The Search for Baby Brother’s Christmas Present

Merry Christmas !!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

Yeah,

I know,

I’m like five days late,

But hey …

Why should my holiday wishes be delivered any more timely than my Christmas cards ???

Anywhose,

I hope all of you had a great and safe Christmas.

Mine totally rocked,

Which my absence of postage for several few days could also have indicated.

I’m back in the saddle again after finding myself in a stare down with a kickass cold …

Ummmm,

I lost the stare down.

But now I’m ready to catch up on some posts …

First in line – My Christmas Eve Scavenger Hunt:

Since accepting my girldom, I’ve stopped doing what I viewed as a nicely suggestive “guy” behavior of waiting until the absolutely last minute to do my Christmas shopping.

It’s amusing to me how even to this day, people seem to think that was actually a personality trait of mine.

Clue in … that was a deliberate misdirection on my part to engage in an act so typically boyish that I could continue my attempts to convince the world that I was the guy I was pretending to be.

Seriously, who in their right mind would want to the do the Christmas Eve shopping thing and deal with all that stress … regardless of the super sales one might find.

I hated it !!

So this year,

I actually had all my Christmas shopping done nice and early,

Except for my dear baby brother …

Who is tied with my dad as the two worst people for whom to try and purchase a present.

Us: “Dad, what would you like for Christmas?”

Dad: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Us: “No we don’t. What would you like?”

Dad: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Us: “Come on, what would you like?”

Dad: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Now my Baby Brother historically was a bit different … difficult to shop for because he has practically everything a male being could ever desire.

Every power tool known to man, some not yet known, along with every electronic gizmo ever made.

But that’s really not what he is famous for,

His claim to fame is that regardless of whatever you purchase him …

He’ll return it.

So despite how much effort you put into finding him a present,

It’s all for naught usually.

Now I know, one would think that I should just get him a gift card,

Or money …

Which is not a bad idea.

But it’s Christmas …

And Baby Brother needs a present to open.

It’s only right.

Besides,

In our family,

Finding Baby Brother a present he’ll actually keep is kind of like the Quest for the Holy Grail …

For those of you who actually believe the Holy Grail is a chalice and not Mary Magdalen.

So though all my holiday shopping was completed well earlier in the month …

For the last week,

I was pressing Baby Brother for some ideas of what to get him for Christmas.

Now I’m not sure if it’s just something that the men in my family start doing when they reach a certain age …

Or if now as my parents oldest son, he feels a legacy right to emulate a few more of my dad’s traits.

But, daily for that last week before Christmas,

My telephone conversations with Baby Brother at some point contained the following:

Me: “What would you like for Christmas?”

Baby Brother: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Me: “No I don’t. What would you like?”

Baby Brother: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Me: “Come on, what would you like?”

Baby Brother: “Ohhhhhh, you know !!”

Now personally …

I think he was just copping the scam from Dad,

But for a different purpose.

‘Cause with Dad …

Even though he doesn’t tell us what he wants,

There is something he really wants and we have to figure it out.

But in this case with Baby Brother,

I think he had no clue what to say,

So he was falling back on Dad’s standard line.

Regardless,

On Christmas Eve …

I was out searching for a present for him.

Nephew 1 provided some assistance …

Pointing me in the direction of a bargain bin X-Box game he wanted,

And I already planned on getting Baby Brother a Best Buy gift card in a nominal amount,

To be used to replace one of the 642 remote controls my brother’s two dogs, which apparently didn’t just fail obendience school, but plipped it the bird on the way out, will eat over the course of a year.

But I was still looking for the present.

You know …

The present he’ll recollect getting from me for Christmas 2004 that he returned.

Anyways …

I hate getting most people clothes as a present,

Because I prefer getting them some sort of toy type giftage;

However,

As I desperate …

And since I had already gotten him the X-Box game and Best Buy gift card …

I figured clothes might be a viable option.

So I made my way to my third home …

The mall.

I immediately hit my basics when it comes to shopping for guys …

Banana Republic, Marshall Field’s, J. Crew, AE, Gap and Express for Men.

Well yeah, of course, I also looked for myself and went into The Limited.

Be real.

Now shopping for clothes for Baby Brother is the epitome of time-wasters,

Because he dresses Engineer Kewl,

Which differs from Engineer Dork which is sorta like the Drew Carey look,

Engineer Kewl involves old old jeans, old old shoes – tennis or casual shoes both work, old old button shirt – often in plaid, frequently in flannel and the pants must always barely stay up, riding low on one’s ass and the shirt must be pretty much half-tucked. A two day beard growth seems part of the look too.

Now granted,

I think it’s a better look than Engineer Dork,

But understand,

I’m calling it Engineer Kewl mainly because other engineers seem to find it a kewl way to look,

Not so much that I think it’s a style for which one should strive.

Anyways,

I knew whatever I purchased him he was going to return …

It was inevitable.

However,

I put lotsa thought into every present I purchase for a person …

Especially Baby Brother.

So just picking something up and calling it a day was not going to be my style.

I saw a casual top at J. Crew that was in the Christmas present spending limit range …

Which I liked,

And thought would look good on him …

But they didn’t have his size.

I was also sorely tempted to buy him one of those pairs of way overpriced, super heavy navy sweats at J. Crew …

Figuring he might actually wear it,

But I just wasn’t attracted to the thought of purchasing sweats for Christmas.

Finally though …

I found a great, stylish, sharp heavy down coat at Express for Men …

Which was way outside the Christmas present spending limit,

But it was marked 60% off …

Bringing into appropriate range,

And they had 1 in his size left.

Sweet !!!!

He’s outside walking his dogs all the time …

It’s phreaking cold and windy here most days in the winter,

And this coat would be nice and warm,

Plus it had all sorts of neat extra pockets within it …

For his Palm, cell phone, GPS, blah, blah, blah.

He opened the present at about 1:00 pm Saturday afternoon,

By 10:00 am Sunday morning he had already returned it !!

You know …

We’ve had enough changes in my family for a year,

It’s so nice that some things never change !!! LOL

Editor’s Note: When Baby Brother returned the coat Sunday AM bright and early, there was already a line … for which he had to suffer through and wait … as he approached the cashier and presented the coat along with the original receipt (with him, you always give him the original receipt !! :)) … he was surprised to hear … “I’m sorry sir, this is Express. This was purchased at Express for Men, which is across the mall a few stores down.” Too phunny and so deserved !! lol 🙂