The Move – Counterpoint

Editor’s Note: You know, I have to suspect that some people reading of my life and adventures as I post them on AmyNews.com sometimes doubt and question the legitimacy of my adventures or behavior. Do The UnUsual Suspects really exist? Does Amy really eat as much food as she says she does? Does she really have a flirt like nature around men which gets her into interesting situatioooons ? Does she really smile as much as she seems to smile? Heck, maybe it’s something as simple as Is Coors Light really her beer of choice? Seriously, it takes like watered down beer, why would she like that ??

Well, as I’ve always said … all the krap I write about on here is the truth, modified only slightly to accomodate just relaying what happened or to fill in some verbage if I can’t remember the exact words. The gist of what transpires is never changed.

Anyways, here’s an opportunity to get another person’s view of what went down with me and the Cute Drunk Man. Kenna has written her recollections of the encounter in a gesture to share her viewpoint. I don’t think much differs between the two posts, except for a bit of timing, but you get to make that cwall !! πŸ™‚

______________________________

Ok…here’s my version of the events as they played out…

First off, let me point out to the audience that we had a bet going. First one of us to get a guy to buy us a round would win. Let the record show that I managed to get a gay guy to buy me one earlier in the evening, but that was disqualified on account that I asked the guy to buy it. Ok, so I cheated…big deal.

Before the festivities began, Amy (my slut sister), Laura, and I set up a safe word and hand signal so that if one of us got in trouble with a guy, the others could bail her out.

The phrase we came up with was “Purple Neon.”

We were roughly halfway through the evening, when we ended up in a very crowded Irish bar called O’Callahans (I think). Managed to find a couple of seats at the bar and one gentleman kindly moved over so we could squeeze in a third. Promptly ordered a round of apple martinis. Yum!

Guys standing next to us (on my slut sister Amy’s left) took notice and started the eye thing. You know…looking us over. I grabbed the nearest one and started to engage him in conversation. His bud Cute Drunk Man stuck his head in on the conversation, and introduced himself. So far so good.

Meanwhile I get the bartender’s attention and get another round going, and manage to get him to take a few pics of us three from his side of the fence. Cute. Laura and I goofed around with him for a few minutes. We took his pic.

I turn toward Amy (my slut sister) and look down to discover that Cute Drunk Man has his hand on Amy’s (my slut sister) thigh. Yes, you read that right my friends. It looks like she is deeply into this bit of action…but she gives me a rather pained look. Ok…so she’s ok at this point. We’re bantering with the bartender, with Cute Drunk Man’s Friend, and with Cute Drunk Man, and decide to get a pic of Amy and Cute Drunk Man. Evidence in case we need to build a case. I turn to see Cute Drunk Man with his arms around Amy from behind and his head very close to Amy’s (my slut sister), and he’s nuzzling her. Hmmm…yummmm…

Another round of Apple Martinis please” I yelled! Just as we started to drink them, I turn toward Amy (my slut sister) and she is in panic mode now…

Time to call this dirty dawg off her. “Lets get out of here” I declare, and as we pull away, I tell Chris, in a very nice way, that my sister is freaking and needs to go. He gives us a good look over (as we do him) and we leave.

Outside the bar, we stand with our backs to the wall and have a good laugh at my slut sister’s expense. Evidently, in the heat of passion she forgot the safe word. Guess she can memorize fact after fact for a nothing legal case, but get her to memorize a simple phrase and poof! Gone!

Just so ya know…getting manhandled doesn’t count. Bet is still on…

Kenna

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21 Comments

  1. Ya know…I never thought of the purple neon that way.

    But its just a phrase. Its not like we needed to SEE purple to remember it. As far as I can recollect, The CUTE DRUNK MAN at the bar wasn’t wearing any.

    AND…I won’t concede anything with respect to the bet. Just because he had his hand down your backside, doesn’t mean that you were able to take advantage of HIM! (and thats the spirit of the bet isn’t it?).

    Of course, maybe you WERE taking advantage of him. It just wasn’t an obvious thing. πŸ™‚

    M

  2. Hmmm….That’s funny…When I asked, he told me you had left him with a bad case of….er…blueballs πŸ™‚

    Laura

  3. Yeah … can you tell the one on the far right (the cute one) that the pregnancy test I took showed blue and that we need to talk !! πŸ™‚

  4. Aleta….

    I don’t totally remember who you are, but then again, I was drinking….were you the Oklahoman???

    Yeah..some smile I have…I’m all cheeks and teeth…i should just transition to chipmunk…

    BTW, Amy, I’m in Vegas tonight, and I scored a ticket for the Blue Man Group….can I pass along a message from you….or something else???

    Laura

  5. anyway,
    this drama in real life
    inspired a comedy in real blog–
    “Blue Hand, White Knuckles”
    :p

    but i should have worked in another
    “under there” joke…

  6. I was wondering the same thing !! πŸ™‚

    OMG Jessica !! He was too cute, wasn’t he !! πŸ™‚ My good fortune was all because of the Sex Bracelets you gave me !!! πŸ™‚ (I haven’t taken them off since !! :))

    Wow … good point on the intoxication state of the goalie … let’s see, by about that time, we had been drinking, sporadically, about 14 hours. πŸ™‚

    Yeah, you’re right … we all need to collectively try to come up with a more Amy-friendly safe word/phrase !! πŸ™‚

  7. Oh and the ‘purple neon’ line sort of put Amy at a disadvantage anyway didn’t it? Just in that she prolly didn’t have the visual clue to help her remember.

  8. I’m just wondering how Aims got branded ‘The Slut’ Sister by little Miss ‘Top buttons are optional’.

    For anyone wondering how Aims let it get quite that far, let me state objectively that Cute Drunk Guy was EXCEEDINGLY Cute, and even if Amy protests that he was not her type I would say that after a drink or two he would be anyones type. His hotness was probably only mitigated by his drunkeness, and IMHO Aims more than won under the spirit of the bet. πŸ˜‰

    I do have to wonder about the description of his grace in executing the move though, given how drunk he was I think it was only the fact that the goalie was also a little tipsy that allowed him to score.

  9. Ding !! Ding !! Ding !!

    That’s how we came up with the safe word for the weekend … we were watching a purple Neon drive by at the time ! πŸ™‚

  10. well, yeah,
    somebody could have asked,
    “Which car are you driving,
    the White Alero or the Purple Neon?”

    the blue hand…
    hmmm…

  11. I was completey unaware that Cute Drunk Boy had managed to slip his hand down your backside…Now THATS new! Amynews!

    is Blue Man blue all over? If so, I’ll guess you’ll be wearing blue lipstick too!

    OOOOOOOOOHHHH!!!

    M

  12. Ahhhh … I’m trying to think of a smart retort to your comment Claire, but about the only thing I can say is … “well, yeah, you’ve got a point !” πŸ™‚

  13. i *always* doubt and question the legitimacy of your adventures and behavior. πŸ˜› especially when it comes to the ‘innocent bystander’ bit… πŸ˜‰

    ..claire

  14. I just have to wonder, what if the Blue Man had put his hand down your pants instead of Cute Drunk Man? At least you would know the color left was not your standard racing stripe! I absolutely enjoyed reading about your adventures in Chicago and just have one question left, may I please go with you next time? Glad you had so much fun!

  15. Oooooo … that would have been a good hint !! πŸ™‚

    I am a little disappointed in myself for being at an utter and complete loss in remembering the safe word, and the fact that I had a guy’s hand down my pants and groping my butt, is no excuse for my lack of memory.

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