Goodbye Friend
I remember when Ex and I got Indy,
Just after we were married and had moved into our first house.
It was total good fortune.
I had been wanting a dog really bad,
And we had been talking about getting one.
I wanted another sheltie.
So when my mom found someone she knew that had one male left from a litter of shelties,
I thought we had it made …
And called right away all excited about finally getting my dog.
But when I called,
I found that the last sheltie,
Had already found a home.
I was bummed,
But left my name and number for future reference just in case.
Ex was excited about getting a puppy too,
And that weekend we did some serious puppy searching.
Though nothing really bonded with us,
Nothing felt like our puppy.
So we decided to sleep on it and agreed we would make the decision Monday after work,
At which time we would go and pick up the puppy on which we decided.
So on a very sunny Monday evening,
Ex and I left the house and were getting into the car …
When we heard the phone inside the house ringing.
Now,
I’m not sure what possessed either of us to even think about going back into the house to answer the phone,
But I remember looking at Ex standing on the other side of the car,
And her saying …
“Better go and try to get it.”
So with the keys already in my hand,
I made it back in the house and picked up the phone just as the answering machine kicked on to take a message.
It was the lady who I had called earlier about the sheltie my mom had tracked down …
Apparently the family that took the sheltie had just returned him because their daughter turned out to be allergic to him,
And they wanted to know if we’d be interested in him still.
I checked with Ex and she thought we should at least check him out …
I think both of us were suspecting fate was playing a hand there.
So after getting some directions,
We headed west towards the lakeshore.
To this day,
I have no phreaking clue where we ended up …
As we took one country side road after another.
But eventually we found the place,
Got out of the car …
And saw this giant sheltie nose with four legs chasing another sheltie in the front yard.
The owners came out of the house and said “hi” to us …
At which point the giant sheltie nose with four legs stopped chasing the other sheltie and turned towards us.
It’s then that we noticed that it wasn’t a giant sheltie nose with four legs,
But a sheltie puppy !!!! 🙂
Ex bent down and immediately the sheltie puppy ran towards her and into her arms.
We knew at once we had found the puppy we wanted.
Indiana Jones Lando Calrissian.
Indy to his friends. 🙂
That was 16 years ago.
Recently,
I had to put Indy to sleep.
It was sooooo hard.
As regular viewers know …
Indy’s health had been in decline.
Though for his age,
He was amazingly frisky and young in attitude.
A month ago he started having a couple bad days in succession.
And on those days I’d carry him outside to do his thing,
Then carry him back into the house,
Making sure he was as comfy as he could be.
In the middle of the night when he woke me up for reasons I couldn’t quite figure out …
I’d crawl on the floor with a blanket where he’d lay next to me and rest his head on my arm,
Only then would he fall back asleep.
A couple of weeks ago he had several bad days in a row,
So I made an appointment with the vet to see if there were any new drugs we could give him.
Then of course,
The day before I was to take him into the vet,
He seemed to be making a recovery.
I took him in anyways so the vet could at least run some tests,
And hopefully tell me it was nothing.
Unfortunately,
When I got the call later in the day,
It wasn’t good.
I took him home that night from the vet,
So Ex could come over and see him.
We both agreed we didn’t want him to suffer in pain,
And if the latest round of meds didn’t help him,
We’d make the tough decision.
Sadly,
The meds didn’t seem to do a thing,
And his health continued to worsen,
Considerably.
So later that week …
I did what I had to do.
I’d been crying off and on for the few days prior …
Knowing the inevitable.
On one hand,
I wasn’t about to let my puppy suffer in pain,
And I knew he had a great, great long life,
But it still makes one cry knowing how much they are going to miss someone.
At least it makes me cry.
Unfortunately,
Sometimes you have to do hard things for those you love.
So there I was,
Carrying him to the car,
And putting him in the front passenger seat where he always rode.
He knew what was going down,
And was ready.
Along the way,
We talked some,
I cried some,
We were silent some.
When I got to the vet,
The same one I’ve gone to all these years,
One of the staff quickly walked me into a waiting examination room for some needed privacy,
And a few more moments with Indy.
I asked her to take a picture of us,
Which she did.
And after I showed it to Indy,
He quickly offered it as proof that he was right all along …
I’m scary-ass ugly when I’m crying !! 🙂
Then right on time the doctor came in,
Caringly explained what was going to transpire,
And gave Indy a shot to put him to sleep.
He then left Indy and me alone for some final minutes.
I kissed him a bunch on his nose.
Indy that is,
Not the vet. 🙂
In those final minutes,
I kissed him.
Hugged him.
Talked with him.
The same things I’ve done with him his entire life.
Only this time I gave him some parting instructions …
“Go find Leia and you two have some fun. But both of you had better keep an eye on me, we all know I definitely need it.”
A few seconds later he slumped down.
It’s been a couple of weeks now …
And I’m happy he’s no longer in pain,
But gawd do I ever miss him.
Sixteen years.
That’s a long time !
I was so lucky to have him that long.
Heck,
He was my buddy before I even started law school,
Before I met Shaft, and …
When I still thought I could beat the transsexual thing through shear denial.
So, so long ago.
As when Leia passed,
I’m still finding myself …
By habit,
Thinking of Indy:
That I have to get home soon or he’ll be pissed at me,
Ordering fries for him at Wendy’s when I get my salad, or
Starting to talk to him while at home forgetting that he’s not right at my feet.
It’ll continue to happen for a while,
I’m sure.
I hate losing friends.
Especially ones that like me ! 🙂
And now,
For one of the very few times in my life,
I don’t have a puppy:
To take care of,
Or hug when I need a hug.
So do us a favor …
Each and every one of you that have a pup or kitten,
Give them a hug tonight for Indy and me ! 🙂
And remember,
16 years can go mighty fast !!
I love your site
One of my family members is a dog named Buster. He just turned twelve, and he splits time between my ex’s home and mine. Each time I have him, I enjoy every moment. I can’t stay mad at him if he does something I don’t like. His life is to short for me to be mad at him. When I think that someday he won’t be with me, it is one of the saddest things I can imagine. He is a great friend, one who will cuddle with you, urge you to play with him, and has the coldest nose I have ever seen.
Buster taught me how to love uncondtionally. I will forever be grateful to him for that.
pmg mentors
pmgmentors
http://partners.pmgmentors.com
Sad only =(
Been waiting forever for you to update your blog, and when you do I get to read this =( Talk about having to wash your face from the tear streaks.
Anyways, first comment, but I had to comment on a post like this one, as it hits home. My little kitty is 17 years old now, and his health is going fast. If it’s not Feline Diabeties it’s his liver disease, to the arthritis in his back legs. He’s still a happy kitty dispite the effects of old age. Just makes me sad to know that someday he won’t be around anymore. I’ve known him almost all my life.
Anyways… had to share my condolances as i typed on my tear washed keyboard.
~Rae~
Hi Amy,
I’m really sorry to hear about Indy.
Love,
Tamsin
*hugs* aims. i really wish there was something to say that would make you feel the tiniest bit better. i would imagine it’s still hard for you. even months after his death, whenever i thought about piggy’s cat rusty (who died 2 years ago now), i’d start weeping. i’m going to go now to give each of my kitties a kiss…
*hugs*
..claire
I am an animal lover and I feel your loss, I’m sorry sweetie. Indy will always have a place in your heart and memories. A death in the family is always hard. Best wishes and I hope you feel better soon.
I’m so sorry, Amy, to hear about your loss of Indie. Losing a dog is so difficult. I’m happy that you had such a dear friend for the time you did. I’m thinking of you.
Becky
Amy…
I’m so sorry about Indy. I almost feel bad now about cursing your name to the ends of the earth for you not returning my calls…..
Laura
Amy,
I think you need to try a cat now. I have a few spares if you are interested! Anyone else?
I’m so sorry for your loss, Amy. So, so very sorry.
Your eulogy to Indie brought back me back to my Tara and I cried my eyes out.
But, while everything comes to pass, nothing comes to stay.
Don’t live alone for too long, ok?
Hugz for you and Indie,
ghf
Dear Amy,
That is a very touching eulogy for one of your best friends. There are no words to describe the feeling of loss one experiences from losing someone so close for so long.
Thank you for sharing in such a personal fashion.
Hugs, Aleta
Sorry Shaft…you just bring out the sniper in me. Speaking of Rodney….”OWWW…my arm…it’s broken!!” I’m sensing golf weather!!
I’m sorry to say this, but I just cried my eyes out for you and your doggie!!! Haven’t cried like that in quite a while!!!!
Hugs and Kisses,
Tara
Even as we remember Indy, I’m taking shots. I guess somebody had to fill in when Rodney died.
Give Molly and Jazzy hugs for me Robin !! 🙂
(Robin has two shelties that aren’t only incredibly cute, but are top notch competitors in agility competitions.)
Thanks R-U … and good point, another year of hanging out with Shaft and they are going to name a street after me !! Oh wait, that’s already happened !!
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food and water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing: they miss someone very special to them; who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. The bright eyes are intent; the eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to break away from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. YOU have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
THEN YOU CROSS RAINBOW BRIDGE TOGETHER…
http://www.rainbowbridge.com
*hugs*
i moved into a new place a year and a half ago and the house “came” with a cat…irresponsible former owners left it. i’d been petless for over twenty years…and i was watching this beautiful, perfect creation who comes and greets me whenever i come home….and one of the kids asks me how long cats live…and i got choked up thinking about how she won’t be around forever…
sorry for your loss, aims
Thanks all !! *hugs* 🙂
Laura,
I loved my show horse like that as well. The last time I saw her she was retired on a farm with friends also. I used to actually make Joe got out and see her with me every summer. I stopped going when she was 29 because I couldn’t bear to go and not see her there one day. She always recognized me and trotted over to the fence. She would be 31 this year and I keep thinking maybe she is still around because she was an awful frisky and healthy 29 year old….but I just don’t dare and want to remember her on a sunny day in the pasture, trotting over to see her old mom.
wow, I haven’t cried like that in months, and I’m not even a dog person….*hugs for Amy*
Bye-bye Indy!
Have a hug Amy!
–W3bgrl
Amy,
Sorry, so sorry!
I am an animal lover as well. One of my horses I have owned for many, many years. He was my first serious show horse. We won many awards, ribbons, trophies, and points together. He is an APHA champion, superior halter, and has multiple Register of Merits. He has been my best friend when no one else was. He taught my children to ride and to love horses.
Blue is now 23 years old, and that’s pretty old for a horse. He’s retired now, living a life of luxury in a big pasture with a bunch of friends. Still, when I walk out there, he’ll come up to me and put his head on my shoulder, and we’ll spend a few moments together.
I know the day is coming when I’ll have to go through what you did, and I dread it terribly.
Here is a friend that stuck with me through gender dysphoria, transition, divorce, etc. He never judged or criticized. He just accepted me.
Isn’t it a shame people are not as smart as animals?
Laura a
A,
My condolences on the passing of a great companion…I’m sure it was/is very tough for you. But seeing & hearing all the things you have gone through over the past years…I’m sure your proven strength will pull you through. Also, my condolences for, well, having Shaft as a friend for almost as long. NO ONE should have to go through that much pain!! Don’t think of it as losing a friend…even though some friends are rarely/not seen or heard…know that they are still there for you & and are keeping you in their thoughts. Thanks Indy!!
*hug*….sorry babe.
Indy was a great dog!
I shall do exactly that. I know what it’s like to lose a pet (one cat in 2003 and another in 2004). Fortuneatly I still have three other cats and the dog.