Taking Out The Trash

I had to go into the office the other night …

Which was the first time I had left my house that day.

Now …

I know this might come as a surprise to some of you guys,

But you see …

When some women are at home,

And really not planning on going out at all …

They don’t spend their day all dolled up.

I’m one of those chicas.

Sure, sure …

I showered in the morning,

And washed/conditioned my hair,

But after that …

I just tossed in a few barrettes,

Let my hair air dry itself, and

Spent the day pleasantly working in an uber comfortable pair of drawstring capris and my Geeks Heart Me undersized graphic tee.

Soooooo comfy ! 🙂

Unfortunately, situations later dictated that I go into the office that night …

And I sure wasn’t going to spend much time prepping myself for the trip downtown.

So relunctantly … I changed my top.

I really don’t think I can wear it in public any more …

It’s just not the same …

Since Amanda and Nicole came around.

It now appears to read …

Eks Heart M,

And though I think that phrase means nothing,

I really don’t want to take the chance that there’s a group of Eks out there about which that I might be making a misleading statement.

So I tossed on a kute collarless, v-neck, 3/4 sleeve vertical ribbed tee with ruffled edging in a color that I can honestly say I have no phreaking clue where it fell in the spectrum (it was a cute style and I got it on sale at Marshall Fields for $4.99 !!) …

Did it look good on me ??

Was I even remotely color coordinated ??

Heck …

I didn’t know,

And I didn’t care. 🙂

I then removed the barrettes from my hair and just combed the mess straight, holding it there with a hairband, back exposing full forehead …

Along with my “more prominent because of tanning other parts of the bod” ffs scar across my forehead.

Make-up?

Not a chance, I didn’t even bother with gloss …

Opting instead to keep my lips kissable soft with Vaseline.

I slipped on some flip-flops,

Grabbed my pwus …

And I was on my way.

Continuing my lazy trend,

I didn’t even park in the parking garage …

Electing instead to park on the street at a meter that didn’t require coinage since it was after 8:00 p.m.

It was pretty dead downtown …

Very few people.

After making sure I had everything I needed,

I stepped out of my car,

Pressed the lock button a couple of times …

And started walking around the front of my car towards the sidewalk,

At which point I noticed an extremely kute, Bernie Grimm-except with dark hair, looking man riding a bike up the sidewalk towards me and just smiling a great big smile.

Now … sure, maybe he read me and was smiling about that …

I certainly put absolutely no preaking effort into even trying to pass …

And my mom would probably scold my ass.

First for using the word ass,

And then for even leaving the house looking like that.

But honestly,

I didn’t expect to run into anybody !

However,

I really didn’t get the vibe he read me …

This definitely felt more like a flirt-type smile.

Which was sort of nicely reaffirming.

Anyways,

He continued looking at me …

Smiling …

Making nice eye contact …

As he progressed in front of me.

Of course I smiled back,

I smile a lot. 🙂

Then after he had passed me,

He turned his head to look at me again …

Still smiling.

However,

As a result of turning his head …

He also turned his shoulders …

And consequently turned the front wheel of his bike.

I’m guessing he planned on taking just a quick look at me …

Instead of the slightly more prolonged exchange of smiles that occurred,

Because as a result of that last look at me for whatever reason he chose to take …

He steered his bike right into one of those wrought iron decrorative trash cans they have scattered throughout downtown on the sidewalk.

After quickly recovering,

Well, it really wasn’t too quickly,

He sort of fumbled around a bit in an endearing sort of nerdy way,

He looked back at me.

I delivered my patented smile/giggle/expose my neck/tilt my head/giggle/smile move that some guys seem to like …

And he smiled back,

Shrugged his shoulders,

And continued on down the sidewalk.

I think he was seriously contemplating striking up a conversation with me …

And though normally in such a situation,

I would not hesitate to strike up the verbal dialogue myself …

I was there to get some work done and didn’t want to be the reason for my delay.

So I wasn’t about to take the initiative,

But it’s a shame he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity to ask me to join him for a drink.

Not because I’d have said yes,

Be real,

That’s a given.

He was Bernie Grimm-kute afterall (it’s a different link in case you want to know the answer to “Who is Bernie Grimm?”)

No, I’d have said yes …

Because I had the perfect response already formed in my mind …

Sure, but I’ll drive !” 🙂

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9 Comments

  1. did I really just double post to this thread?

    does this remark make a triple post?

    do I really need to cut back on my gin and tonic usage?

    will I be scolded for this?

    am I really just an attention swut?

    if any of the above are true, will I be held responsible for my actions and denied use of the by now world famous and patented smile/giggle/expose my neck/tilt my head/giggle/smile move ?

  2. Amy,

    I did not realize that you already had the rights on that smile/giggle/expose my neck/tilt my head/giggle/smile move ….. I was hoping on claiming rights to that…

    But I do think it is pretty kewl…. the power of the force… the power to have mind control over mere mortal men…

    One question, though…. in the lovely pic of lead newsgal Amy, I cannot make out the lovely ear rings… btw, neat and very flattering yoga pose, but I am sure you knew that…

    Lisa

  3. Amy,

    I did not realize that you already had the rights on that smile/giggle/expose my neck/tilt my head/giggle/smile move ….. I was hoping on claiming rights to that…

    But I do think it is pretty kewl…. the power of the force… the power to have mind control over mere mortal men…

    One question, though…. in the lovely pic of lead newsgal Amy, I cannot make out the lovely ear rings… btw, neat and very flattering yoga pose, but I am sure you knew that…

    Lisa

  4. Hello Amy,

    First time poster, long time listener 8) Thanks for posting all the Makenna news and such, maybe oneday she will answer my calls.

    Anywho…. For someone who’s been planning things for so long its amazing you dont have a plan for the office. You might want to give them a week or so to digest the news before you “appear”, whilst the shock value is interesting they might appreciate some time to chew the fat on the new you.

    It worked well for me, the office (260 people) were told the week before I left for FFS to give those I knew well a chance to say goodbye to him, which several did by inviting me down the pub to say goodbye to the old me. Then 4 weeks later Kate came back, they werent told about the FFS, thats my business. Overall it went well and gave time for the fuss to die down.

    Godspeed, love Kate.

  5. If you can turn heads looking like that (which probably wasn’t as bad as you say), lord help men when you are all dolled up! LOL

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