Garage Activities
SLAM
That, dear viewers, was the sound of the back door that leads to my garage …
Closing shut !
Heavy Sigh.
A quick twist of the door knob confirmed,
Yuhp,
I had effectively locked myself out of my house.
But that’s really no big deal,
People lock themselves out of their house all the time …
So if that’s all there was to this Amy Experience,
I probably wouldn’t share it.
But noooooooo …
It’s so within my ability to make the mildest of life’s inconveniences oddly strange,
And the twist that I brought to the table this time …
Was that I locked myself out of my house,
In my garage,
While I was butt naked.
You see,
It’s a little known bit of Amy-trivia that I …
Spend a fair amount of time,
When I’m at home,
Alone,
In the buff.
Nude I tell ya.
Nekked.
Now those that know of my tendency to be sans clothing at home,
Have occasionally speculated as to the reasoning behind it:
My Agent, who has never seen me naked, has suggested it is because I’m sort of still in the child-like stage in my transition, and often children do like to run around nude;
While Others, who also have never seen me nude, have suggested that I’m now finally comfortable with my body and am finding myself wanting to visually confirm to myself that I’m now right; and,
My Parents, well, yeah, they’ve seen me running around in sort of Bigfoot sighting views. You know, me running into a room when then come over unexpectedly and I think I might have been seen or when I’ve been recovering from surgeries at their house and having to move as quickly as I could to shut a door or run into another room likewise. They really don’t seem to have anything to say on the matter, except laugh, shake their head and confirm, “Yeah, she doesn’t wear clothes much after 9:00 pm.”
However,
I think the truth about this quirk of Amy nature is considerably less deep.
For personally,
I think it’s just because I’m lazy.
When I get home from work,
I just don’t want to get another set of clothes dirty,
That I’ll have to wash and iron.
So if I’m not going out,
And it’s going to get dark anytime within 2 – 3 hours,
I usually just remove my work clothes,
And don’t replace them with anything.
Oh sure,
I suppose I could walk around in my underwear,
Or have a spare set of casual clothes I just re-use day after day,
Like shorts and a tee,
But come-on …
Where’s the sport in that ?? 🙂
Besides,
I usually sleep in the nude anyways,
Except when I’m having my period. 😉
Anyways,
What happened here was that it was morning,
Around 6:00 am – ish,
And I was going to look for a file in my car to reconfirm what time I had to be in court.
Having just awaken a short bit earlier,
Of course I wasn’t wearing anything.
So there I was …
Locked in my garage,
Definitely without many options.
Mobile phone was in the house,
And despite having a car cluttered with all sorts of fast food refuse, not a stitch of clothing anywhere …
Except a pair of skank, wedge sandals which really wouldn’t have looked good with the whole nood thing I had going,
Unless of course I was going for the professional whore look.
However,
In an amazing turn of good fortune …
Sensing that it was only a matter of time before such a fate would befall me,
I had asked my mom the day before to make me a couple extra sets of housekeys so I could hide one in my garage (absent a power outage, I can always get in my garage because I have one of those garage door opener keypad do-hickies outside my garage door with a PIN code that anyone with reasonable guessing skills should be able to hack, so I figured I’d hide an extra key inside the garage, making it a little more secure than just hiding it under the flower vase on the porch like my neighbor does that everyone in the ‘hood knows of because we all watch her use that key time and time again).
And because my mom is the most efficient and best mom around …
There,
Resting on the ledge above my back door …
Was a housekey.
Whew !!! 🙂
Though I can say …
I thought it was only a temporary pardon at first,
Because being a brand new key …
It caused me more than a problem getting it to actually work initially.
But eventually it did,
And my neighbors were spared me sitting in my garage …
Blaring my horn until one came over so I could tell them to call one of my spare key holders !!
*This post shared in the interest of complete disclosure for when I do butt stupid things and to dork with people’s minds that come over to visit me so they think twice before sitting on any of my furniture :)*
Your beloved Wolverines got lucky!
– a sheep lover
Amy,
You know, when I first saw the title of this post, Garage Activities, my mind immediatlely thought of other activities one might do in the garage without clothes. Bad Laura, slutty girl….
But the real distress about it was the fear that you’d skipped ahead of me in the new experiences department, even tho my grs was before yours.
Please say it ain’t so…..or I’ll be seriously depressed.
LOL
bad time to tell you I’ve lost my cellphone….
Hey !!! I’m working diligently on AmyNews.com Episode III … I’m hoping to go live yet today, but first I have to go do a couple of jail visits, watch my beloved Wolverines embarass themselves against the sheep lovin’ Spartans, and view the best movie of the year while enjoying a frozen Mountain Dew and copious quantities of popcorn with chemically created butter-like substitute. 🙂
I was actually thinking of sharing with you kids the link where I’m building the new set so you could see me in all my creative dysfunction … it’s scary, seriously … move something here, nope, move it over here, what the heck did that code do, omg, I’m looping, nice, that looks like krap, is it too early to call Si for some help? geezuz, this is perking me off …
Amyways, I’ll keep plugging away at it. I’ll keep you posted throughout the day !!! 🙂
AAAAaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmyyyyy…………………
Where are you?….We miss you……
Amy,
What! You didn’t get a t-shirt?
Seriously, I was given one before I left the hospital that says Trinidad Sisters 2005 in pink lettering. Some of the earlier postops were giving them to us.
Course, Julie never went to the Dairy Queen for me, so I guess it was a fair trade.
laura a
You know … I didn’t get a t-shirt … I knew I forgot something !!!
…jeez…I hope she got a Trinidad t-shirt…Amy, you should wear it around the house…you know, just in case you get locked out or something…
🙂
…jeez…I hope she got a Trinidad t-shirt…Amy, you should wear it around the house…you know, just in case you get locked out or something…
🙂
For a T-shirt? That’s some trade. Appropriate, too. 🙂
Amy,
We can trade Trinidad stories……amazing experience.
Did you get a T-shirt?
laura a
Or should it be written as _Metamorphosis_?
(I don’t know a way to actually underline it in the comment editing box.)
Amy, I think you can pull off the bath robe look a little sexier than Arthur Dent. But if flannel is your flavor- so be it 🙂
Perhaps because of Ovid’s “Metamorphosis”?
Oh sweet jeezus…
You never told me about you having a SEX change operation…When did this happen? Why the hell did you do that? What…you didn’t like being a woman or something?
Christ.
Now who the hell am I going to get to be my wingwoman when I’m out there…
I hope you’re not going to hit on me…
Hey, I just realized, I never told you kids about my sex change surgery … I’ll do that when I finish this current trial. That’s some good stuff !!! Did you know that on your way to Trinidad, from the east anyways, you will pass through a town called Ovid ? And does anyone here know why I thought that was so funny, kewl ???
Si !!! You poor girl, you did see me partially nekked … But all, it was not because of any flashing on my part, she came and visited me while I was in Trinidad getting the outie/innie procedure … those hospital gowns aren’t too modest !!!
I’m still wondering what ‘Locked Naked in the Garage’ is a euphamism for.
I’m stumped
Emma … you know, the Arthur Dent look might not be a bad idea !! 🙂
Wait.
Lemme get this straight.
You had me in suspense for a whole 10 days over a silly story about you getting stucvk nekid in your garage?
Fer cryin out loud Amy! I thought you had shacked up with one of your bowling buddies r somthin like that, and got some goo from him.
Ohhhh…Wait!’
This is code, isn’t it.
Never mind…
what scares me is that I have actually seen you partially naked.
*sighs and stabs eyes*
perhaps install a freeswing hinge door in the car area so it doesnt swing shut?
Uh, yup, that’s lazy. For Christmas someone should buy you a bathrobe. Now before you worry about the hassles of bathrobe ownership, let me assure you they are relatively low maintenance. They don’t need to be fed, groomed or housed. When you are done with it you just throw it over the back of a chair until you need it again. Sure this may seem like cruel treatment of the poor bathrobe at first, but they are bred for such treatment. They don’t mind it really. Then when you take your work clothes off at the end of the day, your trusty and loyal bathrobe will be waiting for you. Just throw it on and tie the belt (or not, if you like it breezy). Violia, instant coverage and no worries about unannounced visitors or getting locked out. Or- you can just keep running around nekked which is ok, too.
Clothing a Jedi needs not. But a dark cloak a few extra pound hides.
WEEEEEEEE!!!!. Fun story. Takes me back to the college days when we did the “streaking thing — flip-flop, flip-flop (ouch!) Would have been a little more fun if you had been locked out of the HOUSE, and had to grab a barrel and go next door to make that call to mom –
— hmmm, maybe you should keep a raincoat in the car? In the garage? At the neighbors’ house? In the neighbor’s garage? In the tool shed? Or at LEAST a little “Bar-b-Q apron” in the tool shed -hee hee hee! A little heinie never hurt anyone!
So “Amy,” “Uuh-NON-uh-mus,” and “Laura a” do the nakie thing – so do I when the chance offers – “AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! Old fat man walking!” resounds throughout the house when the urge strikes me (that’s my kids) – “Oh, god, Greg, cover up, that’s disgusting! (that’s my wife). Nice to know I still have it.
Hey everyone! Who’se up for a skinny dip?
Oh, this is just too much … I was pratically rolling of my chair. Nope never done the ‘walking around nekked for hours’ thing, I guess I lack that feature. Unlike a neighbour a couple of doors down who was trying to get my attention while standing naked on his balcony participating in an activity with his right hand. *euwh*
***giggling***
Oh Amy…only you, sweetie…you, “nekked” in you garage…looking for legal “briefs”??? Ah, the irony…LOL
Amy,
I suspect we’re alot the same; since Marci did her magic on us, I’m so much more comfortable being starkers, that I do it all the time. I love it….walking by a mirror and seeing that all is correct still gives me a major thrill.
laura a
Amy,
I sorta did the same thing. I live on a horse ranch with no close neighbors. I’m used to going outside in various stages of undress. I was outside in just bra and panties, going to my office in the main barn to get some papers, and, without warning, I had company. People that I only very casually knew. So here I am, stuck in the office and can’t come out, trying to talk to these people through the door. I’m sure they thought I was seriously weird (true), or rude. “No, I can’t show you that horse that’s for sale right now.” They never came back……..wonder why.
No … I take the Yahoo messenger route, amy1985um, though I’m rarely on-line, and when I am, most of the time I pretend to be invisible. 🙁 A person’s best bet is to just ping me anyways and if I’m actually on-line, I do try to respond.
Ummm… do you have AIM?
REALLY? WOW! I’M AN INNIE TOO!
LOL Well, I’m hoping that most people don’t try to imagine me nekked … however, for those that are and want a more accurate visual … I’m an innie !! 🙂
Um… Thanks for sharing. It’s kind of weird imagining you, Amy, naked. And the nightmares begin…