When I transitioned,
My first name and last name were both changed.
And acclimating to my new first name took some time:
Seemed like it took me forever to stop turning in response upon hearing my Version 1.0 name being called out to someone else;
And it felt as if it took just as long to get me to respond to my Version 2.0 name if I had even the slightest of Coors Light buzzes.
Though with the passage of time,
My new first name has become second nature,
And my old one foreign.
I have noticed something sorta, kinda, what-I-think is weird about me and my relationship with my new last name.
Seems like whenever someone asks me if I’m related to someone with my new last name, I say …
“No” way too quickly.
I swear, a couple of times I didn’t even wait for them to finish identifying of whom they are asking before I offered a curt …
“No, I’m not.”
Granted, I suppose a little impatience is understandable, since I do know the answer:
I’m just not related to anyone with my new last name regardless of whether they are from East Town, West Side, North Shore, South Bama,
Or anywhere else.
But though understandable, I certainly don’t think even a little impatience is appropriate,
Since the question is asked with friendly interest.
And as I do like conversing with pholks,
It doesn’t make much sense that I would suddenly develop an impatience issue because of this simple query.
I don’t think my impatience with such a question has anything to do with having to create a surname past on the fly,
As I’m usually pretty good about feigning whatever needs to be feigned when responding to questions of Amy-History.
I think my impatience with the question is because when the answer to such a question is always “No“,
One never gets the opportunity to enjoy a comfort feel of family identity when you are able to say,
That someone is your grandfather, grandmother, dad, mom, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin,
So I think the unexpected impatience I display in such a situation is that I am reacting to the question in the same manner as I do to the slight discomfort to removing a super adhesive bandage,
Just rip if off quickly to get it over.
I can be such a tool at times.
Now that I have created a reasonably acceptable rationalization, at least to me, for my unexpected impatience,
I will henceforth add some pause,
And exhibit thoughtful recollection,
As I contemplate whether or not I am related to whomever such an inquiry is about.
Oh, for those wondering …
“No, I’m not.“