Editor’s Note:<\/b> I keyed this one about 2:30 am Friday morning. I have no changes to or further comments about it. <\/i><\/p>\n
Ya know,<\/p>\n
I sorta kinda think …<\/p>\n
Upon reflectioooooon,<\/p>\n
Something of which I do once a year …<\/p>\n
Regardless of its necessity \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude1b<\/p>\n
That there was the expectation,<\/p>\n
When it came to commiting to hanging out this year on Wednesday night …<\/p>\n
That I would chicken out,<\/p>\n
And not want to participate.<\/p>\n
That would have been the easy solution for everyone else …<\/p>\n
That way any discomfort they would have felt by my presence,<\/p>\n
Would never have to be conveyed to me.<\/p>\n
My removal from the scene would have been my decision,<\/p>\n
My feelings wouldn’t have been hurt,<\/p>\n
And discomfort avoided.<\/p>\n
However, over the past year and a half …<\/p>\n
Singer, Hottie, Sister and Miss Daisy have been the best of friends,<\/p>\n
Including me in activities …<\/p>\n
Getting me out and about,<\/p>\n
More and more in the world …<\/p>\n
While never letting me get comfortable in a setting.<\/p>\n
Pushing the limits of my comfort zone …<\/p>\n
To get me to the point of doing what I had always done,<\/p>\n
Except this time as me.<\/p>\n
And let’s be real …<\/p>\n
Sometimes I was nervous as all get out,<\/p>\n
So phreaking uncomfortable I could barely move …<\/p>\n
But they really wouldn’t cut me any slack …<\/p>\n
If I said “I really don’t think I can do that. I’m just not comfortable there yet<\/i>“,<\/p>\n
They’d toss right back at me, “You’re going to do it. You have no choice. You just can’t hide and avoid, you’ve been doing that too long.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
And actually sometimes, the words of encouragement to me were even a bit harsher !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
Seeing them all for the first time, going to Mamma Mia, being the first at the bar, meeting more of their friends, hanging out at Sister’s house, being the one sent on beer runs, meeting Coach, meeting more of their friends, going to more and more popular bars …<\/p>\n
Almost every outing seemed to create a new twist.<\/p>\n
I became accustomed to being uncomfortable,<\/p>\n
But having no choice other than to face it …<\/p>\n
If I wanted to maintain and continue my friendship with these incredibly amazing people.<\/p>\n
So I faced it,<\/p>\n
Each time …<\/p>\n
Taking a deep breath,<\/p>\n
And trying to not act as scared to death as I was feeling.<\/p>\n
Now certainly,<\/p>\n
It would not have been easy for me to walk into the bowling alley that first week …<\/p>\n
I would have been as scared, nervous and uncomfortable as you can possibly imagine,<\/p>\n
Just as uncomfortable as anyone else there I’m sure …<\/p>\n
‘Cause face it,<\/p>\n
It’s me that’s having the sex change.<\/p>\n
But I knew the ramifications if I didn’t step up and go,<\/p>\n
And as such, decided to do it.<\/p>\n
I knew full well I’d be a wreck for a while,<\/p>\n
But that it’d be more than worth it in the long run …<\/p>\n
To preserve my association with my friends.<\/p>\n
Plus,<\/p>\n
I’ve grown so accustomed to being in uncomfortable situations as part of the experience of transition …<\/p>\n
That I knew I’d face and survive this uncomfortable one too.<\/p>\n
Ironic, huh?<\/p>\n
By continually pushing my comfort limits …<\/p>\n
When they wanted me to blink …<\/p>\n
I didn’t.<\/p>\n
They created a monster ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
So ultimately …<\/p>\n
The trump card had to be played.<\/p>\n
My loyalty to family and friends,<\/p>\n
Concern for their feelings …<\/p>\n
Is never something doubted.<\/p>\n
All that had to be said was that I’d make just one of them uncomfortable …<\/p>\n
And it was guaranteed I’d offer to remove myself from the situation.<\/p>\n
So it happened as it happened …<\/p>\n
I was told I’d make some uncomfortable,<\/p>\n
I said I’d remove myself from the picture …<\/p>\n
And there wasn’t even a token attempt to talk me out of it.<\/p>\n
I had already been scratched from the line-up …<\/p>\n
Long before I even knew it.<\/p>\n
I don’t know why,<\/p>\n
But for some reason that actually makes me feel better.<\/p>\n
*shrug*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Editor’s Note: I keyed this one about 2:30 am Friday morning. I have no changes to or further comments about it. Ya know, I sorta kinda think … Upon reflectioooooon, Something of which I do once a year … Regardless of its necessity \ud83d\ude42 \ud83d\ude1b That there was the expectation, When it came to commiting…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":11,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1129"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1129\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1129"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1129"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1129"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}