Courthouse Plan

Pretty much everything I’ve done as part of my transition …

At its most elemental level,

Was part of a plan …

Despite how often it might have looked like there wasn’t !! 😉

Now please bear in mind …

I never really plan a plan that has only one course,

But instead …

I’ll have a goal in mind,

Figure out what I think it the best way to get there …

Start the journey,

But then be totally flexible to changing circumstances …

In order to reach my destinatiooooon !

It’s just the way I am …


Sometimes an unplanned side road is a better or more interesting route.

Now as with all of my outings …

I have tried to disclosure to others bearing in mind what it’s like from the perspective of the person who is hearing the krap I’m telling them …

‘Cause come on,

It’s not something you hear everyday.

Now there’s no doubt …

Rumor of my sex change had been making the rounds at the courthouse.

And though it wasn’t an “outright, blatant, everyone has heard about it” rumor …

It was enough of a rumor that many people had heard about it.

Now the exact rumor that was circulating …

I’m not quite sure,

The version I heard was that I had moved to Indianapolis after I had the sex change and might possibly be working as a dancer.

Which I thought it was funny,

Because …

As if I’d ever move to Indianapolis. 🙂


I approached that courthouse outing wanting to address the following:

1.) I felt that the judges I practiced in front of deserved not to be caught off guard by me just showing up in their courtroom, so I wanted to try to at least re-introduce myself beforehand.

2.) Once I outed myself to the first judge, I figured word of my genderness would spread phreaking quickly … phreaking quickly.

3.) Even if someone has heard the rumor, or has heard that the rumor has been confirmed, seeing Me 2.0 will still be a bit weird for most people.

So …

With that on my mind …

I planned on doing the following as part of my courthouse outing:

1.) Obviously try to introduce myself to judges and court staff beforehand. The courthouse that I was entering has … ummm, one, two, three different, no four different court systems contained within … probably 75% of my work is in one of the court systems contained within two floors of the building … on those two floors there are 6 judges and 1 magistrate that get stuck with me practicing in their courtrooms.

Now in addition to just letting them see me before I showed up in their courts for the first time, I wanted to let them know if they have any questions, feel free to just ask me, and honestly …

If they are uncomfortable with me practicing in their courtrooms, for any reason, my ts-ism, them tiring of having to tell me to stop lowering the chairs at the prosecutor’s table, or simply wanting to take the opportunity to rid themselves of the challenge of having to figure out just what the hell I’m saying during a long winded, confusing, cross-ex question … to just let me know. I’m fine with that and I’ll make accommodations to have others cover my cases in their courtroom and just not take new cases there. nbd

I’ve come to the conclusion that some people are just uncomfortable with the thought of me,

Well, not me so much –

But by the thought of someone having a sex change …

And not willing to let themselves become unbothered by it.

‘Cause heaven forbid that the idea of someone having a sex change might end up making sense to them someday !!! Can’t let that happen !! 🙂

And if they are uncomfortable about me, that makes me uncomfortable …

So it’s just easier for me if I stay away from them so they aren’t bothered.

Which I am more than willing to do …

Out of respect for their wishes, to make things easier for them,

And to also avoid putting myself in situations where I can feel I’m not wanted and also become uncomfortable.

Now Shaft practices in two of the other court systems in the building located on about three of the floors. We had agreed earlier that it made sense for him to also inform his judges, again – out of respect – they are bound to hear the rumor and it’s just easier letting them know that we’re not hiding from it. Shaft started telling his judges a few days before I started telling mine.

2.) Since I figured that once I showed up in the first courtroom … word about me would start making the rounds incredibly quickly. So it was my intention to try and tell as many of my 6 judges and 1 magistrate as possible as quickly as possible. Just go courtroom to courtroom … chambers to chambers.

3.) Now the thoughts of what I’ll look like are probably pretty extreme in the minds of people before they actually see me for the first time. So it’s sort of become my modus operandi,

That whenever I’m going to be exposing myself … ahem,

Introducing myself …

To people for the first time that knew Joe,

I tend to make sure I’m wearing slacks or a pantsuit.

I take that approach for, of course, three reasons:

One, well, let’s just be real, I tend to wear pant suits at work more than not, so the odds are just better that I’ll be in slacks;

Two, I think it’s easier on the person seeing me for the first time, ’cause it’s just human instinct that when they hear about my sex change, they’ll imagine Joe in a dress … looking like a drag queen. So I sort of try to dispel that visualization by not wearing a dress the first time they see me … oh yeah, and not looking like Joe. Besides, wearing pants instead of a skirt or dress sort of sends the sublte message that “it’s not about the clothes, you butt!“; 🙂

Three, it takes away one of the comments bitter, closed-minded women toss out at me from time to time …

Oh, look at him, he thinks wearing a skirt makes him a woman. He’s no woman.

Of course, as not to ruin all of their fun, I still leave them with the option of saying …

Oh, look at him, he thinks wearing heels makes him a woman. He’s no woman“.

Now here’s scoop …

None of that stuff was really on my mind as I took the elevator to the 8th floor.

Instead I was thinking of my client’s case,

And a request she had asked of me to make of the judge …

That I just knew the judge would never go along with.

Though I will admit,

It did cross my mind that …

I really should sort of think about what I’m going to say to the judges when I introduce myself.


Better think of something quick.

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  1. OK ALREADY! Wheres the next post?Its TOMORROW and there ain’t nothin here! Are you playng one of those games so that we have to keep coming back here to check on the next installment or something? Thank god there aren’t any of those damn pop up ads, or I would SCREAM!


  2. ROFLMAO First courtroom appearance post goes up tomorrow … though I had such a kewl moment today that I want to just share that right way !! 🙂

    Hey … come on, it’s been firmly established that I can I can talk non-stop AND still never get to the point ! 🙂

  3. OK already! Get on with the story damn it!

    Honestly! Some story tellers take WAYYYYY too much time to get to the POINT!



  4. After I came out to the medical staff, people quickly separated into three camps: the largest group was very supportive, understanding, and asked good questions. The second group ignored the situation, although they usually get the name and pronouns right. The third group refuses to acknowledge or accept Laura and do not use the correct pronouns or name, and do their best to completely avoid me. Thankfully that is a very small group.

    I hope you are blessed with lots and lots of group 1’s.

    laura a

  5. Well … not to ruin the ending, but by the time I finish these posts … you might come to think I live in a perfect world … or at least a darn near perfect world ! 🙂

  6. Reading this post I can’t help but come up with one word to describe you (and prolly a large proportion of the TS community) ACCOMMADATING. We accommodate our friends when we first come out, we accommodate our colleagues with whom we have a working / professional relationship. We accommodate society in general always trying to ensure they donӴ feel uncomfortable. Itӳ a shame they don’t reciprocate to the same degree. Wouldn’t it be nice to have someone respect and admire you for your strength of character, openness and honesty and not be blinded by prejudice and bigotry. In a perfect world maybe – but then again, we donӴ live in a perfect world do we.

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