it, weren’t you?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Drop it,<\/i>” I reiterated as my face turned what I have to imagine were many shades of red while I crossed my arms over the front of myself and slinked down in my chair.<\/p>\n
“Looks like you already did. Tooooooooo funny,<\/i>” he chortled as he walked past me making his way to the aisle.<\/p>\n
So yes,<\/p>\n
I admit it.<\/p>\n
If I drop popcorn down my top,<\/p>\n
And can get away with it,<\/p>\n
I’ll go on a search and retrieve mission.<\/p>\n
So what !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Anyways, I kept my chin buried in my chest when he returned from the concession station with a new bucket of popcorn,<\/p>\n
And as he passed me …<\/p>\n
While sorta, kinda shaking as he resumed his chortle,<\/p>\n
I tripped him.<\/p>\n
By accident of course !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
At Moose and Squirrel, One of the things that keeps us all humble is admitting to others when we do totally butt stupid things … We call it Full Disclosure. Like the time Shaft went No. 2 in his pants … While driving in the car. He didn’t need to tell us it happened, And…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":7,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1259"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1259\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1259"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1259"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1259"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}