before<\/a> …<\/p>\nThe North Korean General who we turned for his military secrets …<\/p>\n
That now purports to work in my office building feigning the occupation as a proprietor of a tailor shop.<\/p>\n
We came to the conclusion he is actually a commie General since …<\/p>\n
Though it’s his tailor shop,<\/p>\n
No one has ever seen him working,<\/p>\n
Yet after five years,<\/p>\n
He’s still in business.<\/p>\n
Instead, it seems he is in the business of collecting information and passing it along,<\/p>\n
And he’s good at it.<\/p>\n
The person we always go to if we want to know anything about anybody or anything in our little section of downtown.<\/p>\n
Actually, he’s a decent guy, not bad at all for a commie General,<\/p>\n
Though we are convinced he’s killed people in his past.<\/p>\n
Now as part of his information acquiring routine,<\/p>\n
He’s always standing outside the building smoking a cigarette, talking with the construction crew building the parking garage next to our building, new art museum (why?? WHY ??? Why do we need a new art museum ??) across the street, or just passer-by’s in general.<\/p>\n
He’s not afraid to ask anyone questions,<\/p>\n
And does he ever ask the questions !!!<\/p>\n
Collecting information … that’s what he does.
\n
\nIf not smoking,<\/p>\n
He’s at the coffee shop next door,<\/p>\n
Doing the same thing …<\/p>\n
Sitting there,<\/p>\n
Listening …<\/p>\n
Or piping up when he wants to be blunt.<\/p>\n
Sometimes he trades for information … “I’ll tell you who he’s sleeping with, but you have to give me some knowledge in return<\/i>“,<\/p>\n
But most of the time he just takes it for free.<\/p>\n
On the rare chance he’s in his store,<\/p>\n
He’s still not tailoring …<\/p>\n
But running through his collection of illegals that he trades in as a side business.<\/p>\n
Honest to gawd, each week he has a new “apprentice” tailor …<\/p>\n
Always an attractive young woman who does not speak a lick of American,<\/p>\n
And never returns the following Monday.<\/p>\n
Damn … he has a pretty good life in the witness protection program.<\/p>\n
Anyways …<\/p>\n
The past several months, he’s been very frustrated about identifying the whereabouts of Joe Hairdy.<\/p>\n
It started earlier this year after he and some of the regulars at the coffee shop saw “some attorney with a pony tail<\/i>” walking into our building.<\/p>\n
“Who was that?<\/i>” He asked relentlessly, cornering me often as I was entering our building or demanding an answer furiously each morning when I stopped into the coffee shop for my regular cup o’ joe.<\/p>\n
“We know they’re a lawyer,<\/i>” he said, confirming that others in the coffee shop recognized the person as an attorney, “but no one can remember their name.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Hell, I don’t know,<\/i>” I said probably 2 dozen times over a 4 week period, “I’ll have to ask Shaft if he was working with them.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Near the end, he was simply getting darn right angry with me … I was clearly withholding information he wanted, and we both knew it.<\/p>\n
But then I disappeared two months ago …<\/p>\n
Ceasing my downtown presence while isolating myself at Dagobah.<\/p>\n
Well, early last week, the General cornered Shaft inquiring about my whereabouts.<\/p>\n
“Where is Joe?<\/i>” he demanded.<\/p>\n
“What do you mean, he’s around, he’s just been busy,<\/i>” Shaft tossed back at him.<\/p>\n
“No he hasn’t, no one has seen him. Not around here, not getting coffee. Where is he?<\/i>” He reasserted.<\/p>\n
“Yeah he has, he’s been around.<\/i>” Shaft answered, rationalizing it as a non-lie as I had been there … just after hours and on the weekend.<\/p>\n
Now obviously, the General is one of the reasons that I’ve been avoiding going into the office …<\/p>\n
Because the second he confirms,<\/p>\n
It’ll be broadcast around the world.<\/p>\n
Seriously,<\/p>\n
Within 10 minutes Kim Chong-il will probably be mentioning to someone …<\/p>\n
“Say, did you hear Joe is having a sex change?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“Who is Joe?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know, but the General just called me with the information.<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Well, Thursday of last week, we had some issues going down in the office where it would just be easier if I was there to discuss it with the others (our lease was up and we were in the process of deciding what to do … should we stay or should we go) …<\/p>\n
So I felt it would make sense to leave Dagobah and go into the office,<\/p>\n
Despite knowing that the General would be on the lookout.<\/p>\n
Well, Thursday went well …<\/p>\n
I didn’t see him once,<\/p>\n
And it was really nice to actually be around Shaft & Co.,<\/p>\n
Doing what we normally do …<\/p>\n
Argue, mock ourselves, mock others, and laugh,<\/p>\n
Not necessarily in that order.<\/p>\n
So Friday I figured …<\/p>\n
What the heck,<\/p>\n
I’ve got one client to meet and I was going to do a housecall for that,<\/p>\n
But I could probably just ask them to come down to my office …<\/p>\n
And hey, it’d be easier for me.<\/p>\n
Well …<\/p>\n
Entry into the building during the morning was uneventful,<\/p>\n
But then we left for lunch …<\/p>\n
And,<\/p>\n
Well, that’s a risk situation.<\/p>\n
Because you’re exiting the building blind …<\/p>\n
Unable to see if the General is standing by his basement entry door looking up to see what was going on at sidewalk level.<\/p>\n
And of course,<\/p>\n
On Friday afternoon …<\/p>\n
He was,<\/p>\n
And we made dead-on eye contact.<\/p>\n
Now one of the things we learn in girl school (calm down people, I’m just was being facetious about girl school) …<\/p>\n
Is how to gracefully, quickly, while conveying disinterest …<\/p>\n
Extract oneself from accidental eye contact situations with guys.<\/p>\n
Yeah, yeah, yeah …<\/p>\n
I know,<\/p>\n
You’re saying …<\/p>\n
“When has Amy ever not struck up a conversation with a guy with whom she’s made accidental eye contact?<\/i>”<\/p>\n
Well, granted …<\/p>\n
It doesn’t happen often, as I tend to be friendly …<\/p>\n
But if the guy is drunk or obviously a jerk,<\/p>\n
I have utilized the tactic.<\/p>\n
And I did in this encounter with the General …<\/p>\n
While proceeding on my way to meet up with Shaft for lunch.<\/p>\n
I had no idea if he made any recognition …<\/p>\n
But in order to make the whole “graceful, quick, disinterested<\/i>” move work …<\/p>\n
You have to believe in it,<\/p>\n
Moving onward without hesitation or a look back.<\/p>\n
Too funny …<\/p>\n
Seriously,<\/p>\n
You gotta love the predictability of the General …<\/p>\n
I knew I couldn’t go two days without running into him.<\/p>\n
And then,<\/p>\n
Later in the afternoon …<\/p>\n
As I was leaving for the day,<\/p>\n
I exited the building as I always do,<\/p>\n
And made the quick glance out of the corner of my eye to see if the General was out smoking again …<\/p>\n
Nope, nada …<\/p>\n
He wasn’t by his basement door.<\/p>\n
So I made my way to the parking garage …<\/p>\n
And just as a got to the corner of our building,<\/p>\n
Out of the adjacent alley I hear …<\/p>\n
“ooooeee, ooooooee, ooooooeee<\/i>”<\/p>\n
And see the General smiling, waving and walking towards me,<\/p>\n
From his alley hiding place.<\/p>\n
Oh well, let’s see …<\/p>\n
How shall I respond?<\/p>\n
I know …<\/p>\n
I’ll go with the bluff,<\/p>\n
Not respond to the name and just see if I can ignore and walk my way out of this.<\/p>\n
So I continued walking down the sidewalk as he made his way towards me.<\/p>\n
Moments later,<\/p>\n
We intersected at the sidewalk,<\/p>\n
With him cutting me off,<\/p>\n
Stepping right in front of me.<\/p>\n
“Moe, Moe, Moe !<\/i>” He yells as he waves to some guy across the street.<\/p>\n
Hehe … sweet.<\/p>\n
So I step around the General,<\/p>\n
With a bit of attitude because he did rudely cut me off,<\/p>\n
And didn’t even say “Excuse me<\/i>” or “I’m sorry<\/i>.”<\/p>\n
So I tossed out an annoyed eye roll,<\/p>\n
With complimentary upper lip sneer,<\/p>\n
As I walked between him and his friend Moe on the other side of the street with whom he was attempting to carry on a conversation.<\/p>\n
Now,<\/p>\n
I have no idea if he put 2 and 2 together,<\/p>\n
But for the luv of gawd,<\/p>\n
He certainly got two really good views of me to make the connection …<\/p>\n
One with eye contact,<\/p>\n
And one where we actually bumped into one another.<\/p>\n
But the way I look at it is …<\/p>\n
Either he finally figured it out, or …<\/p>\n
I had a leading role in one of his phreaky fantasies that night.<\/p>\n
And I for one,<\/p>\n
Am more disturbed with the latter ! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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