I know nothing about cars.
I’ll admit it.
Though in the old days,
I got the presumption of knowledge bestowed upon me,
And could fake it fairly well.
Recently I had to get the oil changed in Jayne.
When I pulled in the oil change place,
The oil change technician walked up to my car and started the checklist of questions they ask:
Will you please turn your car off?
How you been here with us before?
What’s your name?
Blah blah blah
Eventually he got to the point of trying to sell me synthetic oil,
Fuel Injection krap,
Some air/gas/filter valve thing,
Oh yeah, and …
I have no klue,
So it’s my policy to say “No“.
But then he posed a question caught me off guard …
“Did your husband tell you what type of oil to put in the car this time?“
I was like,
What the phuck?
Where did that come from …
Oh. That’s right,
I’m wearing my fake wedding/engagement ring set,
I wore out the night before,
Best $9.95 I ever spent.
Guess he thinks I’m married.
May as well have a little fun.
“Vaseline“, I said, straight faced as one can deliver in such a situation.
“I think you mean Valvoline. I meant the grade, like 10W30. That’s what you have in it now.” He offered, amused.
“I don’t think so, I’m pretty sure he said Vaseline, my husband that is.” I countered, krazy talk.
“Well, there’s no such thing as Vaseline oil, Vaseline is a petroleum jelly. Valvoline is a brand of oil.” He provided.
“You sure seem to know a lot about Vaseline.” I tossed out for the heck of it.
“Yeah, we say the same.” someone placing air in my tires yelled.
“Hmmm, 10W30 ma’am? I recommend 10W30.” He suggested.
“I don’t know, I better check.” I said, pretending to call someone. “Hey honey, what type of … what? Third drawer from the top to the left of the range. Hey, what type of earl did you want in the car? Okay. Hello.“
“He said Vaseline.” I offered as I set my phone down.
“Did he want 10W30?“
“He didn’t say, he just told me to remind you to wipe, whatever that means.“
“Ummm, I’m not sure.“
“Wow, don’t you think it would have just been a lot easier to ask me if I just wanted the same oil type I had before, or maybe recommend something different if you thought better, rather than have to deal with this whole ‘what did my husband tell me?’ situation?“
“Kewl, 10W30, then. And don’t forget to wipe.“
Next time, I’m sending my husband to do that chore ! 🙂