Unsolved Mysteries

In our parking structure …

We always park on the top-most covered floor of the structure,

For no other reason than we don’t have to try and remember where we parked when we leave.

We just know …

It’s on IJ.


I was returning to the office this afternoon,

Working the phone …

While I was driving circles up to IJ.

I had just made it to IJ,

And was straightening out my wheel to drive to the spot where I almost always park …

When out from between a minivan and another car,

Came running this Sasquatchesque creature:

My guess is that it was approximately 5’6",

1/8th of a ton in weight,

With a short, Drew Carey haircut.

Sound familiar?

Oh yeah,

It was also wearing a suit.

Nice one I might add,

My guess is the female mate of this species picked it out.


When this creature was a few feet away from the Amy-Mobile,

It jumped up in the air …

Held its hands up high,

And went Grrrrrrrrrrr as it landed just outside my driver’s side window.

The parking garage shuddered.

Holy Phreaking Krap !

It scared the living bejeebers out of me !!

Completely !!!

At which point,

When it noticed that it had indeed scared the krap out of me …

It got this big-ass grin on its face,

Almost as big as its belly,

Then seemed to convulse in jerks of laughter,

And finally lifted its hands over its head,

Twirling around in circles while uttering a chant that sounded eerily like …

"Scared the krap out of you. Scared the krap out of you. I scared the krap out of you. Ha Ha !"

I’m still shaking (as is the parking structure).

Well executed point for Shaft.

Current Score: Shaft – 12,419 Amy – 12,180

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  1. !!! Reminds me of long ago, in college, we had some ferocious floods in Houston. The Texas Medical Center is there. The prime parking were the underground garages under the hospitals — the nurses and orderlies had to park in the above ground garages, blocks away.

    The city flooded, it took them 3-4 days to pump out the underground garages. They said it was like an endless stream of towtrucks hauling out BMWs, Jaguars, Caddies, etc, while the cars of the working class were all just fine.

    There is karmic justice.

    in loving kindness,

  2. Ok, so it was a juvenile prank that could have gone very wrong in a lot of ways. It was still funny as s–t! Amy certainly could have parked the car and kicked the crap out of me, but even she knows it’s not fair to kick somebody while they are rolling on the ground laughing.

  3. Amy it is too bad you did not capture a photograph of this elusive beast as the National Enquirer would have paid a lot! or at least some of the hair covering his huge body….hahaha

  4. I probably would have parked the car, calmly got out, and started hitting him. Scaring a woman in a parking garage =/= funny. Maybe thats because I have to park in a dark garage at night near a not great neighborhood.

  5. LOL…all I could think of was that Chevy Chase line from “Fletch” where he greets the towel-wearing woman at her door and asks “Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo?”…LOL

  6. Nice to hear about Shaft again-it has been a long time. Now that hockey is back, he probably has many more items on his plate.

  7. He’s such a nut … he’s lucky though he didn’t run in front of my car, because despite being scared outtamywits (hehe I spelled Amy) … I didn’t even begin to touch the brakes.

    Hmmm, maybe he’s not the lucky one, maybe it was the Amy-Mobile. 🙂

  8. *LOL* … next time, just speed up the car, drive over his foot and say “It’s you own fault, you shouldn’t have scared me so much”.

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