It’s really hard for me to go into the office now.<\/p>\n
Very difficult.<\/p>\n
And when I go into the office …<\/p>\n
It creates an extreme stress situation for me.<\/p>\n
Now generally speaking,<\/p>\n
I feel very little stress just being out and about as myself.<\/p>\n
(Actually, it probably wouldn’t hurt me to feel a bit more stress about being out and about than I really do. :))<\/p>\n
Not to mention,<\/p>\n
It’s not like I feel unwelcomed in my offices …<\/p>\n
I’ve been treated very well by the others there.<\/p>\n
But nonetheless,<\/p>\n
Going into my office,<\/p>\n
Is just so phreaking hard.
\n
\nThe previous two weeks were not good for me …<\/p>\n
I was in discomfort from the breast surgery,<\/p>\n
I had some post-op blues,<\/p>\n
And I had a ton of emotions that I was attempting to monitor and maintain while I was experiencing, as Caitlin would say …<\/p>\n
The snowball of transition accelerating its roll down the hill in a seemingly out of control fashion and being along just for the ride.<\/i><\/p>\n
Yeah … a lot of stuff has been happening in my life the past two weeks !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
I feel like the ball in a pin ball machine bouncing all over the place,<\/p>\n
Yet all that was easily within my ability to handle.<\/p>\n
So last Friday,<\/p>\n
When I found myself giving away two Van Halen tickets to Sister and Miss Daisy,<\/p>\n
Despite the phact that I really did want to go to the concert as part of my Reliving The 80’s tour …<\/p>\n
I knew that the stress exhaustion I was experiencing was much more than just the normal angst related feelings one must deal with during transition.<\/p>\n
And I suspected I knew what was the cause …<\/p>\n
Going into the office as me.<\/p>\n
And while being me is nice and easy,<\/p>\n
Going into the office as me …<\/p>\n
Was an added level of stress because …<\/p>\n
I’m still not “out” at work or life in general.<\/p>\n
Despite the fact that it’s been like three weeks since I’ve last done the boy thing …<\/p>\n
And have absolutely no desire not interest in doing it again period,<\/p>\n
I’ve still got a few situations and matters where I may need to do boy,<\/p>\n
And still have people that I need to tell,<\/p>\n
Family, friends and others.<\/p>\n
So going into the office was becoming an increasing risk factor for me.<\/p>\n
Not good.<\/p>\n
And I don’t mean because of the increasing risk factor,<\/p>\n
But because of what it was doing to me …<\/p>\n
‘Cause face it kids,<\/p>\n
Anyone transitioning has enough stress in their life,<\/p>\n
I don’t need to voluntarily put myself into situations where I’m creating even more stress for myself.<\/p>\n
So after coming to this realization over the weekend,<\/p>\n
I found myself with a couple of options:<\/p>\n
1.) The obvious one that most of you are probably screaming at me by now … Just Do It … out myself to all and let the cards fall where they will. <\/i><\/p>\n
Yeah, I understand … that is an attractive option. And at this point in my life, it’d be sorta like the “just rip the bandage off” approach, it’d hurt for a brief bit and then the pain would probably be over. But working for oneself, running one’s own business for the most part … is different than if I worked for someone else. I have what I perceive as additional responsibilities and demands … which is why for the most part I’ve implemented a rather complicated, step-by-step transition plan. In doing so, I’ve been able to meet those additional responsibilities and demands thus far and will continue to be able to do so. And tossing that to the side when I’m so close, after coming so far, makes this a less attractive option for me.<\/p>\n
2. Stop going into the office.<\/i><\/p>\n
Well … as we found out when I first started living life as me in all places but work, through the joys of technology … I can do an awful amount of work from my home office and there is really little difference between me working in the office or working at home.<\/p>\n
Oh, except for the fact I don’t have to worry about salesmen, private investigators, long forgotten clients, not long forgotten clients, friends and all sorts of other similar encounters with people that I don’t want to encounter just yet that seem to happen unexpectedly and randomly when I am in the office.<\/p>\n
So I chose the second option.<\/p>\n
And with some great cooperation from Shaft and OBP covering some court appearances for me …<\/p>\n
I have been able to work from home all week and …<\/p>\n
Much more productively than I had been the past few weeks,<\/p>\n
Monday and Tuesday both found me having extremely good work days ! Yeah savings account !! \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
I don’t know how long I’ll continue doing such …<\/p>\n
Of course, I’ll have to go into work sometimes during the day,<\/p>\n
And I have been going in at night to take care of mail and paperwork,<\/p>\n
But for now …<\/p>\n
It’s an approach that has certainly improved my attitude and spirits. \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It’s really hard for me to go into the office now. Very difficult. And when I go into the office … It creates an extreme stress situation for me. Now generally speaking, I feel very little stress just being out and about as myself. (Actually, it probably wouldn’t hurt me to feel a bit more…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[139],"tags":[],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":139,"label":"General"}]},"featured_image_src_large":false,"author_info":{"display_name":"Amy","author_link":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/author\/amy\/"},"comment_info":15,"category_info":[{"term_id":139,"name":"General","slug":"general","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":143,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":0,"count":775,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":139,"category_count":775,"category_description":"","cat_name":"General","category_nicename":"general","category_parent":0}],"tag_info":false,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1031"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1031\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1031"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1031"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/amynews.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1031"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}