{"id":1127,"date":"2004-09-18T13:57:20","date_gmt":"2004-09-18T18:57:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/amynews.com\/?p=1117"},"modified":"2015-10-08T17:38:10","modified_gmt":"2015-10-08T21:38:10","slug":"whats-the-line","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/2004\/09\/whats-the-line\/","title":{"rendered":"What’s The Line?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note:<\/b> This is a post I wrote Wednesday morning about 10:00 am, with the exception of one small edit which I made Thursday morning (noted below).<\/i><\/p>\n

I’m not writing this post to elicit any comments, criticisms, or support …<\/p>\n

Of me or others.<\/p>\n

In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever publish this post.<\/p>\n

But for the time being at least,<\/p>\n

I hate Wednesdays now …<\/p>\n

For obvious reasons.<\/p>\n

On one hand,<\/p>\n

I don’t want to find something new to do on Wednesday nights …<\/p>\n

Because that makes me feel weak,<\/p>\n

Not strong enough to endure what I’m feeling from being ostracized<\/a> …<\/p>\n

Deemed radioactive. (Editor’s Note:<\/b> This is the line I added Thursday morning. It’ll make more sense later … promise ! \ud83d\ude42<\/i>)<\/p>\n

But at the same time,<\/p>\n

I’m still sort of in the habit of expecting to do just that …<\/p>\n

Seeing them and hanging out.<\/p>\n

Already twice today I found myself planning things I have to get done …<\/p>\n

And thinking I have to take care of them before 5:00 pm,<\/p>\n

Because I have the tailgate tonight.<\/p>\n

I know such a thought process,<\/p>\n

Will diminish in time.<\/p>\n

But in the meantime,<\/p>\n

It’s still …<\/p>\n

Ugh.<\/p>\n

Because for now,<\/p>\n

The habit of expecting to have plans for Wednesday night …<\/p>\n

Is reminding me that for some …<\/p>\n

Denying I am a friend,<\/p>\n

Is preferable to me being their friend.<\/p>\n

Anyways,<\/p>\n

If you want to bet on a sure thing,<\/p>\n

Put your money on me seeking validation tonight.<\/p>\n

Editor’s Note:<\/b> You would of won the bet. \ud83d\ude42<\/i><\/p>\n

Editor’s Self-Analysis:<\/b> You know, I take a fair amout of flack because of my validation activities, my solo excursions to find social activity. Besides concerns for my safety, I think people take issue with them at times because they tend to be reactionary … my response to difficult situations I encounter during my transition.<\/p>\n

Now I admit, when I find my being challenged, denigrated by others whose opinion of me means something to me, I often seek positive feedback from total strangers … to make up for the assault.<\/p>\n

I can’t force anyone to like me. And if someone chooses not to, that’s their choice. But oftentimes, I can find people that do like me, if they aren’t distracted by my history. People I don’t make feel uncomfortable with my presence, but who in fact enjoy my company.<\/p>\n

It’s unfortunate sometimes it has to come from strangers, but if it does, it does. Never underestimate the kindness of strangers.<\/p>\n

Editor’s Clarification: <\/b> Contrary to speculation, validating does not mean tramping. It’s not about finding a guy and making out. It’s about going out and finding someone to talk with me who isn’t bothered that I’m a woman, but appreciates it. Most of the time it’s nothing more than just drinks, talking and maybe some dancing. Sometimes it’s more, but remember …<\/p>\n

I’m a tease, not a tramp. And my mom and dad read this junk … so I’m not about to tell everything !! \ud83d\ude42<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: This is a post I wrote Wednesday morning about 10:00 am, with the exception of one small edit which I made Thursday morning (noted below). I’m not writing this post to elicit any comments, criticisms, or support … Of me or others. In fact, I’m not sure I’ll ever publish this post. But…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":3,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1127"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1127"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1127\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1127"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1127"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1127"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}