Salvage Title

So recently,

I found myself in need of a new Amy Mobile,

Obviously. πŸ™‚

Now historically,

Whenever the lease on my car was set to expire,

Something like the following would transpire …

Me, calling Dad on the phone:Hey Dad, my lease is about to expire, can you go to the dealership and work a deal on a new one for me.

Dad:When do you have to turn your car back?



Me:Better than today.

Dad:Want anything different this time?

Me:Nope, same is good.

Dad:What color?

Me:I’d like white, but a light color of any sorts is fine.

Dad:I’ll see what I can do.

Me:Thanks !

I’d then go down to the dealership the next day,

Sign the papers,

And quite often go and look see for the first time what car I just committed myself driving for 2 – 3 years.

So if you haven’t figured it out yet,

I really don’t put much effort into my transportation selection.

Shaft says I have a pedestrian taste in vehicles,

And if that means I just don’t care,

Then he’s right.

All I want is reliable,

And some basic creature comforts … power windows, power locks, air.

Other than that,


In fact,

When people would ask me what kind of car I was next going to get,

I’d often say “whatever my future husband wants to give me. Probably the car he’s driving now and then he can just get a new one.

And I’m honestly not saying that just to add another reason to the quite expansive list of why I would be the perfect chica for a guy that could get over My Function .

The logic just makes complete sense to me,


First of all,

Though I don’t care what I’m driving, guys do, way too much. So more than likely the car my future husband would be driving would be something he’d have spent a ton of time thinking about and deliberating on to make sure he had just the right ride, which is substantially more energy than I’d put into that particular thought process (I spend my energies overanalyzing other things. πŸ™‚ )

Then second of all,

Guys take care of their cars much better than I do.

A used hand me down car from a future husband is more likely than not going to be a nice step up for me from the condition in which I have kept whatever vehicle is currently in my possession.


With that being said …

I do tend to be a Pontiac girl.

I love Pontiacs,

They are a nice combination of fast food, superficial sporty and decent reliability.

And my Pontiac of choice …

Is the Grand Am.

Since 1985,

I’ve owed or leased nothing but Grand Ams or Aleros (The Alero being the Oldsmobile equivalent of a Grand Am, built on the Grand Am frame), except for a two car period where I tried Fords,

Seven or Eight Grand Ams/Aleros in all.


The geniuses that they are at General Motors,

Shut down the entire Oldsmobile line – so getting an Alero styled Grand Am is impossible,

And then this year the GM Brainless Trust stopped making the Grand Am in the Pontiac line.


It’s my komplete expectation that the last line GM will close down is the Buick line,

Where every time someone over 100 dies they lose a potential customer.

Gawd, are they good at market analysis.

No …

I’m not bitter that they stopped production of my beloved Grand Am,

Not bitter at all. πŸ™‚


I figured I’d make a go at another Pontiac,

Preferrably a Grand Prix, for the obvious and foremost reason that I could pronounce it Grand Pricks and I think that’s funny. *snicker*


Considering the fact that I was so far over miles on my last lease,

As it seems like I’m driving more and more miles these days,

I decided to consider purchasing a car this time,

Instead of leasing one.

And …

Since I really didn’t want to pay an obscene quantity of money for a car,

I decided to shop around for a used one,

To see what the options were.

In theory,

This could bring a Grand Am option back into play.

Yay !!! πŸ™‚

So I asked around,

Talked around,

Made inquiries,

And after a while …

A person I knew had a lead on an amazing Grand Prix:


GT loaded with all sorts of krap, and …

Only 20,000 miles.

The catch though …

Was that it was a salvage title car,

Which in my home state means that it was in an accident,

And the insurance company totaled it,

Deciding that it was just cheaper to pay the insured money to buy a completely new replacement car,

Than pay the costs involved in trying to repair the car in the accident.

So yes,

It was damaged goods.

But since I’ve actually heard myself referred to as such,

I decided to give the “damaged goods” a fair assessment,

It’s the least I could do, chilly.

Now I’ll have to admit,

The first time I saw the Grand Pricks …

On our first date,

I was impressed.

It was phreaking hot !!!

Apparently it’s Sport Red in color,

Though in my reality it looked sort of what I’d call brunette with deep red highlights,

(It would be nice to see what color it really was,

But I’ll take the word of others than it was Sport Red and looked good,


I definitely would have preferred it being a color I could see …

White, or maybe …

Black, or possibly a nice …


Anyways …

It was all shinied up to sell,

So the klear koat was looking good and sparkly.

And it was definitely tricked out,

Having every conceivable option that one could get on a Grand Prix with the single exception of OnStar,

Which it was lacking.

I liked the car enough after our first date,

That I agreed to go out again.

So we made arrangements to get together a few days later.

And when we did,

I took the opportunity to have it checked out thoroughly:

Apparently there was no damage to the frame or engine or anything like that in its accident,

Guess it was just the front passenger site quarter panel, front passenger door and rear passenger door that suffered the damage and had to be replaced, fixed up.

That was encouraging.

As we continued to get along,

The car and I then decided to spend a weekend together,

To give me a chance to drive it hard,

Get a feel for it. πŸ˜‰

Which I did,

Wow !!!

Sport Red car with plenty of power …

I could so see myself contributing to my home counties’ speeding ticket collection plate. πŸ™‚

We were klicking,

So I figured I’d take the plunge,

And introduce it to some of my friends.

Yikes, what will my friends think about this car I’m driving ??? I hope they will all get along !!! πŸ™‚

It went good,

And I got positive feedback generally,

Until …

I told them of its past,

Its Function.

Not good,

So not good.

Exactly the phreaking reason why I don’t date anyone in my hometown,

And only date guys that know My Function .

Now granted,

I have somewhat heightened sensitivities to this particular issue,

But every time someone said:

You know, that’s really not a Pontiac you’d be getting, it’s just some mechanic’s best effort to make it look like a Pontiac.

I heard:

You know, you’re not really a girl, you’re just some doctor’s best effort to make you look like a girl.

When the words uttered were:

You know, when you get a car with a history like that, it’s just all the more likely you’re going to have problems in the future, they are never fixed right.

I heard:

You know, with a history like that, you’re going to have problems with her in the future, she just can’t be right.

Or in the case of:

What are you even thinking about, are you nuts? It’s a salvage title car !

I heard:

What are you even thinking about, are you nuts? It’s a guy !

Now granted,

Most of my friends that met the car,

Could soon figure out that the car and I were bonding,

Definitely “In Like”.

So they would make an effort to soften their comments some,

But it was still very, very clear …

They didn’t approve.

I hope it works out for you two” was definitely followed by a unspoken, but loud “but I’m not optimistic about it.

Though here’s the thing,

Once you do the whole sex change thing,

You really do learn to think for yourself.

So despite the generally across the board disapproval of the car among my friends,

The reality is:

They didn’t know the car,

They hadn’t had it checked out like I had,

They weren’t the ones paying for it, and …

They weren’t the ones that were going to be putting probably 100,000 miles on it, spending more time with it than pretty much anyone else.

And other than concerns about Its Function,

I really never heard any convincing knock about it.


My parents liked it,

Which was good.


It was even one of the few American cars that was on the recommended used car list at Consumers Report.

(Granted, when I tossed that tidbit out in an attempt to suggest I did my homework, you know the response: “That’d be great if it was a Grand Prix, but it just looks like a Grand Prix, it’s not a Grand Prix.” Nice, yeah, I get the point … it’s the car version of a transsexual.)


I decided to attempt to negotiate a deal.

There was a number I had in mind,

And that’s what I’d do.

Now I’m not going to get into any of my negotiating philosophies,


Or opinions,

Those are trade secrets, ya know. πŸ™‚

But I will say that I do firmly believe in the negotiating principal that:

As soon as you want something too much,

And aren’t willing to walk away from the deal,

You’re no longer negotiating.

You have to always be willing to walk away from the deal if it doesn’t meet your terms.

And though the seller and I tried very hard to get something to work out,

We weren’t able to agree on a number,

And broke up over $150.00.

So obviously,

I started dating other cars,

Many other cars,

Many, many other cars,

Including a few Grand Ams,

Because I was on the rebound and all. πŸ˜‰


Much to my surprise and subsequent happiness,

The seller of the car and I were able to later revisit the issue,

And the Grand Pricks and I got back together.

A salvage title car for a salvage title girl.

We’re very happy together,

I must say !!! πŸ™‚

So everyone,

Please say ‘hola’ to the latest incarnation of the AmyMobile …

The Grand Pricks !!! πŸ™‚

Grand Pricks - Smudge

Some of ya’ll may even get to ride in it when I’m playing Chicago Taxi Biaatch if you’re in town, though be forewarned, all those rumors of my questionable driving abilities … well, they are based on something !! But hey, I promise I’ll try to keep the AmyMobile cleaner this go around !!! πŸ™‚

Picture in Jane - Smudged

Me putting the Picture of 5 in the Passenger Seat Visor of the new AmyMobile. πŸ™‚

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  1. Nice Car aims.

    I acually leased a smaller car, it was either a big car with nothing on it or a small car with everything on it (a Renault Clio). So I choose the smaller one, it’s not like a have a whole bunch of kids to transport around (like none). You should have seen the guys at the office, they all choose the bigger one with less features. I even had a collegue making threats about leaving if he wasn’t allowed to get a bigger one. Jeesz, come on, it’s a car, it needs to drive and it needs to be comfortable. But then I only drive 10.000 miles a year in it … not even close to your milage, and you can drive from one side of the netherlands to the other side in 3 hours. So my rides are ‘short’ by american standards.

  2. Amy,

    All my dates with men have been with guys who thought they had grand PRICKS, but they were actually GRAND pricks themselves.

    I’d love to take a ride with you in Chi-town to experience first-hand how the two of you get along.



  3. ROFLMAO … I do tend to dither on some decision, don’t I ? LOL πŸ™‚

    Thanks for the color analysis … I’ve actually been thinking that it must not be a good color on me because I don’t get nearly the number of truckers honking at me in the Grand Pricks as I did the Grand Amy.

  4. Your color vision limits may hide it from you, but the new AmyMobile is an ideal color for you, if the color in the blog image is close to correct.

    A salvage title car may be fine. What counts is how reliable it proves and how long it lasts. Picking cars, like picking partners, is always a gamble. There are people who are more willing to take a risk on someone they like than a car they like. You were willing to take a chance on “Red”. There are many men who will take a chance on you, if you let them. OTOH, be warned, if you dither the usual extended Amy dither deciding whether you want the guy… πŸ˜‰

  5. …the new Amy-mobile, like Amy, is definitely “hot & fast”….great choice sweetie!

    …and I absolutely love the tg-analogy!

  6. Greggers … As you requested, I pulled off your last two comments, but I don’t think they sounded that silly, so if you want me to put them back up, just let me know … they are sitting in the Moderation queue.

    Everyone else – Greggers posted two comments before reading the whole post and thought he sounded silly after reading it all … but he didn’t. πŸ™‚

  7. Amy
    She’s a beauty!!!! and a red head!!!! i KNOW you two will be very happy together !every girl has that one magical mechanical item with her on the journey thru life and yours is a big red one!!!! enjoy ! oh?? mine is a big red one too! HEY !!hey hey ! my car !!!! stop thinking like that!!! she is a toyota rav 4 and she is venetian red with a silver grey cladding and her name is bloop! take care.

  8. You’ll have to be uber aware of yourself at stoplights since all eyes will be on the kewl blond in the hawt red car … or the hawt blond in the kewl red car (whatever) … i.e., NO nose picking or dorky lipsincing (not that you’d normally do either, of course).

    Oh, and most importantly how may carts of groceries can you fit into it?


  9. I myself am a General Motors Girl too. I have a 2004 Saturn Ion Sports Coupe and just love it. I to try to do the right thing and buy American, especially since I’m a union member. It looks like a good fit and yes, it is red!

  10. πŸ™‚ No, I don’t have to drive one, in fact most of my friends driver ferreign cars, but for me it’s always been a matter of personal loyalty to American workers thing … so I’ve always refused to have a ferreign car and never have so far. No I don’t know what I’d do if my future husband wanted to give me a ferreign car, I’ll kross that bridge if I ever come to it … though just for the record, I don’t consider BMW’s ferreign cars. πŸ™‚

    (Also, please don’t e-mail me and berate me for my car purchasing preference, just rest assured that every point you’d like to make as been argued with me adnausium over the last 20 years and I haven’t caved in yet. πŸ™‚ )

  11. Amy, only you would call it the Grand Pricks, too funny. I’m assuming in your home state, you have to drive an American car, right?

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