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Amanda and Nicole – Day 0

So …

In case you haven’t figured it out by now …

Last week I got my boob job.

And all I can say is … OUCH !!!!!!

Yuhp , let’s see …

On the scale of surgical things hurting like hell associated with my transition,

My boob implants now rank Numero Uno.

My liposuction had the prolongest hurt (is prolongest even a word?);

That stuffing krap they put in your nose after rhinoplasty was by far the most uncomfortable; but,

The pain associated with the implantation of a pair of round, smooth, 425 cc, overfilled to 465 cc, implants filled with saline solution inserted underneath one’s pectoralis muscles via a periareolar incision simply hurts like phreakin’ hell.

It wasn’t a prolonged hurt, seeing as soon as I started medicating myself heavily, the pain became fairly tolerable …

But for a period of time after the anesthesia wore off and when I only had one valium in me …

I was in desparate, desparate pain.

Gawd did it ever hurt.

All I can say is that my future boyfriend/husband better enjoy them, because I sure when through a lot of pain to get them !!!! 🙂

Now the day started out bright and early …

My personal caregiver for this round of surgical procedures,

Was none other than the infamous Skipper !!! 🙂

Let’s hear a collective round of applause for Skipper !!

Yay Skipper !!! 🙂

Despite working the late shift the night before,

She arrived promptly at my place at 7:15 a.m. so we could make our jaunt to Chicago in time for the second surgery of the day for Dr. Z.

I was doing the driving there …

So as usual of late,

Before heading out for the trip to Chicago,

We stopped at my parents on the way out of town to say hola.

It was the first time my parents met Skipper,

But my mom immediately took a liking to her …

And my dad liked the fact that she played Guiness Book of World Record trivia questions with him.

(Pssst … last year dad got a Guiness Book of World Record trivia questions coffee table book. In less than a year, my dad has memorized the entire phreaking book and can ask a trivia question for any occasion. If you’re ever in need of a lifeline on Who Want’s To Be A Millionaire and it’s a question about a world record of some sort …. put my dad down as your lifeline … he won’t fail ya … it’s actually sorta spooky, but it is proof as to why you can never when an argument with my dad, it’s that damn photographic memory of his. ! :))

So, it was a little after 8:00 a.m. before we finally hit the road …

And poor Skipper had to listen to me gripe the entire trip about how hungry I was ….

Seriously, I understand the reason why I’m not supposed to eat or drink 12 hours before surgery,

But this is me we’re talking about …

I like to eat,

And eat often …

Along with consuming massive quantities of coffee and water.

I was dying.

And there were all these signs telling me that there was great food to be had …

McDonald’s, Burger King, White Castle, Culver’s, Redamak’s …

I was constantly scheming ways to figure out how to cheat and at least get a breakfast burrito …

But Skipper,

Managing me ever so well …

Kept me on track.

Anyways, we made really good time …

And decided to try the Skyway into Chi-town,

In light of the 60 some odd miles of construction they were doing on I-94 three weeks ago when I was last there (added about 2 hours to my trip then, which would have been longer had I not decided to take some back roads eventually.)

Fortunately, we only had about a 45 minute delay of construction on the Skyway, which as far as midwest driving goes during road repair season …

Really isn’t that bad.

Once we broke clear of the traffic back-up, I got the call from Chris at Dr. Z’s office telling me that the first surgery was going fine and they’d be ready for me a little earlier than expected …

And miracles of miracles …

I was actually going to be there a little earlier than expected !! 🙂

Seriously, can anyone name once when I arrived on time for any appointment at Dr. Z’s ??

Or pretty much anywhere else for that matter.

But this time … promptly …

At 11:00 a.m. central standard time,

I rolled into the the parking lot.

Now I need to take a few minutes here to offer super, special thanks to Skipper …

I was totally phreaking about this particular set of procedures,

And numerous times during the ride I did fall into total and complete silence …

Just reflecting as to what I was going to be doing.

And Skipper skillfully knew exactly when to say something to lighten up my spirits …

While also knowing when not to say a thing and let me dwell on my thoughts for a while.

And along the way … we had plenty of laughs and mocked multiple people as we drove down the interstate … enjoying ourselves thoroughly.

And when we arrived at Dr. Z’s locatioooon ,

They were all set and ready for me.

First, I was pleased to see that I had my absolute favorite anesthesiologist working on me that day …

His name is Dan from Windy City Anesthesiologist and he kicks butt !

Funny, skillful, you don’t feel a bit of pain, he’s got a relaxing smile and he’s also phucking hot !! Seriously, when your getting ready to pass out just before going under some serious surgery … his is one nice face to see as you fade away into dreamland.

He was my anesthesiologist when I got my tracheal shave, and if I had my way, he’d be my personal anesthesiologist whenever I had the need. If any of you future Dr. Z patients are lucky enough to get him to be the one knocking you out … count your lucky blessings … and have pleasant dreams ! 🙂

So Dan the Man goes through the basic pre-op questions for me …

And likewise, I ask him my traditional pre-op question …

Dan, have you had the two requisite shots of Jack Daniels yet? I don’t want anyone working on me who is completely sober?

You said that last time too, didn’t you?

Yuhp.

And you also told a pretty funny story about a hamburger if I remember right.

Well, yeah, so I’ve been told, I really don’t remember any of that.

Well, we’re all set, I’ll go do my shots of JD and the nurse will come in to go over a few things with you.

Skipper joined me at this point and the nurse went over the basic blah, blah, blah questions …

I really wasn’t paying too much attention.

I was still trying to think of something funny to say when I came out of my anesthesia …

I had talked with Laura the night before, and she, along with Skipper, both gave thumbs down to the works in process I was developing …

And I felt I was now under a bit of a time crunch,

In coming up with something funny to say …

At which point I just said …

Screw it, I’ve got nothing humorous to offer at this point.” 🙂

Anyways, after the nurse attempted to distract me …

Dr. Z came in to draw lines on my face and chest. (Seriously people, you really didn’t expect me to give you any full frontal nudity did you? :))

Now, in addition to the boob job, we were doing some touch up liposuction, an upper lip lift, and going heavy on the fat injections in my lip and temple region.

So it was expected that my surgery was going to take about 4 hours.

Plenty of time for me to send Skipper to the mall to pick me up a hoodie, as I failed to bring one with me to wear …

And knew full well that I was going to need something that zipped up, instead of pulling over my head.

Now, as I’ve mentioned before …

Only two people really share my same taste in clothes,

Singer and Skipper.

I’m completely comfortable shopping with either of them,

And in letting either of them pick something up for me and knowing that I’d like it.

So I was fine in sending Skipper on my hoodie hunt,

However, she refused to acquiesce to my request for a light blue hoodie.

Hmmmppphhh … go figure.

Anyways …

While she went shopping for me …

I headed into my four hour surgery.

PreSurgery.JPG

Once I was coming around in the recovery room …

I started doing my normal investigative thing,

Hey, they left me along in the room,

Hooked up to all sorts of monitors of course,

But there’s kewl equipment to check out.

So after asking them to send Skipper in the room to visit with me,

Which of course they let her do.

I started snorking around.

Removing my monitoring equipment,

Seeing if I could walk,

And helping myself to copious quantities of H20 and someone’s Pepsi.

Nonetheless, Skipper astutely observed that while I had been left on my own in the recovery room,

I had been being a bit mischevious.

And properly, sorta scolded me. 🙂

Anyways,

When Barb, the nice nurse, came back in …

I asked her for some food.

Which she promptly provided …

Unfortunately … what she gave me were the worst tasting cookies known to mankind.

Skipper barely finished one.

Well, of course, I ate all the rest.

Dr. Z came back in to checked me out thoroughly again …

And consistent with my ability to tolerate a fair quantity of pain,

While being able to gab incessantly during pretty much anything …

It wasn’t long before Skipper and I had the clearance to head back home.

Now the only anxiety I had about Skipper taking me to get my boob job,

Was that I honestly had some hesitation about her driving skills in the heat of Chicago traffic.

As mentioned before …

Singer would be the one I’d be most comfortable driving me, she’s just a phreaking good driver;

My brother and Uncle Dick would be tied for second, both I’m more than comfortable with being a passenger in their cars;

Then …

You have Shaft and Skipper.

Shaft, well, he’s just a reckless driver, he knows what he’s doing an all, it’s just that he’s reckless and likes to speed excessively;

And Skipper,

Well, she likes to drive with one foot on the dashboard.

Yes … the dashboard.

Anyways, to calm any anxiety I might experience,

Skipper kindly kept both feet on the floor while driving,

And managed the Chicago traffic perfectly.

We even stopped at McDonald’s for me on the way back where she let me overindulge in a hamburger, fries, four piece McNuggets, Filet O’ Fish and a tasty chocolate shake.

Once we crossed the border into my home state,

I started falling asleep.

And pretty much slept most of the way all the way back,

Waking only occasionally to answer questions I thought Skipper was asking me,

Only to realize that she wasn’t talking to me,

But conversaing with someone else on the cell phone.

We made it home around midnight,

And as promised,

I paged Dr. Z and left him a message that I made it home okay.

About 5 minutes later,

He called me back to check in on me.

Too sweet.

Skipper, bless her heart,

Even took the time before leaving,

Despite having to be simply exhausted,

To soak my new orange hoodie in an attempt to get rid of all the blood that had accummulated on it. (You were successful by the way Skipper … it’s all clear !! :))

So … it was a long day …

And my chest felt really, really tight.

Vicodin and valium were necessary prescriptions in my mind.

As this was a somewhat painful procedure.

I really couldn’t see much from my breast results as they were taped down and then ace bandaged on top of that …

My lips I could see,

And they were really, really big.

It’s the whole deal with fat injections … you have to overfill like crazy as about all but 20% of it gets reabsorbed.

Same thing in my temple region.

I’ve got cuts above my eye where endocsopically he removed some fat in my upper lids …

And I have bandages all over my face holding things in place for now.

I can say that once I got home,

I was able to sleep pretty comfortably in three hour blocks …

Which seemed to be the case all day Friday.

Anyways …

Here’s what I looked like right after surgery …

I kinda took a few steps backwards on the ugly scale, huh ?? LOL 🙂

PostSurgery.JPG

Don’t worry, things are improving nicely.

You’ll see ! 🙂

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5 Comments

  1. Amy – here’s to a speedy recovery…..and….. pleasant dreams of Anesthesiologist Dan 🙂

    cl

  2. ROFLMAO Oh … don’t be chicken … you hardly feel a thing … and the whole time you’re under … you get to dream about Anesthesiologist Dan !! 🙂

  3. Sweet Jeezuz ‘n lord almighty…is THAT what I’m in for next Saturday?

    I’m not goin’….and thats final!

    M

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